


Unavoidable crossroads

by Marce



Series: Consequences [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Depression, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending (I Promise), Light spoilers for S09E25, M/M, Post Season 9, Requited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-03-07 14:52:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18875419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marce/pseuds/Marce
Summary: "Let me ask you a question, Danny." Steve looked at Danny trying to keep his sadness from permeating through his gaze. "Why is it, suddenly, so important for you to know what I think about it? You have clearly made a decision and you and Rachel are together again. It’s not important what I have to say about that! ""You are my best friend, Steve! I need to know you're fine with this. ""No, Danny. You want me to tell you that it's good news you and Rachel are together again ... " Steve shook his head and turned around so Danny couldn´t see his anguish. "But you already know what I think ..."Steve lowered his voice, until it was barely audible, "I think it's a terrible idea ... the worst and saddest idea in a long chain of bad ideas! But ... "  Steve looked sadly at Danny, who now had an expression of suppressed anger, caught in flaming eyes.Steve muttered, "But ... As you said, you're my best friend, and I'll be there for you, no matter what you decide...if you think that is what will make you happy, there's nothing more to say, Danny. I'll have your back. " As the words escaped his lips, Steve felt his heart shatter.





	1. Maybe it's time to move on

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so angry at the possibility that Danny and Rachel could be back together!  
> I think it's a huge, huge mistake! Danny would not forget everything that had to happen in the aftermath of the divorce, the eternal fight to spend a few hours with Grace and all the sordid issues about Charlie. As the authors of some fics on this site mention, Rachel has a very casual relationship with the truth, avoiding it or suppressing it completely, when it doesn't suit her interests.  
> That's why I thought to write this story. It's my first McDanno story, so please, be gentle. If you have read my other stories, you will know I never leave something unfinished. It's a medium story, from 10 to 12 chapters. I'll publish the new chapters every two days.  
> I thank my beta, Hugo, for his time and ideas. If you find an error, it's all mine, tell me and I'll be happy to fix it. Please, let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: All the characters and situations inherent in the Hawaii five-0 TV show, are owned by its creators and CBS. They are taken back for entertainment purposes only. No money or goods have been exchanged in the publishing of this story.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

**May, 2019**

Steve crumpled the sheet of paper with the seal of the United States Navy and sighed deeply. He got up and took a few steps around his office, then collapsed on the couch and hid his face between his hands.

The whirlwind of the last hours turned in his head again and again. One more time, someone was injured as a result of his past actions. Maybe it was naive to think that, with Hassan imprisoned in a black site and Greer dead, the whole dark affair was finally over. He deceived himself on that, and now Jerry was in the hospital, with a gunshot wound.

* * *

 

**_Two hours ago_ **

_It had been anguished hours waiting for news. He remained standing, half-hidden in a dark corner of the waiting room at Queens Medical Center, while the rest of the team waited patiently, sitting on chairs and comforting each other in low voices._

_When, finally, the doctor came out and said that Jerry would pull through, Steve couldn't take it anymore and  left the waiting room, in the middle of the surge of questions with which Danny and Lou attacked the doctor. He hid in the bathroom to let, finally, that the guilt and the anguish came out from him in drowned sobs._

_Sitting on the closed lid of the toilet and protected by the thin walls of the tiny cubicle, he took a few deep breaths to calm down himself. He shut up suddenly, alerted for the sound of the bathroom door and a few steps echoed on the white tile floor. Silently, he listened to the man taking care of his business and washing his hands, to leave the bathroom shortly after._

_When Steve was sure he was alone again, he cautiously opened the cubicle door and looked at his image in the mirror, while washing his hands and pouring cold water on his head and neck._

_Slowly, he opened the door and stepped out into the crowded corridor. Without looking back, he walked quickly to the parking lot and climbed into his truck, turning the engine on and driving to the HQ._

* * *

 

Five-0 headquarters was deserted and dark. Only the dim light from his desk lamp and the bluish light of the smart-table broke the gloom that wraped him, that gloom that was a true reflection of what was going on inside him since Joe's death. He had been forced to put a stop to his feelings and his grief, dragged irremediably by everything that had happened since his return from Montana. The cases followed one another, giving him barely time for mourning. So, as usually, he had thrown all the pain to the bottom of his mind to deal with it later.

The ring of the elevator broke the silence and the familiar pace of footsteps came quickly to enter the headquarters. He didn't even raise his head when the expected sound of his office glass door opened and Danny's voice said "Hey ..."

The silence came back heavy, crushing him, until Danny spoke again, as he sat on the couch next to him, "So ... Jerry... he'll be fine."

Steve felt the weight of Danny's hand that fell gently between his shoulder blades in a gesture that was meant to be comforting, but that went through the thin fabric of his shirt and felt like a red-hot iron that marked him deeply. He nodded silently, unable to prevent a sigh escaping his throat furtively.

"Don't do that!" Danny said, "This is not your fault, and you know that! These people are crazy, Steve. They live trapped in an endless desire for revenge ... it's all what they learned and the only thing they know. What Hassan did was for revenge, and now his wife. And unfortunately it's what his son and thousands of kids will learn."

Sighing, Steve slowly raised his head and looked at Danny with infinite sadness. "I did this, Danny!"

Danny shook his head, but Steve put his hand in Danny's chest saying, "Jerry was hurt because what I did seventeen years ago and what I did again, five months ago ..." without giving Danny a chance to respond, Steve spoke again, "This will never end ... and it has already ruined countless lives ... it will... it will only end when I ..." He broke off suddenly, closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

Danny's eyes wandered to look at Steve's hands, looking, for the first time, at the crumpled paper twisted between Steve's stiff fingers. "What is that, babe?" Danny asked softly, holding Steve's hands and trying gently to stretch his fingers.

Instinctively, Steve pulled his hands away and shook his head, "It's nothing ..." he said in a barely audible voice, "Nothing important." He got up and went around his desk, throwing the crumpled paper into a drawer and slamming it.

Danny frowned but said nothing. Sighing, he got up and walked cautiously towards Steve, who looked at him with an indecipherable expression. Danny's phone rang with an unpleasantly cloying tune, Steve's eyes involuntarily strayed to the screen that lit up and showed an image of a smiling Rachel.

"Hi ..." Danny answered, placing his phone in his ear, as he turned around and left the office, looking for some privacy. Steve listened to the unintelligible murmur of Danny's words, who leaned against the smart-table while talking on the phone. Slowly, Steve sighed one more time, opened the drawer of his desk again and looked at the letter, as if meditating on his options. He closed the drawer again, securing the lock with a small key. He walked to the door, switched off the lights and hurriedly and silently left the headquarters.


	2. An awkward conversation

Steve drove aimlessly for about two hours. He felt saturated, overwhelmed by the huge bundle of feelings that piled up in his soul. He tried, unsuccessfully, to classify them in his mind, for the sole purpose of understanding them. But after all that time he didn't get anything clear.

The world seemed to have tilted on its axis since Joe's death. Emotions emerged inclemently from where he had been locked them for a long, long time.

His constant concern for his sister…

Catherine and the bittersweet thoughts about him, losing the only chance he had for not to stay alone for the rest of his life, losing his only chance to be happy... kind of…

His inability to protect his team ...

And above all, his feelings for Danny ...

A wave of nausea welled up in his throat ... "What the hell is wrong with Danny?" He shouted, feeling how the sound resounded in the lonely cabin of his truck, and his stomach churned as he thought about the possibility of his friend being involved with his ex again... this possibility was stronger than ever. If he was honest with himself, it's something that Steve had seen coming for a while. Several times he had tried to bring up the subject casually in his conversations with Danny, because he needed to know ... But his partner always scoffed and denied any possibility of that happening.

Steve believed him ... or at least, a part of him did and refused to see the truth that was built inexorably before his eyes. No matter what Danny said, they spent more and more time together since Grace's accident, and Danny started treating Rachel in a different way: the osso bucco, the hurricane and more recently their mysterious trip to Kauai.

The phone rang, knocking him out of his reverie. It was a text message, so he turned the wheel to stop his truck at the side of the road to read it. It was a message from Lou "Jerry in ICU. Doc says he's going to be fine. They pushed us out for the night. "

"OK. Thanks " was the short answer.

"Rest a bit. See U tomorrow". Steve smiled sadly at the thought of Lou's grave voice. He put the truck back on the road and drove to the hospital.

Ten minutes later, he was walking down the almost deserted corridor of the ICU, approaching the desk where a nurse was typing furiously on a laptop computer.

"Can I help you?" The girl asked in a tired voice.

"Yeah, thanks ... I need to see Jerry Ortega ... he came out of surgery recently, gunshot wound," Steve replied, anticipating the refusal. After typing for a few seconds, the nurse told him: "Mr. Ortega is in the ICU, it seems that he's recovering satisfactorily, are you family?"

Before Steve could answer, a familiar voice came from across the corridor: "Commander McGarrett! I figured you'd still be around." Dr. Lee, a tall, thin local man, who had treated several of Five-0's medical emergencies, came over and shook Steve's hand, "As I told your team, Mr. Ortega came out of surgery and is recovering in the ICU, he'll be out for a few hours, why don't you go home and get some sleep? "

"I need to see him, Doc!" Steve answered and the doctor couldn't help but notice the anguish in his voice. He knew that trying to convince Steve otherwise would be unsuccessful, so, releasing a slight sigh, he looked at the nurse and nodded in silence, then looked at Steve again, "try not to wake him up, Mr. Ortega needs to rest."

Steve Steve firmly shook Lee's hand as he nodded, "Thank you, Doc." He walked quickly down the corridor, following the nurse, who stopped in front of a glass door, sliding it gently. At the silent gesture, Steve walked in front of her, thanking him with a nod.

The room was dark, except for the flickering lights of the vital signs monitors. The silence was broken only by a continuous beep that indicated Jerry's heart rate. The most vulnerable member of his team was lying down, with his eyes closed and breathing through an oxygen mask that covered his nose and mouth. The guilt came back, more intense. That bullet had been aimed at him, but Jerry pushed him in the last moment.

Slowly, he pulled the chair closer and dropped into it, feeling dejected. He rested his elbows on his thighs, placing the head in his hands and breathing heavily. The thoughts came back to attack him.

 

* * *

A movement near him woke him up. Steve stretched his stiff neck and lifted his head, to see Jerry trying to take off his oxygen mask. He quickly got up and walked over to the bed, gently pulling Jerry's hand away, "Hey ... shh ... Hey buddy, don't do that! You need it". Jerry looked at him with a frown, while Steve pressed the button to call the nurse, who entered the room a minute later.

While the nurse checked Jerry's vitals and removed the oxygen mask, replacing it with a nasal cannula, Steve moved back, leaned heavily on the wall and looked at his watch, it was 4:00 am. When the woman left the room, he went back to the bed and gently placed his hand on Jerry's shoulder. "Hey…"

"Hey, commander!" Jerry answered hoarsely.

"How do you feel, buddy?" Steve asked in a trembling voice, trying to hold back the tears that were gathering in his eyes as they struggled to get out.

Jerry noticed that and put his hand over Steve's, "I'll be fine, McGruf!"

"Listen, Jerry ... I...  I'm sorry! ... You ... You shouldn't... "

"It's not your fault, commander! ... Please tell me you guys got that crazy woman. "

"We got her, Jerry. Don't worry about it…"

Jerry's eyelids closed again, while Steve whispered, "Go to sleep, buddy. I'll be here!"

He sat back in the chair and pulled out his phone, smiling briefly as he looked at the image on the screen: a picture of him, Danny and Grace making funny faces. To spend the time and avoid a new mental crisis, he began to slide his finger across the screen and looked at the images: Mary and Joannie, Junior and Tani, Aunt Deb, Chin, Kono ... but most of the photos were about Charlie, Grace and Danny.

When he looked at his watch again it was almost 6:00 am. Silently, he got up and walked to the glass door, sliding just enough to get out. He looked back one more time, to see Jerry, who was sleeping peacefully, then he went out into the corridor and left the hospital pensively.

The sun peeked slowly, turning the sky pink and orange. Steve sighed. He liked to watch the sunrise ... He had traveled the whole world, but nowhere did he see a show as beautiful as the sunrise in Hawaii. He walked slowly through the almost empty parking lot, noticing the fatigue that accumulated in his bones. Like an automaton, he got into his truck and drove home.

 

* * *

 

After his phone call, Danny pushed the end button and turned to see Steve's dark office. He shook his head. He had always been amazed by Steve's SEAL ninja abilities. The man had slipped away without Danny noticing. Sighing, he walked to the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the small fridge. After opening the lid, he took a long drink, turned on his heels, to turn off the lights and left the headquarters.

He was sick of worry. He knew Steve and he was sure the man would be submerged in a sea of guilt for what happened. But who could have even imagined that? Hassan's wife looked so sincere when she said she wanted her son to learn about forgiveness. None of them could foresee what happened, it was all so sudden!

While he was waiting for the elevator, kicked the floor with fury, "Damn it!" He thought, Steve seemed to slowly overcome Joe's death, and now this was happening! He guessed the emotional recoil that this would mean for his friend and the sadness invaded him. Had not Steve suffered enough? Worry piled in his stomach, as he wondered how much more can a man bear without collapsing?

The Camaro went automatically to Steve's house ... Danny realized where he was, just when he turned in the driveway. He frowned worriedly to see that the Silverado wasn't there. The house was dark and silent. Knowing it was absurd, he surrounded the house through the garden, pondering the faint hope of seeing his friend sitting on the beach chairs. Steve wasn't there.

He retraced his steps and went to the front door, opening with his own key, deactivated the alarm and got into the house, turning on the light of the lamp. He closed the door behind him and looked around.

The house was cozy and familiar. Danny knew every room, every corner was full of memories, some cheerful, but most of them tragic. Sometimes, he wondered how Steve could continue living there. The house was full of ghosts.

He went to the kitchen and, without turning on the light, opened the fridge to get a beer. He returned to the living room, and droped himself on the couch, determined to wait for Steve's arrival. He needed to finish his pending conversation. He didn't understand why Steve's reaction (or lack of reaction) bothered him so much, when he told him about his little getaway to Kauai with Rachel.

True, things happened very quickly after that, but he needed to know ... He needed to be sure that Steve would have his back if he decided to resume his relationship with Rachel. He always felt frustrated at not having made his marriage work and felt guilty about it ... For Grace and Charlie ... for not being able to give them a stable home, a home where their parents lived together.

He felt confused. Steve had always told him that, as far as Rachel was concerned, Danny was like a teenager in love ... he wasn't sure about that. Rachel was the mother of his children, and a part of him would always love her for that. He was sure that, at last, they both had buried the hatchet, for the benefit of their kids. They got along better, since Stan left, and the divorce started. He tried to help Rachel with the children and tried to be a support for her.

But Grace's accident had been a catalyst. Rachel, clearly, was reliving her feelings for him. She used to look at him with that loving expression she had when they met, and that lasted a few months, at the beginning of their marriage. The touches, the innuendo, were becoming more frequent.

Danny knew he had a weakness when Rachel treated him well. In those moments, he could not repress the hope of recovering his family. He knew that, inevitably, he had missed many important moments in Grace's life and now he had an opportunity to not miss a single moment of Charlie's life from now on... and he was determined to take advantage of it, no matter what that meant ... no matter that he wasn't really in love with Rachel.

If he was completely honest, there was only one thing that bothered him ... that prevented him from being completely sure about that was the right decision: Steve.

Danny knew that Steve wouldn't agree with this. He was sure his friend would remember every moment ... every battle with the lawyers ... the court hearings ... the lost time with Charlie. Steve had treated Rachel kindly since the accident, trying to be, as always, the backup Danny needs ... but he was sure he wasn't going to like the news.

Trying to clear his mind, he turned on the TV, tuning into a telemarketing channel and resting his head on the back of the couch. The monotonous and cloying voice of a girl showing the benefits of an absurd workout machine, stunned him for a while, until he slowly fell asleep.

 

* * *

The familiar sound of the Silverado engine woke him up. For a moment he looked confused around, when the dim light of dawn penetrated through the window. A few steps slid slowly towards the door, which opened shortly after.

Danny saw how Steve's face contracted when his friend saw him sitting on the couch, watching him. After an awkward pause, Steve came in and closed the door, waved his hand wearily in greeting "Hey ..."

Fatigue was revealed in every Steve's movement, shoulders drooping and steps dragged as Danny followed him with his eyes and said, "Hey ... I was worried. Where the hell have you been? " He got up and followed his friend to the kitchen.

"Out there ..." Steve answered and got into the kitchen, opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Then he searched the top shelf for some yellow pill bottles. He took several and swallowed them all together with the help of a large sip of water.

"Steve ..." Danny spoke cautiously.

Steve shook his head and raised his right hand, "Leave it alone, Danny ... just ... don't..." He removed one of the chairs and sat down, resting his elbows on the table and hiding the face in his hands. "I come from the hospital ... I saw Jerry, doctor Lee said he'll be fine".

Danny nodded, as he sat in front of Steve, "I know you don't want to talk about it, but sooner or later ..."

Steve interrupted him "Sooner or later, Danny, but not now, okay?"

"Ok ... then let's talk about something else," Danny took a long swig of his beer, now warm.

Steve raised his head and looked sadly at his friend, "I can't imagine what you might want to talk about."

"Mmmm ..." Danny pretended to think, "We can talk about that mysterious letter that you kept under lock on your desk ... or we could ... I'd like to finish the other pending conversation."

Steve frowned, pretending not to know what Danny meant. Danny shook his head and said "You know what I mean, Steve ... I want to talk about Rachel."

"For real, Danny? ... Now?" Steve made a move to get up, but Danny quickly placed his hand on his friend's forearm, holding him firmly.

Trying to delay the inevitable, Steve made one last effort, muttering, "I'm tired Danny ... Why can't we talk about this later?"

"I'd rather do it now, Steve," Danny replied, trying to avoid the sarcastic tone in his voice, "Before you do another of your ninja tricks and disappear again."

Steve moved his arm back, frowning, feeling again that the contact of Danny's hand on his skin burned him to the deepest. He took another sip of water and got up, took a few steps and opened the glass doors, walking towards the beach, followed by Danny, who was watching him curiously.

Steve stopped by the chairs and leaned down to release the straps of his boots. When he was barefoot, he walked on the sand to the shore, where he let the warm water soak his feet deliciously and waited.

Danny walked until he was a few steps behind him and started talking. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the trip to Kauai ..."

Steve stared intently at the calm surface of the ocean and felt a gentle breeze caress his face and shake his hair. A few seconds later he asked confused, "I don't understand, Danny ... Why did you have to lie to me?"

Danny sighed, "I don't know ... I guess I wanted to be sure of this before talking to you ... or someone."

Without turning his head, Steve asked, "And now, are you sure?"

"Maybe ..." Danny's hesitant tone confused Steve even more. "Maybe what I need is to know what you think ..."

"Let me ask you a question, Danny." Steve looked at Danny trying to keep his sadness from permeating through his gaze. "Why is it suddenly so important for you to know what I think about it? You have clearly made a decision and you and Rachel are together again. It’s not important what I have to say about that! "

"You are my best friend, Steve! I need to know you're fine with this. "

"No, Danny. You want me to tell you that it's good news you and Rachel are together again ... " Steve shook his head and turned around so Danny couldn´t see his anguish. "But you already know what I think ..."

Steve lowered his voice, until it was barely audible, "I think it's a terrible idea ... the worst and saddest idea in a long chain of bad ideas! But ... " Steve looked sadly at Danny, who now had an expression of suppressed anger, caught in flaming eyes.

"But ..." Steve spoke again, "As you said, you're my best friend, and I'll be there for you, no matter what you decide. If you think that marry her again, forgetting everything that happened, is the best thing for you and the children..."  He approached Danny and placed his hands on his friend's shoulders, "And, above all, if you think that is what will make you happy, there's nothing more to say, Danny. I'll have your back. " As the words escaped his lips, Steve felt his heart shatter." 


	3. More questions than answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my ...! I'm making my boys suffer a lot. But they are so blind! They need something that makes them react, don't you think?  
> Please let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy reading!

**_"But ..." Steve spoke again, "As you said, you're my best friend, and I'll be there for you, no matter what you decide. If you think that marry her again, forgetting everything that happened, is the best thing for you and the children..."  He approached Danny and placed his hands on his friend's shoulders, "And, above all, if you think that is what will make you happy, there's nothing more to say, Danny. I'll have your back. " As the words escaped his lips, Steve felt his heart shatter."_ **

* * *

 

Danny was shocked for a moment, "Marry her? Who the hell said anything about getting married? All I know is that I'm trying to get close with her, Steve. And after some time, maybe ... Who knows? It would be good to have someone in my life again, someone to return to at night, someone to laugh and cry with. I miss that, Steve!" Danny paused to breathe and allow his anger to subside a little. "Listen... You were not there when Rachel and I ...  when we..."

Danny's breathing sounded agitated and he looked nervous, rubbing his hands together energetically and sweating profusely. Steve worried, "Hey, hey ... Calm down Danno! okay? This is just me... Actually, you don't owe me any explanation. I already told you that if you want to resume your relationship with her, it's fine with me ... Not that you need my permission, but you have my support ... Always, okay?" Steve placed his hands on Danny's shoulders, to anchor him and help him to calm down.

"You were not there during the hurricane ... Steve, if you had seen Charlie's face! He was so happy, only because he had his parents together! And I'm sure Grace would be happy too! ... I know she's worried about me!"

Steve frowned and walked away from Danny, once he made sure that his friend had calmed down enough, "Worried?"

"Yes, worried about the lonely I'd feel, once she's gone to college." Danny walked back to the chairs and dropped himself into one of them, sighing. "Look, I know she had to go through a lot of things when the divorce and all that ... That's why I want to make her up for it, Steve, I want to show her that her family can be united again."

Steve shook his head silently, but the movement was barely perceptible and Danny didn't notice. Sadly, he looked back at the ocean, asking, "And what about you, Danny? Where is your happiness in this whole scenario?"

"What makes you think I'm not also considering my happiness?" Danny's voice sounded impatient. "If I dig into my past, I can only think that the happiest moment I lived, was during the first few years of our marriage, Steve. In that time, I was excited about my future, Rachel was beautiful and we really loved each other. Why can not I feel that again? "

Steve sighed one more time, trying to hold back, as he felt his world fall down. In his heart, he knew Danny was fooling himself thinking that he could erase the last ten years of his life and dreaming that everything would be perfect again in his relationship with Rachel, but Steve knew better ... Not everything would be so easy.

Defeated, he turned to look at Danny, who watched him with pleading eyes. "I've told you that no matter what you decide, I'll be there for you, Danny. I just hope you're not wrong."

"I'm not, Steve. I'll be fine".

"Well ... That's all I need to know. If you're happy, I'll be happy too." Steve spoke quickly and turned around, walking back to the house, hoping Danny wouldn't follow him. He needed to calm down and contain the anguish that tightened his chest and struggled to get out. "I'll be back in a moment," he said hoarsely.

"Where are you going?" Danny asked, worried.

"Don't get up ..." Steve answered without looking at his friend, "I'll be right back."

Steve opened the glass doors and entered the house like a whirlwind. Running, he entered the bathroom on the ground floor and closed the door behind him, just as the first tears began to appear. He didn't understand ... Why was it affecting him so much that Danny and Rachel were together again? Over time he had perfected the art of lying to himself and ignoring his feelings, until he was convinced that he had overcome them. Why now? Why was it so hard to accept that Danny would never see him more than as a friend?

He sat on the closed lid of the toilet, trying to calm down. What hurt him most was when Danny said he had only been happy while he was married to Rachel. That meant their relationship ... That friendship that had represented the world to Steve ... had not meant the same to Danny. Disappointment came pouring out in the form of uncontrolled tears and muffled sobs.

He listened to the faint sound of Danny's cell phone ringing and his distant voice when he answered. A few minutes later, a knock on the door. "Steve? ... Hey buddy, are you okay?"

Steve tried to make his voice sound normal, "I'm fine ... I'll be out in a minute."

"Listen ... I should go, okay? Rachel called ... something happened and I must go to pick up Charlie and take him to school." Danny waited a few seconds for an answer that never came. "I'll see you later, buddy, okay?"

"Okay ..." a short answer ... Nothing more.

Danny snorted impatiently. Defeated, he walked to the door and left the house, closing the door behind him.

 

 

Steve waited a few minutes. He wanted to make sure Danny was gone. Cautiously, he opened the bathroom door and leaned out. Slowly, he walked to the living room, looking around. Ignoring a slight twinge of hope, he leaned out the window looking for the Camaro ... It was gone.

He collapsed on the couch... He still felt the tiredness hurt in every inch of his body, but he wasn't sleepy anymore... He felt restless.

He began to think about his options and his mind returned to the letter from the Navy he had received a couple of days before ... Maybe ... Maybe it was time to move on.

 

He sat, staring, only a few minutes, but it seemed to him that it had been hours. The need to do something forced him to get up. A pain in his stomach reminded him that he had not eaten since the day before, but he wasn't hungry. He walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge door and stood there ... looking without seeing the inside, closing his eyes with pleasure at the slight cold air stream that reached him and caressed his face ... He didn't want anything. A while later, he slammed the fridge door and checked one of the upper shelves, took a protein bar, opened the wrap and took a bite, chewing automatically ... It tasted like cardboard ... he forced himself to finish it and drank avidly a bottle of ice water.

Later, he walked to the small office and sat down. He opened the drawers and began to take out some small boxes, lots of envelopes and documents, scattering them on the polished surface of his father's desk.

 

* * *

Danny had that unpleasant feeling all day long. He had taken Charlie to school and agreed to meet Rachel for lunch. He called Lou to check on Jerry's condition and promised to stop by the hospital sometime during the afternoon.

Several times he was about to call Steve, but he gave up at the last moment. He didn't want to face the discouraging spirit of his friend again. He knew Steve would be depressed for the next few days, but in the end he'd get over it, wouldn't he? _"He always does, you just have to give him some time,"_ he thought.

Lunch with Rachel was fine. They chatted about the kids; Rachel asked about Jerry and, in a reassuring gesture, moved her hand over the table and took Danny's hand... he barely noticed. Rachel understood his absent attitude, after all, Danny was worried about his team.

Danny sighed and appreciated her solidarity and understanding ... That's all what he needed, right? Love and attraction would return over time ... It would only took time.

Early in the afternoon, Danny walked down the corridor in the ICU, at Queens Medical Center. He went to the closed door of Jerry's room and opened it. His surprised eyes looked at the empty bed and, for a moment, he feared the worst. He went quickly to the nurses station and, showing his badge, asked the girl who was on duty. "Mr. Ortega was moved to a regular room an hour ago," she said, after consulting her computer screen, "Room 1305."

Breathing more easily, Danny ran to the room. Upon entering, he found the smiling faces of Lou, Tani, Adam and Junior, who joked happily with Jerry who, definitely, looked much better than the day before. "Hey, buddy!" He greeted with a smile that reached his eyes, "You look much better today! How you feel?"

"Hey ..." Jerry greeted him, after swallowing a mouthful of lemon jelly, which Tani gave him in small scoops, "I'm fine ..." Seeing Danny's incredulous look, Jerry asked, "Tell me one thing, guys. Why do you look at me like that when I tell you I'm fine? This morning McGarrett came up to me, touched my forehead and carefully checked the vital signs before believing me. "

"Steve was here this morning?" Adam asked.

"And last night too! All night," Jerry said between bites of jelly. "The poor man was really worried! He feels guilty. But I told him I'm fine, and sent him home ... The boss looks like a zombie, he needs rest ... But I think he won't do that. "

Tani gently wiped Jerry's lips with a napkin, reminding Danny of the way his mother did it with him when he was a kid. "Why?" She asked, giving Jerry a glass of pineapple juice.

"He said he had things to do ... a meeting with the governor, I think." Jerry replied after taking a sip of juice. Noticing everyone's uncertainty, Jerry clarified, "But he said he might come back in the afternoon."

The conversation continued, light and inconsequential. Thirty minutes later, the four team members said goodbye to Jerry. "You must sleep, Jerry," Danny said, "You have to get well soon, we need you to continue doing your magic and we can't solve the cases without you, okay?"

"I will, guys. Thanks for coming," Jerry replied, trying, unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Jer." Tani said cheerfully, and the four friends left the room.

Walking towards the Camaro, Danny felt that the restlessness he had felt all day, returned with greater intensity. A meeting with the governor?

Steve had not mentioned anything that morning.

 

The afternoon passed slowly in the headquarters. Danny played Solitaire on his computer, trying to distract his mind and avoid climbing the walls. Steve had not yet returned from his supposed meeting with the governor. Lou and Junior were in their offices. They both stared at their computer screens and pretended to work. Tani and Adam had gone to the precinct, to complete the report about the shooting.

His phone rang, surprising him. Danny looked at him for a few seconds. Steve's picture and the text "McGarrett" were shown on the screen. "Hello ..." he answered cautiously.

"Hey, Danny ..." Steve's voice sounded tense. His friend was talking on the speaker, Danny supposed he was driving his truck.

"Hey ... Where have you been? Jerry told us something about a meeting with the governor ... but it's been a long time. You're good?"

"I'm fine ... Listen ... I'm on my way to Pearl-Hickham."

Sensing something, Danny asked, fearful, "Pearl? Why? ... Is something wrong? "

"Everything's fine ..." Steve answered and, for a few seconds, an unwanted pause filled the line. "Listen, Danno ... I must get out of town for a couple of days and I need you to hold the fort for me. Okay?"

"Get out of town?" Danny felt foolish, suddenly, for repeating everything Steve said. Unable to hide his suspicion, he asked, "Steve ... What's going on? Why this sudden trip? " He settled back in his seat and placed his elbows on the desk, waiting for an answer that didn't come and tried to ease the tension with a touch of sarcasm, "Steve ... Please tell me you're not going to Timbuktu to rescue a group of aboriginal guys from the terrorists ... my poor heart can't stand it! "

An indecipherable, false laugh reached Danny's ears ... "None of that, Danny. Everything is fine. There's something I have to do ... Procedures for the Navy ..." The makeshift excuse didn't go unnoticed by Danny, but he didn't say anything and continued to hear his friend's explanation, " ... I need to go to the mainland. I'm going to take advantage of a flight that is leaving from Pearl in half an hour... I'll be back in a couple of days, all right?"

Danny sighed and answered with his usual tone of voice, "All right, Super SEAL, but if I don't hear anything about you in a couple of days, I'll go to Pearl and question every admiral, captain or whatever, until I find out where the hell you're gone, and I'm going to bring your ass back, to shoot you myself, is that clear? "

"Crystal, Danno ... I'll keep in touch, okay? Don't worry."

"It's funny, Steven ..." Danny replied, keeping the sarcastic tone, "Whenever you tell me not to worry, it's the first thing I do ..."

"Goodbye, Daniel. I'll see you soon".

"Fine! ..." Danny answered and heard the click indicating that Steve had finished the call.

 

* * *

 

Danny couldn't sleep that night. The familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach ... that feeling that told him something was wrong with Steve... the feeling that, unfortunately, always was right, was still there ... The knot in his gut tortured him, implacable. He tossed countless times on the bed, stirring the sheets, until he couldn't stand any longer.

He got up, put a pair of shorts and an old T-shirt on, took his keys and his gun, and quickly ran to the Camaro. Fifteen minutes later, he was in front of  Steve's house. The Silverado was parked in the usual place.

Quickly, he turned off the engine and ran to the entrance. He opened the door with his own key and deactivated the alarm, when he turned on the light in the living room, his eyes immediately focused on the office. The place was a mess. There were papers and objects everywhere. Instinctively, he pulled out his gun, checking each room. The house was deserted.

Trying to reassure the accelerated pounding of his heart against his ribs, he took a deep breath a couple of times and went down to the office, looking around the room. Slowly, he went to the desk and saw two small black boxes ...He took one of them and opened it ... The purple heart was looking at him from the box ... The purple heart that US Navy had given to Steve after one of his missions. A mission for which his friend had almost died.

Steve had shown it to him once, years ago, but he had never told him the reason why the Navy had given it to him ... "It's classified, Danno," he had said, with the mischievous smile on his lips.

Without closing the box, he placed it on the desk and lifted the other box. It contained the Silver Star. The highest decorations Steve had received during his military career were there, on the desk, looking at Danny almost with mockery.

Once, a long time ago, Danny had asked Steve why he had not put them in his office, with the other medals and decorations. His friend had shrugged and a deep sadness had darkened his face. Then he had murmured, "They deserved them more ... The only thing I did was survive ..."

Danny took a black folder with the seal of the US Navy and opened it. Inside was Steve's resume ... the same one that Danny had searched during the first days of Five-0, when he had tried to find out something about his new crazy boss ... That document that said very little about his friend ... The rest was classified.

  
He spent the rest of the night going through countless sheets of paper, trying to find out something ... but his investigation was a failure. Some of the papers were police files from John McGarrett's time with HPD, documents about his family. The birth certificates of Steve and Mary, which were in an envelope with dozens of photographs of their childhood. Snapshots from a time that now seemed so far away ... when Steve had the only glimmer of normality in his life.

The Champ Box was there, containing the same riddles that Steve had tried to solve for the last nine years ... Some of them still not clear.

Two or three hours later, Danny sighed, giving up and leaning back in the chair. His mind was saturated, and he still had no idea of the reasons for Steve's unexpected trip ... Suddenly, his mind returned to the enigmatic letter that Steve had kept locked in the drawer of his office desk at headquarters.


	4. A great opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has some light spoilers for S09E25.  
> Enjoy reading! (And please let me know what you think)

The military aircraft landed at the Naval Air Station in North Island, Coronado, at 02:00. Steve followed the small group of sailors and Navy officers, who had flown with him and got off the plane soon after. David had scheduled his meeting at 09:00, so he had booked a room at the Navy Lodge. Twenty minutes later, he got out of the military jeep and entered through the hotel main door, after the young and shy Ensign assured him that he would pick Steve up at 08:30.

Tired and distracted, he checked in at the front desk. Despite the hour, the receptionist smiled and handed him his access card, wishing him good night.

It was hot, so a few seconds after closing the door of his room, he put his watch, phone and badge on the bedside table and quickly went to the bathroom turning on the shower tap.

Rejecting the usual three-minute shower, he let the powerful stream of hot water slide down his back, easing the tension in his muscles and breathing deeply. His mind wandered until the moment he had received the letter from David Lange, a few days before.

* * *

_Steve came into his office that morning, carrying a paper cup of a steaming coffee. The previous day had been like hell, but it had ended well after all, when they booked Wright. His eyes focused on a white envelope that was on his desk, leaning against the lamp._

_Intrigued, he came over and picked up the envelope, rolling it in his hands. His name was handwritten in the back, and there was the Coronado postal stamp. He looked up for a few seconds to watch through the glass walls. The other offices were dark, it was still early and nobody had arrived at the headquarters yet._

_His eyes landed on the envelope again and he opened it. The envelop contained two pages with the seal of the Navy at the top. Before reading, he quickly searched for the signature and a sudden relief came immediately. ‘Commander David Lange’. Steve sighed, it was not an official matter ... At least, not yet ... "_

_He closed his eyes and smiled, remembering his friend and diving buddy. The last time he had heard from David, it had been the day that Junior arrived at his door almost two years ago. Steve knew David was working on training the SEAL team new recruits at the Coronado Naval Base._

_At the beginning, the letter contained some greetings and friendly phrases ... Then, a proposition... At the end of the second page, David asked Steve to call him as soon as possible._

_After a second reading, Steve sat on the chair, leaning back, to rest his head on the backrest and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, he folded the sheets of paper and put it back in the envelope, while he picked up his phone and dialed the number._

_After two or three tones, he heard a voice that answered, "Hello ..."_

_"David, it's Steve McGarrett." Steve's tone was warm and friendly._

_"Heeey, Smooth Dog! It's been a while ... By your call, I guess you got my letter."_

_They talked for twenty minutes, while David explained the reasons and conditions for his offer. Before ending the call, David said, "It's a great opportunity, Steve. It could be the finishing touch that will close your brilliant career, my friend... "_

_Steve answered hesitantly, "I know, Dave ... but ..."_

_David interrupted him, "Listen, buddy ... the Navy is waiting for my recommendation until the end of the month ... Why don't we meet and discuss it?"_

* * *

The water cooled slowly, pulling Steve out of his thoughts. He closed the tap and opened the door, to take a fluffy white towel. Slowly, he passed the towel through his body, enjoying the soft touch of the fabric on his skin. He knotted the towel around his waist and walked to the bathroom mirror, fogged by the condensed vapor that flooded the room. With the back of his hand, he wiped it and looked at his reflection: He didn't like what he saw... The dark shadows under his eyes, the sharp facial features, and the sad look.

Slowly he left the bathroom and walked to the bed, dropping himself face down on the soft mattress and closing his eyes. He soon fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes, the dim light filtered through the curtains that covered the windows of his room. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was. He rolled on the bed, realizing he was naked, covered only by the towel he had used after his shower. He got up slowly and, readjusting the towel, walked to the bedside table, taking his watch and checking the time. Half an hour later, he left his room closing the door behind him. He had showered and shaved; he was wearing his camouflage uniform. In his hands, he carried a black folder.

At 08:30, the jeep stopped in front of the hotel door, driven by the silent ensign, who greeted him ceremoniously, "Good morning, sir ..."

Steve smiled and answered, "Good morning, Ensign Rodriguez ..." he climbed into the jeep, which left to the Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE) training facility.

When they reached the base, Steve walked silently next to the nervous Ensign Rodriguez, heading to David Lange's office. As he passed, he saw a couple of SEALS walking in the opposite direction. They were young, probably had just finished their training and wore their bright tridents on their chests. The guys looked at Steve, recognizing him. They gave him a military salute, respectfully saying: "Sir ..." Steve nodded in response. When the boys had taken a few steps away, Steve turned his head to see how they were muttering to each other.

A few minutes later, Steve and the ensign arrived at Lange's office and looked at the secretary. "Lieutenant Commander McGarrett ..." Steve introduced himself, "I'm here for a meeting with Commander Lange."

"I'll let him know you're here, sir ..." The secretary's voice was serious and professional when she said, "Take a seat please ..."

The woman turned on her heel and walked to the closed door of Lange's office, she knocked twice and entered. Steve turned his head and silently thanked the Ensign, who said goodbye with a military salute, turned and walked away, with firm steps and rigid back.

There were a couple of armchairs in front of the desk. Steve sat on one of them and a few minutes later, the secretary came out of the office saying, while pointing to the open door, "Commander McGarrett, come in, please."

Steve passed in front of her and entered the office, the door closing softly behind him. David was sitting behind his desk finishing a phone call. Looking at Steve, he hung up the phone and stood up, coming forward with outstretched arms. "Smooth Dog! ..." he said cheerfully, as he wrapped Steve in a friendly hug."Dave! It's been a while ... You look good, buddy! " 

* * *

Danny arrived early at the office that morning. After his unsuccessful investigation at Steve's house, he took out the duffel bag he kept in the Camaro's trunk and showered in the guest bathroom. He made coffee in Steve's lavish french press and drank two cups with delight, leaning against the kitchen counter. Then, he walked to the living room and went out to his car, after activating the alarm and locking the door.

Despite the hour, Adam, Junior and Tani were already gathered in front of the smart table, talking about Jerry and the report to HPD. Danny greeted them and kept walking. While entering his office, his phone rang a couple of times with Rachel's ringtone ... after hesitating for a second or two, he pressed the button to ignore the call and sighed. He sat heavily on the chair and leaned back, closing his eyes.

The phone rang again, but Danny ignored it two more times, finally answering it on the third call. "Hi Rach! ... listen, I can't talk now, I'm in the middle of something ... I'll call you back, later, okay?"

When the call ended, Danny felt guilty. Since he decided to resume his relationship with Rachel, they had spent most of their free time together, she had called him several times a day and they had lunch or dinner together two or three days a week. But today, with the restlessness accumulated by Steve's sudden trip and the uncertainty of not knowing what was happening with him, he simply didn't want to talk to her.

He stayed there, in his office, thinking ... When he looked at his watch, he was surprised to realize that three hours had passed. He felt a sudden headache, when he remembered that he had not eaten anything since he left Steve's house that morning. He got up and went to the small kitchen,  noticing that Tani had made coffee, he served a cup and unsuccessfully searched for something to eat. He settled for drinking coffee in small sips, absorbed in his thoughts.

A moment later, Lou's deep voice startled him, "Hey, Danny ..." noticing Danny's shock, Lou raised his hands and said in a reassuring voice, "Whoa! ... Easy, buddy, it's just me!"

"I'm sorry ..." Danny spoke in a trembling voice, "I was just thinking."

"Well, don't hurt yourself!" The captain said, laughing and recovering the slight tone. "And what were you thinking about? if it can be known." Danny shrugged, but he didn't answer. Lou frowned at the sudden sadness in his friend's eyes and asked, "Hey, by the way. Have you heard anything about Steve today? I called him a couple of times and he doesn't answer his phone."

Danny opened his eyes even more, remembering that he had not told the team anything about Steve's trip, "Yes, I'm sorry ... I forgot to tell you ... He called me last night... he said he'll be out of town for a few days".

"Is something wrong, Danny? Is Steve okay?" Lou asked, worried about the unplanned trip. "That's exactly what I asked him ..." disappointment in Danny's tone was palpable, "but, as usual, he didn't explain anything and told me everything was fine and that it would only be a couple of days." At that moment, they heard a traitor growling from his stomach.

"Hungry?" Lou asked, "Let's go and have lunch, man ... it's on me." Noticing that Danny hesitated to accept, Lou insisted, "Come on Danny, I know you miss your boy, but Steve will be fine and you starving won't bring him back sooner."

Danny nodded resignedly and got up, following Lou who was saying aloud to the other team members, "Guys, Danny and I are going to get something to eat. We'll be back soon".

The road to Kamekona's truck was silent. Lou drove his SUV, while Danny looked distractedly out the window at the large crowd of tourists walking along Kalakaua Avenue, as Lou turned onto Ala Moana Boulevard. When they arrived, Danny approached a table and sat down, while Lou bought lunch from a chattered Flippa, who kept talking about the benefits that his new bakery business would bring to both.

Dizzy with Flippa´s speech, Lou took the two plates with lemon and butter shrimps, two coconut waters and sat in front of Danny, who was watching a group of kids playing in the sand.

"Well ..." Lou said, trying to suppress his worry, "We're already sitting, we have lunch, now ... let it go, Danny. What's happening?"

Danny looked at him, trying to seem surprised by the question. He was already used to Lou's intuition, even so, he asked, "What are you talking about?"

Lou narrowed his eyes and asked again, "For real, Danny? Are we going to play this game? Come on, let it go ... What's the matter with you? "

Danny sighed, resigned. "It's Steve ..." Lou made his typical I-knew-the-whole-thing face, and Danny rolled his eyes, but still, he kept talking, "I don't know, Lou. Something's wrong ... he's quiet, depressed ... he looks ... sad."

Lou shook his head, trying to instill some peace into his friend and said, "He's worried, Danny, and he feels guilty because Jerry was hurt ... It's nothing new, man! It's the same every time someone of our team gets hurt ... He's just recovering from Joe's death, and as we both know, our boy is not very good at showing his feelings, so he bottles them and keeps them in a box." Noticing that Danny listened attentively, Lou continued, "I have spoken to him sometimes about this... If he doesn't talk about all this stuff, one day he'll explode and the result could be catastrophic... But you must give him some time, he'll talk to you when he's ready ... he trusts you more than anyone, he knows you've never lied to him."

Upon hearing the captain's last words, Danny felt a wave of guilt, and as a loop, all the conversation about the trip to Kauai, returned to his mind, torturing him mercilessly. 

* * *

_"Can I sit?” Danny asked._

_“_ _Course” Steve had tried to disguise his nervousness, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest._

 _“_ _All right. Uh… I may have, uh... I may have told you… uh… an untruth, when I said that I went to Jersey last week”. Danny stuttered a little, but he composed himself and went on._

_"An untruth… Is that any relation to a lie?” Steve frowned._

_“_ _You don't… you don't have to make it harder on me”_

_“I'm not, I'm not trying to do that”._

_“Well...”_

_“Okay, you didn't go to Jersey. Where did you take her?” The smile on Steve's face was more like a mask._

_“Uh, to Kauai… That's correct, it was with Rachel… Uh… we thought we should maybe go spend some time alone together… uh… without any death. You know, without kids”._

_“Yeah. How was it?”_

_“It was... it was nice”._

_“It was nice?”_

_“Mm-hmm. Nice”._

_“Anything else? Just...”_

_“Fun?”_

_“Fun?... Good! Nice and fun”._

_“Yeah”._

_“_ _Is that it?”_

_“That's all I got... I mean, what do you want, 50 Shades of Kauai?”_

_Steve felt uncomfortable with the literary reference, “Well, no, you gave me two shades”._

_“I'm just...”_

* * *

Danny realized that he had been silent for quite a long time, while Lou looked at him, as if guessing what was happening inside his head. Then, the captain nodded, almost imperceptibly, and asked, "What, Danny? What is it?"

Danny wasn't prepared to admit to Lou or anyone else, that he had done just that ... precisely what Steve thought his best friend would never do. He shook his head vigorously and said, "No ... it's nothing ... just, I ... No, it's nothing."

Lou put the fork on the table and looked at Danny with that expression he should address to his kids, when he knew they were lying to him. "Okay, Danny. I can't force you to tell me what is happening in that head of yours, but I'm here, okay? You know that, don't you? If you need to talk about it, I’ll be here."

"I know ... I ... thank you, buddy, I really do. Really ... I just have to clean my mind a little and clarify my ideas ... and... wait for Super SEAL to come back and talk to him to find out what the hell is going on."

 

* * *

Steve took a breath. The meeting and subsequent lunch had turned out well. Commander Lange had explained his plan to Steve meticulously. Giving him the smallest detail and repeating several times, the multiple benefits that Steve would get if he decided to reactivate himself and accepted that David recommend him for the job.

They had lunch in the dining room at the base, sitting at a table in the farthest corner. David made a couple of additional comments, hoping they would help his cause.

Steve noticed that, a few times, some SEALs who were eating at the adjacent tables, as well as some of the recruits who came to the dining room, looked at him intrigued and muttered. He felt uncomfortable, he had the feeling of having seen that expression before, but he couldn't find it among his memories. He looked back at David, hoping to get an explanation about the strange behavior he had seen in some guys, since his arrival at the base.

David smiled as he drank a sip of water, "They know who you are, buddy ..." he said simply, as if that phrase summed up the reasons for such strange behavior.

"What?" Steve asked, intrigued.

"Yes, my friend. You're kind of a legend around here. Some of our guys have followed your adventures with great interest. They know you are one of the best SEALs that have trained here and, let's say that some of the instructors, including myself, have reinforced that idea."

Suddenly, Steve remembered. It was exactly the same expression Junior had on his face the day they first met... that expression stayed there for the first few months ... It had been hard for Junior to give up that stiffness and see him more as a friend than as a kind of superhero. Smiling resigned, he said, "Yes ... Junior told me some things about that."

Upon hearing Junior's name, David's face lit up, "It's true... Junior! How's the boy, by the way?"

"Excellent!" Steve smiled again, "He's fine ... he's very enthusiastic and eager to do a good job. He has fit very well in Five-0."

"He's a great guy ..." David said, with a touch of nostalgia, "I really regretted that he transferred to the reserves, but it seems that he wasn't doing very well ... with his sister's death and all that."

Steve nodded sadly, "Yes ... We've all tried to help him get over it. But I must tell you man, honestly, I don't think that's the only issue that forced him to leave the active duty ... He doesn't say much, but I think there's a sad story there."

Both men got up and finished lunch. They walked together through the base, until they reached the parking lot, where Ensign Rodriguez was waiting for Steve, to take him back to the hotel. Both friends chatted as they walked under the shade of the trees and agreed to meet the next morning for Steve to witness one of the new training strategies he was implementing.

"I'll be here at 06:00," Steve promised. "But after lunch I have to leave. I want to take advantage of this trip and visit my sister in LA ... you know... play with my niece for a day or two, before returning to Hawaii."

"I'm sure they will enjoy that ... Listen, Steve ... please think about what we've been talking about," David said, in an almost pleading tone. "I think it will be good for you ... That job is right for you, buddy. Promise me that you will think about it. Remember we have until the end of the month to give an answer."

After making that promise, Steve got into the jeep and said goodbye to David with a wave of his hand and the first sincere smile that appeared on his face since the disastrous conversation with Danny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not familiar with military procedures and I do not know the Coronado naval base. Google maps is my source in this. Please excuse any inaccuracy.


	5. More realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are realizing, step by step, how they feel about each other. Please tell me what you think.  
> Enjoy reading.

Steve heard the unintelligible murmur of Ensign Rodriguez, not really understanding what the man was saying. He cursed himself, wondering... why the hell he thought about Danny again? The morning had gone well, he was even felt encouraged by the meeting and lunch with David. His mind was distracted enough and he had managed not to think about Danny and Rachel all morning. But once he got into the jeep, his ideas got tangled up again.

He forced himself to focus on what the Ensign was saying, "I'm sorry ... I was distracted," he shook his head, looking at the shy young man, who couldn't help but smile a little. "Don't worry, sir. I was asking if you want to go back to the hotel."

Steve nodded and the Ensign drove to the hotel in a silence that Steve thanked. A few minutes later, the jeep stopped in front of the hotel's main entrance. After assuring him that he would pick him up at 05:30 next morning, Rodriguez said goodbye to Steve and the jeep left.

He went up to his room and got into the bathroom; approaching the sink, he turned on the tap and wet his hands. The contact with cold water startled him. He soaked his face and neck to cool off, turned off the tap and looked at the mirror. He almost didn't recognize himself. Water dripped from his nose and chin, an unusual paleness bleached his face ... but what surprised him most were his eyes. They were sunken and reddened and their hazel green now looked gray. The mirror returned an empty look.

Without drying his face, he entered the room again. Slowly, he took his uniform off . He folded it carefully, placing it on the dressing table. Barefoot and wearing only his underwear, he opened the balcony doors and went out to look at the ocean and breathe in the breeze. The beach was infinite, covered with soft sand; the sea was blue and immense; a slight mist hung over the ocean, losing itself on the horizon and as he looked at it, Steve felt the hole in his chest grow.

In a distant time, he had spent a lot of time on that beach, forcing his limits on the countless torturous hours of his SEAL training, competing with each of the recruits in his class and forcing himself to go farther and farther ... pushing his body further than any human being would have never gone. He smiled sadly remembering Joe screaming, while he and his buddies lay on their backs with their elbows intertwined and received the waves hitting them mercilessly, as they shouted "Hoooyahhh!"

He dried the sudden tears that wet his lashes and shook his head as he sat on a chair. He couldn't understand this extreme sensitivity that had been so frequent on his mood, since he returned from Montana. Everything affected him so intensely, taking him to the edge of tears at the most unexpected moments... restraining himself was increasingly difficult.

Above all, he didn't get the exaggerated way he was reacting to Danny's news. It had been hard for him to suppress his anger when Danny admitted that he had lied to him. He felt betrayed ... but he didn't understand why.

In the past, he had suppressed a slight discomfort about Danny's relationship with Gabby and Melissa, but he had learned to live with that and told himself that it was because of his concern that his friend might feel hurt again.

He had even encouraged Danny to move forward in both relationships ... and if he was honest with himself, he had felt a mild and inexplicable joy when Danny finished each of them and overcame the aftermath.

He tried to understand his overreaction to Danny's new decision, in relation to his romantic life. He analyzed what he felt ... thinking about Danny in Rachel's arms caused a deep pain traveling through his body, from his arms and legs, to concentrate on his heart and stir his stomach.

Surprise hit him, when he realized that what he felt ... that irrepressible anger mixed with an infinite sadness... that feeling had a name. Steve had never experienced it before. Now, he identified it with painful clarity. It was jealousy ... Huge, furious and exhausting jealousy.

He could hear his own bitter laugh, with which he mocked himself. He had always thought that the expression _broken heart_   was a simple metaphor ... until now ... At that moment he felt like that pain ... a physical and real pain. It was hurting every inch of his body, concentrating on his chest, to explode in a sob. How the hell had this happened?

This realization made him rethink, during a slow and painful minute, everything he knew about himself until that day. This couldn't be happening, could it? It had never occurred to him that what he felt for Danny was more than the best friendship of his life. It was just that, right? The most real, pure and complete friendship.

Confusion clouded his mind. He had to repress what he felt or he would go crazy. He rehearsed his well-learned process of bottling emotions ... but it didn't work this time. The pain persisted and sprouted from the inside out, making his skin burn, his breathing shake and his heart speed up in an unmistakable panic attack.

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his thighs and doing some combat breaths, feeling the air go deep into his lungs, holding it for a few seconds and then slowly exhaling it, trying to make that violent and heartbreaking feeling that broke him inside, escape with that air and dissolve in the breeze.

After a couple of minutes, he calmed down enough. His breathing was more regular and his heart rate had been significantly reduced. He dried his sweaty palms on the fabric of his boxers and got up, entering the room again, just as his phone rang.

He walked over to the bedside table and picked up the phone looking at the screen. Grace's smile greeted him. He clicked the button and brought his trembling hand to his ear. "Hey, Gracie!" He said, trying not to let the tone of his voice reflect his mood.

"Hello, Uncle Steve ... Danno told me you'd be out of town for a few days. Do you have a minute? Can you talk?" Grace's voice sounded strange, but Steve couldn't identify why.

"I always have time for you, honey. How are you? " He said, as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Grace hesitated for a moment, but finally said, "I don't know ... upset, I guess."

Instantly, Steve worried, "Why? Something happened? What's going on, Gracie?"

She began to explain, "I just got home ... Dad called me this morning ... he wanted me to meet him and mom after lunch ... Uncle Steve, this is horrible!"

Steve frowned, not quite understanding what was going on, "What's horrible, Gracie?" He heard her cough and clearing her throat, before she said softly, "Danno and mom are together again."

This time, Steve wasn't able to prevent the disappointment from seeping into his voice, "Yes ... I know ..." he said simply. After a brief pause he spoke again, "Danno told me ... But I thought it would be good news for you and Charlie."

Grace sighed and Steve could imagine her rolling her eyes as she said, "In what universe would it be good news, Uncle Steve? They don't work together and you know ... There have been too many issues between them, they have hurt each other so many times, so that a romance is impossible at this point... You get it, right?"

For a couple of minutes, the line fell silent, while Steve thought about what he should say to Grace. He decided he didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't tell her about his newly discovered feelings either. Grace's voice sounded worried, "Hello? ... Uncle Steve? … Are you there?"

Now it was Steve's turn to clear his throat, "Yes, Gracie ... I'm here."

"And you're not going to tell me anything?" She asked, losing patience.

Steve said cautiously, "Listen, Gracie ... I totally agree with you, but ..."

"But what, Uncle Steve? ... We have to do something, because those two together are a sure recipe for disaster."

Steve said sadly, "Gracie, listen to me ... I'm afraid we can't do anything, but support Danno. If he believes this is the best thing for him, for your mom and for you two guys... we should be there for him."

"I don't think so..." Grace said with a conviction that surprised Steve, while he realized this was not that little girl he knew, but a very intelligent young woman. Grace continued, "I'm worried ... I'm going to college in a few weeks and I think they'll need a referee if they decide to live together again ... Uncle Steve ... they're going to kill each other!"

Steve couldn't help but laugh at Grace's dramatic statement ... she was definitely her father's daughter. "Don't exaggerate, honey..." he finally said. "I don't think Danno makes that decision so lightly. Surely he has thought about it a lot and he believes this is the best thing to do to have his family back together. "

While trying to reassure Grace, Steve tried to listen to his own words and calm down. He also thought that the possibility that Danny had fallen in love with Rachel again was just a terrible tragedy.

Grace cut the thread of his thought when she said, "I need you to talk to Danno, Uncle Steve ... please try to convince him this is a bad idea."

As if Grace could see him at that moment, Steve shook his head as he said, "I already tried, Gracie ... but I also told him that if he really was convinced that this is what he want, I'll have his back."

"Uncle Steve ... That's typical you ..." she said in an exasperated voice, "I don't know if I must be angry with you or thank you for being such a good friend ..."

He thought bitterly: _'A good friend ... that's me!'_ , but he forced himself to say, "That's what I'm doing, Gracie ... even if I don't like his decision, I must accept it and be his backup, as always." A fleeting thought crossed his mind when he asked, "Wait a minute! Did you tell Danno everything you're telling me?"

She sighed and said, "Mmm ... No ... and before you tell me anything, I'll tell you why. They were together when they told me and I think this is something I should talk to Danno alone ... There are many things I don't like about my mother, Uncle Steve. I'm still mad at her for how much she hurt Danno in the past and why she didn't tell him Charlie was his son ... But I can't talk to her about this. I've never been able to talk to her like I do with Danno."

"Okay, Gracie ... Do that," Steve said, "I think you should be honest with your father and tell him how you feel about the whole thing... but I want you to make me a promise."

"What?" She asked shortly.

"I want you to promise me that, if despite telling Danno why you think this is a bad idea, he decides to continue with all this, you will support him ... You're the most important person in his life, Gracie. You've always been ... and it will destroy him to think you are angry with him, because his choice on the person he wishes to share the rest of his life with."

She hesitated for a few seconds and said, "I promise, Uncle Steve. I love Danno and he'll always have my support ... But I want you to also promise me something ... "

"What is that, Gracie?"

"I need you to promise me that, when the bomb explodes ... because it will explode, you can be sure of that. You'll be there to pick up the pieces ... just like before."

"I promise, Gracie. I'll always be there for him. You know that." Steve answered, but silently, he asked himself if he would be able to keep that promise.

When the call ended, Steve stayed there, sitting on the bed with his eyes lost for some time. He looked at the screen of the phone he was holding firmly in his hands, almost squeezing it. He noticed it was barely 5:00 p.m. He felt tired, but he knew it was impossible for him to try to sleep now. His hands and feet tingled and he thought he must do something to release some of the tension that he was building up. He got up and dressed in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and went out to run.

 

* * *

 

 

Danny and Lou finished their lunch in silence, slowly drinking their coconut water. Suddenly, Danny remembered something and looked at his watch. "We have to go ..." he said suddenly, before Lou's astonished gaze. The captain asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing ... it's just I have to see Grace and Rachel ... Can you drop me off at the shopping mall?"

Lou nodded and said, "Of course."

Both men got up, walking to the SUV and a few minutes later, Lou stepped on the brakes in front of Ala Moana Shopping Mall, Danny smiled and thank Lou in silence. "I'll see you later, buddy," he said goodbye and got out of the car.

As he crossed the street to enter the mall, he remembered the brief call to Grace, at some point in the midst of his emotional lethargy, that morning.

* * *

_After finishing Rachel's call, Danny stayed there ... thinking. His gaze focused on an indefinite point of the doors of his office ... He wished, for a moment, that Steve entered through the corridor, walking casually, stopping right there and opening his door to make one of his usual jokes ... He looked at the phone and clicked the speed dial to call Grace. It was time to talk to her about the news._

* * *

 

An hour later, Danny went through the glass doors of the headquarters and approached Adam, who was working on the smart table.

Adam looked up and smiled when he saw Danny, "Hey. How was lunch? "

"Fine... until I had to meet Rachel and Grace at the mall." Danny replied with a snort.

"Why? What's going on?" Adam asked casually.

"Nothing ... you know how teenagers are ..." he said in an evasive answer and then focused on the smart table and asked, "Do we have a case?"

"Indeed, yes ... Lou and Tani are already on the scene ..." Adam explained the situation to Danny, while Junior left his office and joined them.

A few minutes later, Danny and Junior went up to the Camaro, to go to the home of the victim's wife. Danny drove quietly thinking of Grace's strange reaction to the news.

* * *

_"... So we've decided to try again." Rachel had finished her explanation, while Danny looked at his daughter in silence, hoping to notice something ... some emotion or reaction ... but there was nothing. Somehow, he had expected Grace to be happy about the fact that her parents were together again._

_The three of them were sitting at a table, drinking smoothies. Trying to find out what her daughter was thinking, Danny moved his hand on the table to gently take Grace's and said tentatively, "So ... Monkey ... What do you think?"_

_Grace looked at Danny and Rachel alternately. They both smiled, but they looked strange ... almost hesitant. She stuttered her answer, "Mmmm ... I don't know ... I guess I have to get used to the idea."_

_"Wow!" Danny said, "Not that I expected you to burst into hysterical crying or something ... but ..."_

_"Jesus, dad! Give me a break! would you? " Grace breathed hard and raised her voice a bit. Then she went back to his usual tone and tried to force a half smile, "Listen ... I know you've spent some time together and you're getting along ... I guess that's good ... Look ... I just need to think a bit about the matter, that's all. I suppose if you guys are happy, Charlie and I will be too. "_

_And that was it…_

* * *

 

The ringtone on Junior's phone brought him back to the present. The guy answered, "Junior Reigns..." a couple of seconds later, he said with a smile, "Hey, buddy! It's been a while…"

Danny supposed that Junior's interlocutor was talking, because the boy was silent for a while, then heard him saying, "I don't know ... I mean, I didn't know he was gone ... Did he seem okay? ... I mean, did he look serious, like he was in trouble?"

Another pause ... Then Junior said, "Well, thank you buddy! ... Listen, now I'm in the middle of something, but I'll call you tonight and we'll catch up, okay? ... Okay, Thanks man…"

After finishing the call, Junior looked at Danny in silence for a minute, until the moment became awkward. Danny frowned and asked "What? … What is it?"

Junior told him, trying to find the exact words so Danny wouldn't go into alarm, "That one he called was a former SEAL buddy, an old friend," he said tentatively, noticing Danny's intrigued expression, then he asked, "Did you know Steve is in Coronado? "

For the rest of the afternoon, Danny was distracted. They talked to the victim's wife, but it was Junior who led the interview and Danny listened quietly most of the time. Now he was really worried ... In the car, Junior had told him that one of his former SEAL colleagues had seen Steve at Coronado Naval Base.

Junes had been told that Commander McGarrett was wearing his camo uniform and that he had spent the whole morning with another Commander of the base ... He tried unsuccessfully to remember the name Junior had told him. Junior's buddy couldn't say what McGarrett was doing at the base, but it seemed that he and the other commander were in the middle of something serious.

When he got home, the tenth wave of concern ran through his body. What the hell was going on? He looked at his watch and picked up his phone, writing a text message with his clumsy thumbs.

* * *

Concentrated on the pounding of his running shoes on the sand, Steve kept thinking ... trying to put everything in order inside his mind. The sound of the waves and the breeze, along with his breathing agitated by the effort, helped to calm his temper. He knew he had run more than his usual distance, because he felt tired.

He stopped his running and began to walk at a slow pace, to relax the muscles in his legs. For a moment he concentrated on his breathing, as he leaned forward and rested the hands on his thighs. When his heart and breathing rhythm normalized, he looked again towards the sea. Some fluffy white clouds reflected on the changing surface of the water ... In the distance, other clouds, dark and heavy ... a bright ray illuminated a distant point, lost a few miles out to sea, the rain would take a while longer.

He sat on the ground, taking off his sneakers and burying his toes in the sand, then he put his arms around his knees, without taking his eyes off the ocean and stayed there ... There was something else that disturbed him ... During the exercise he thought about it again and again. It was something that had happened before, but it had been exacerbated since Joe's death.

He and Danny had always been physical with each other. Since they first met, they completely ignored each other's personal space, touching each other continuously. He often put his arm around his partner's shoulder ... that had been normal between them. Danny used to touch him all the time ... a pat on the back, Danny's hand pressing his forearm to accent an argument ... and the hugs ... Hugging Danny had always been comforting ... until now.

To say he was confused now was an understatement... No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand the new reactions his body experienced to Danny's frequent touches. With minimal contact, his skin reacted as if it were being bitten by a million small needles ... the electric discharge ran down his spine with the simple closeness or presence of his friend.

But this was new ... wasn't it? ... it happened for the first time a few weeks ago ... Danny hugged him at Grace's welcome party, after her car accident. He felt shaky ... his knees weakened and, in the middle of the hug, Steve repressed a sigh. When Danny noticed, he had moved away from him and asked Steve, worried, if he was okay ... He had nodded silently and said he was just tired ... Big… huge lie.

It was a while after the sun had hidden on the horizon. Steve straightened his numb legs and stood up. Barefoot, he walked on the sand to the water's edge ... the waves soaked intermittently the skin of his feet and ankles. The breeze blew and lightly waved his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed, until a few drops of water, big and thick, hit his face.

A few minutes later, he picked up his shoes and socks and ran barefoot on the sand, towards the hotel. His whole body ached with that pleasant and indefinable pain that the exercise always caused him. Upon entering his room, he walked directly to the shower.

He stayed for a while under the powerful stream of water that hit his back and slid smoothly over his skin ... For a moment, he wished that all his tension and confusion left his body, dragged by the water, and went down the drain ... He just wanted to have a moment of peace.

After drying his body with one of those incredibly fluffy and immaculate towels, he went out to the bed, which attracted him just like the flames attract the insects ... He felt exhausted.

He dropped the towel on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. He programmed the alarm on his phone and realized he had a text message from Danny.

"Hey buddy ... How are you? I've not heard from you ... remember my threat!"

"Hi ..." Steve began to type his answer, but stopped because he simply didn't know what to say. Finally he decided for something safe, "How's everything over there? Is there a case? "

In his mind, he clearly could see the way Danny rolled his eyes, while the answer came ... "Yes ... but we got this, don't worry. What's up? Where are you?"

"Everything is fine, Danno. I'll be back in a couple of days."

Steve waited for an answer for a couple of minutes, then he typed again, "I must go ... I'll see you soon."

Danny's response was short, but Steve could notice his partner's anger, "OK. See you"

He removed the quilt and lay down, naked, under the fresh sheets, leaning his head on the soft pillow. He felt overwhelmed by physical, mental and emotional exhaustion ... He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.


	6. Enlightening moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the people close to our boys, try to convince them not to make wrong decisions. Will they listen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is turning out to be heartbreaking, with much anguish. But the light shines at the end of the tunnel. Please hang in there!  
> Enjoy reading

The persistent sound of the alarm woke him up at 05:00 am, surprised by the first full night of sleep he had in a long... long time, Steve straightened on the bed and ran his hand down his face.

He was surprised by the absence of nightmares and how rested he felt. The previous afternoon had been a maelstrom of feelings and realizations, so he had almost resigned himself to one more night of insomnia and thoughts fluttering through his mind.

On his way to the bathroom he evaluated these new feelings. He definitely didn't feel better, he was pouring sadness from every pore of his skin and his stomach churned when he thought about Danny, but... The fact that he finally defined his feelings and identified the real problem, allowed him to draw up a plan of action... Danny had decided on the course of his life from now on and Steve would have to do the same.

Now it was time to come up with a plan to live without Danny... He didn't think that was possible if he stayed in Hawaii. It would be too painful to see his partner happy in his renewed relationship with Rachel... to imagine Danny kissing her, making love with her, spending his time and waking up to her side... No. That would be too much. If Steve wanted to survive and overcome Danny... and not die trying, he had to go away. He shoud start a new life in another place.

Under the spray of the shower, David's offer began to look more attractive... It's not that moving to Coronado was the ideal solution; but it wasn't as bad as it looked... He'll be promoted to Commander, he'll end his military career to retiring on his own terms, preventing the Navy from discharging him for medical reasons; something that, given his health issues, would happen sooner or later; a part of him was surprised that it had not happened before. When the time came, he wanted his retirement ceremony and his full benefits. His career in the Navy had always made him feel proud... proud of his achievements and of having served his country with valor and dignity. David was right... this was a great opportunity.

At that moment, he deliberately avoided thinking about what he would leave behind, if he left Hawaii. He tried to see the commission in Coronado as his lifeline.

As a plus, he would be closer to Mary and Joan. They were the only family he had now and he wanted to spend time with them before it was too late. He made a mental reminder to talk to Mary about this later that afternoon.

* * *

**At that time, more than 2500 miles away ...**

Danny opened his eyes suddenly. The darkness surrounded him... A darkness that crushed his eyes and suffocated him... He couldn't breathe and sweated profusely. Panicking, he sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard, trying to calm himself. He looked at his watch in frustration... it was barely 2 am. A warm body moved by his side.

Rachel turned to ask him, her voice hoarse from sleep, "What's wrong, Danny? You're good?"

Danny whispered, "I'm fine... go back to sleep."

She placed her hand seductively, on Danny's thigh, stroking underneath the shorts and said in a soft voice, "If you can't sleep... Maybe I have something that could help you".

He sighed... took Rachel's hand and kissed it, placing it back, this time, on the empty space between them. He didn't feel in the right mood, but he didn't want to hurt her. "Go back to sleep, Rachel. We have to get up in a couple of hours and you need to rest." Danny got up and walked to the bathroom without turning on the light and wishing that, when he was back, Rachel would be asleep again.

When he finished, he didn't go back to the bedroom, fearing that Rachel was awake, waiting for him. He went down to the living room and sat cross-legged on the couch with the phone in his hands. He checked the text messages from the previous afternoon, sighing... Damn it! Steve was in Coronado and he didn't tell anything about that.

He looked at his watch again, making some quick calculations, wanting to catch Steve before he went out to do... whatever he had to do. Clicked the speed dial. One... two... three tones... Steve was probably asleep. Danny was about to finish the call, when he heard his friend's voice, "Hello? ..."

* * *

Steve came out of the bathroom, wrapping the towel around his waist. His phone vibrated on the night table. He came over and took it, looking at Danny's face on the screen. He hesitated for a second or two, but in the fifth tone, he decided to answer. "Hello…"

"Hey... I'm sorry if I woke you up... I know it's early." Danny's voice was low, almost whispering.

"Good morning to you too, Daniel... or should I say good night?... Hell, Danny, why are you awake at this hour?" Steve asked, without waiting for an answer, he said, in response to Danny's apology, "I... I wasn't asleep... I'm actually getting out of the shower."

"I should have known... Super SEAL and his strange routines..." For a moment, Danny wanted to make one of his usual jokes, trying to lighten the tension that was been evident between them for a while.

Steve frowned, worried, "Danny, are you okay? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?"

"I'm fine... I just... I didn't like the way I left things yesterday... I guess what you're doing is important and I don't want to be... Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I should have told you why I sent you that message."

Uneasiness grew in Steve's chest, "Was there a reason, Danny?" He asked, "I thought it was because you wanted to know how I'm doing."

Danny cleared his throat and said, "Yes... mostly, it was the reason... but..."

"Danny, I'm in a bit of a hurry here. If you need to say something, just say it, okay?"

Fine... Danny thought. There was only one way to ask, so he did, "Steve... What are you doing in Coronado?"

Steve hesitated for a moment, "How do you know?... Danny, did you track my phone? Why would you do that? I told you I'd call you, as soon as I had solved some... things."

"Heeey!..." Danny raised his voice for a moment, but then he whispered again, "Stop for a second, Steve! I didn't track your phone. Junior received a call... from one former SEAL partner. Yesterday, his friend saw you at the Naval Base in Coronado. The guy recognized you and called Junior... I just... I wonder why didn't you tell me?"

Steve dropped the towel on the floor and sat on the bed, "I told you, Danny! I needed to do some Procedures for the Navy..." Steve looked at his watch, he should be at the hotel's main door in ten minutes. "Listen, Danny... I can't do this now... I have to go..."

Danny was silent for a few seconds and then he said in a hesitant, sad voice, "All right... listen... can you... Can you call me later?"

Danny could hear Steve's deep sigh and his hoarse voice, "I'll call you as soon as I can, okay? But I don't know what time that will be... Is that okay?"

Danny answered almost immediately, "Never mind the time, Steve... I think we need to talk..."

"Okay... I'll call you later." Steve answered and ended the call.

As he dressed quickly in his uniform, he asked himself, frustrated. Why did Danny have to make things so difficult? Exactly at 5:30, Steve got into the jeep driven by Ensign Rodriguez and both went to the base.

* * *

After finishing the call, Danny stayed there for a while, his eyes lost and feeling strangely sore. He had wanted to clear things up with Steve and everything turned out worse... his friend felt harassed and, naturally, he had got angry with him. Danny sighed frustrated, closed his eyes and leaned on the back of the couch, while saying in a low voice... "Damn it, Steve! I don't know what to do!... Please tell me what to do, because I don't know what I want or what I feel!" He didn't notice the silhouette that was standing at the end of the stairs, hidden in the darkness.

Silently, Rachel went upstairs again and lay down on the bed. A couple of tears slid down her cheeks, as she covered her body with the sheets, closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

* * *

Steve had experienced the most strict training program in the U.S. armed forces, perhaps one of the most severe in the world. That's why the SEAL Team is an elite group. The best among the best.

The training day impressed him. David and his team were developing new strategies and techniques to push recruits even further. This class had just finished the Hell Week and David had managed to gather a promising group of new SEALs. In the bottom of his mind, Steve wished he was part of this... Supervising the training of the new boys was a good way to continue serving his country and David told him he was the best man for the job. He just hoped to fill the expectations.

After lunch, Steve and David walked to the parking lot. When they were next to the jeep, both friends hugged each other with affection. "Promise me you'll think about it..." David told him as he said goodbye.

"I will, buddy... trust me, I'll think about it." Steve answered and David didn't know how to read the intention in his words.

"Say hello to your sister for me, will you? The rental car will be at the hotel at 15:00. Don't forget, the plane to Honolulu departs tomorrow from the base at 20:00. Just leave the car in the parking lot and I'll take care of everything, okay?"

Steve nodded and shook David's hand, saying goodbye, "Mahalo, brother... I'll call you soon."

Ten minutes later, Steve got out of the jeep, for the last time, in front of the hotel's main entrance. "Okay... Ensign Rodriguez, thanks for everything." he said.

"It was my privilege, sir" the young sailor replied, put his right hand in front of his head in a military salute, and stepped lightly on the accelerator pedal, moving away.

* * *

Steve felt the air shaking his hair and drying the last tears, while driving the convertible Mercedes Benz that David had rented for him. God! He was so tired of feeling depressed! He tried to enjoy the 120-mile route along the highway, from San Diego to LA, while his mind made plans... He had to organize everything carefully, put together the entire operation, to not to leave loose ends.

First: Talk to Mary... Steve had to make sure his sister was on board with the plan... He didn't want to invade her privacy, but he desperately wanted to be part of her life... He didn't want to be alone anymore... He didn't want to die alone... he couldn't stand it.

Second, Five-0: Danny would lead the task force, surely Lou would be his partner. During the last year, Steve made sure that Tani and Junior worked well together and trained them, knowing and taking advantage or their skills. Adam was there now and Jerry would still be in charge of the Intel. Five-0 was ready to go without him. He tried not to think about the reactions of the team members when he resigned as team leader.

Third: He should find someone to take care of the house... He was hoping Junior wanted to do it. For a moment, he considered selling it... but it was full of memories... some joyful, other tragic. He smiled sadly remembering Danny when he told him his house was full of ghosts.

Fourth: A few years ago, he had set up a trust fund to help Danny with Grace and Charlie's college expenses. The time had come for Gracie, Steve should talk to his lawyer about this and make sure that those funds were transferred to Danny's bank account.

Fifth: Nahele! In the midst of the mess that had been his life in recent months, his concern for the hawaiian boy had been in his mind all along. Nahele was about to finish high school and would have to decide what he would like to do next. Steve wanted him to go to college, but he didn't want to force him. He had also established a fund for Nahele's future. He knew he was a kind of father figure or something for the boy and he had to make sure the kid will have everything he needed, once Steve had left... Kamekona was good people, thanks to him Nahele had a job and in the foster home they loved the boy. But Nahele would need someone to turn to when he had a problem or needed any advice... Maybe Lou would like to help with that.

The car was devouring miles while the mental list grew up... Steve made plans for each member of his extended _Ohana_. That concern for the wellness of everyone he would leave behind, was something new for him. The last time he was at a crossroads like this, he was only 16; his mother had just died (o so he believed) and his father had sent him away to solve things on his own and to become a man. It was easy to assume that he would feel more confident... safer now, twenty-six years later, right? He asked himself why he didn't. Why did he feel the same tightness in his chest that didn't let him breathe and tear his heart into small pieces?... Suddenly, he felt very old...

* * *

The wave of memories invaded him when he turned left and Aunt Deb's house greeted him. The garden was as beautiful as always... the flower vine completely covered the white wooden fence and the small stone fountain was still there, in the middle of the garden, reminding him he was arriving to the house that had been his only link with his broken family, in the few occasions in which, a temporary license of the Navy, or to spend some brief holidays, he came here to visit Aunt Deb.

The front door opened and Mary ran out with her arms outstretched, screaming, "Finally! my brother comes to visit!" Joannie ran after her mother, intrigued by the commotion.

Steve turned off the engine and got out of the car, to wrap his sister in an endearing hug, while listening to Mary's tirade, "When you told me you were coming, I couldn't believe it. Do you realize this is the first time you come to this place in... how long?... fifteen years?"

Steve's eyes filled again, furious with himself, he suppressed the tears, but his intuitive sister moved momentarily away from him and scrutinized his face, worried about his swollen and reddened eyes. "Hey... What's wrong?" Mary asked, frowning and with concern reflected in her brown eyes.

Not wanting to break the hug, he tightened his arms around her waist and sighed, "I missed you Mary... I know we saw each other a few weeks ago, but I really missed you."

Steve felt a couple of small arms that surrounded his right leg. He let Mary go and bent down to pick up Joan. "God, Joannie, you're enormous!" The girl laughed cheerfully, while he twirled her in the air, waving her blond hair. He placed his niece on his hip, while he wrapped his other arm around Mary's shoulders.

They both entered the house. The memory gates opened suddenly, while Steve bent down and left Joan on the floor. Each corner had Aunt Deb's latent presence: The photographs on the walls and in small frames placed on macramé tablecloths on every shelf, told the story of Mary's childhood and, more recently, Joannie's. Steve walked to a bookcase, where there were numerous wooden frames with pictures of him... he took them in his hands... his graduation from the Army - Navy Academy... Annapolis... He, in his full dress blue, the day he got his trident... Aunt Deb had been taking care of him, all the time...

A photograph, placed on the top shelf, caught his eye. Deb and Leonard on their wedding day...  In the picture, a smiling Steve had his arm over Deb's shoulder and Danny was next to Leonard. His partner had some less wrinkles around his eyes, but his smile was the same... open and candid... a smile that reached his eyes and illuminated everything around him. God! Steve loved that smile.

Surprised by his last thought, Steve quickly put the frame back in its place... as if the dark wood surrounding the image burned his fingers. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Mary, who looked at him with hawk eyes. He really was fucked!"

* * *

The day didn't start very well for Danny ... A silent Rachel left the bedroom and hurried with the task to take Charlie to school. Danny went into the kitchen while she prepared the kid's lunch and turned on the coffeemaker, Rachel was nervous and thoughtful. He rubbed his eyes with his right hand, as he went to the shelf and took a cup to fill it with strong, steaming coffee. When he inhaled the aroma with delight, before drinking the first sip, Danny noticed her.

She looked dull... like... sad. Intrigued, Danny placed the cup on the table and approached Rachel, placing his hand on her arm in a loving gesture. "Hey... are you okay?"

Without looking back at him, she nodded and said, "I'm fine... I just didn't sleep very much... after you left."

Danny cleared his throat and said, "Yes... I'm sorry about that. I didn't want to wake you up, it's insomnia... you know? When I can't sleep, I'm very restless... That's why I stayed on the couch, I didn't want to bother you."

"You didn't, don't worry..." was Rachel's simple answer.

The conversation was interrupted by Charlie's sudden entry. The kid sat down at the table and ate his breakfast loudly, while talking to Danny about the school, his friends and the children's baseball team.

Fifteen minutes later, a restless Charlie hugged Danny and ran to get into the backseat of his mother's car. She secured the boy's safety belt and climbed into the driver's seat, waving goodbye to Danny.

As he closed the door, Danny grinned when he saw Grace, half asleep with her hair wild, who left her bedroom and walked to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, avidly drinking half of its contents, before looking at Danny and saying, "Morning, Danno."

"Good morning, Monkey! Do you want breakfast?" Danny tried to sound casual, as he entered the kitchen and approached the stove. He pulled a frying pan from the bottom shelf and placed it noisily on the metal grate. "Eggs or pancakes?" He asked.

She suppressed a yawn and said, "I'll just eat some fruit, thanks." She sat on one of the chairs and took an apple from the fruit bowl. The conversation with Uncle Steve resonated in her memory. She looked at his father as she bit the apple, thinking about how to deal with the thorny subject.

"Listen, Danno... I..." She began to speak, hesitantly. "I... I wanted to talk to you about something."

Danny put the spoon he held in his hand, back on the counter, and turned to look at his daughter. He walked and sat in front of her. "Talk about what?"

"About this matter of you and mom... about you two getting back together and all that thing..." She sounded hesitant, as if afraid of hurting Danny's feelings. But, at the same time, she was determined to say what she thought about it and try to dissuade him before it was too late.

Danny focused his attention on his beautiful girl and said, "I'm listening, Monkey."

"Look... It's not that I'm not happy for you... If only..." She twisted her hands; Danny just raised his eyebrows, prompting her to continue, "If only I could be sure you'll be happy..."

"We will be, Grace. All of us. Our family will be united again." Danny spoke with a conviction that, since the day before, he was very far from feeling. He wasn't convinced that this was true anymore. Steve and his stupid and sudden trip!... He had put everything in a new perspective. But... No. He couldn't retract. He was sure... Okay, not so sure... but he thought it was the right move... for his children.

"Danno... you don't love each other!" She said bluntly, cleared her throat and continued, "You do this because you think it's the right thing to do, but it's not."

Danny frowned, trying to keep calm, "Why do you think that, Monkey?"

"Oh! Come on Danno! don't play with me. Don't forget I was there... The divorce... Charlie and Step-Stan..." she breathed, trying to calm down. "You and Mom couldn't be in the same room without a terrible fight." She took another bite of the apple and waited.

Danny replied, "But now, everything has changed, Grace. Your mother and I get along better and we can have a stable home. A loving family... the four of us."

"Listen dad..." Danny shuddered to hear her call him dad... It didn't augur nothing good. She continued, "It's your choice if you decide to deceive yourself, thinking this is enough to decide to spend the rest of your life with someone... But please don't take me and Charlie as a pretext to justify yourself... because that's the wrong reason."

She got up from the chair and walked to sit down again in the chair closest to Danny. She took his father's hands on hers and said, "You have to think about yourself, Danno and what you feel and what you really want... And this is not what you want. You're in love with someone else..."

He looked up to meet his daughter's eyes, which shone with absolute conviction. He frowned and asked, confused, "What...? What are you talking about?"

She got up and kissed lovingly Danny's forehead, talking to him like a kindergarten teacher would talk to one of her students, "Maybe you haven't noticed yet... but your heart belongs to someone else..."

"Who are you talking about?" Danny insisted.

"You have to find out by yourself... Listen... all I ask is you think about it... If things don't work, not only you and mom will be hurt... there are other people, Charlie and I, and... someone else, who will be hurt if, after all the time lost and all the new wounds, you realize, too late, that this wasn't a good idea." She ran her thumb over Danny's damp lashes, as she said, "Listen... I already told you what I think about this... It's on you, and I'll support you... no matter what happens next, okay?" He nodded in silence, surprised, once again, by the disturbing maturity of his daughter... A few seconds later, she kissed Danny's cheek and left the kitchen, leaving his father with more questions than answers.

* * *

Dinner had been nice... Sensing her brother's mood, Mary had chatted all the time... about Joan and school... about her new boyfriend... about her job. All in order to cheer him up. He had smiled, but his smile was fake, empty.

Joan had fallen asleep in Steve's lap, he was holding her with his right arm and gently stroking her hair with his left hand, watching her, spellbound. After an awkward pause, Mary got up to take her daughter and said, "I'll take her to bed..."

But Steve got up, holding Joan in his arms and said, "No. I'll put her in bed... Why don't you bring another couple of beers?... There's something I want to talk to you about."

Without saying anything else, Mary entered the kitchen, while Steve climbed the stairs and placed Joan on her bed. He sat beside her, in the half-light that filled the room, stroking her blond hair. Then he leaned over and turned on the tiny night lamp and got up. But he stood there, looking sadly at the little bundle covered by the blankets.

Mary stood by the door and looked at her brother and daughter, while thinking, _"He would be a great father!"_ She couldn't suppress a smile, when Steve turned and looked at her as if he had been surprised by the hand inside the cookie jar.

They both left the bedroom and went downstairs again, sitting facing each other in the living room. "Okay... spit it out," Mary said.

"Uh ... I wanted to talk to you about something..." Steve said, while looking attentively at his hands and avoiding facing the inquisitive look of his sister.

"Yes..." Mary said, "You already said that... What's going on, Steve? Is something wrong?..." Suddenly, her gaze was horrified and she put her hands to her mouth, imagining the worst. Only something like this could have forced his brother to make this unplanned visit, right? Fearful, she asked... "Steve... Are you sick?"

Finally, he looked at her, frowning, "No! What are you talking about? Where does it come from?"

She felt a slight relief and said, "Well... you can't blame me. It's unlike you, to make this kind of unplanned family visits... All right. If this is not about your health, what is it about?"

He got up and started walking around the room, as he began to explain, "A few days ago, I received a letter from a friend of mine, a buddy from the Navy..." He paused for a second and continued speaking, "He offers me a commission... to supervise the training of all SEAL Teams at the Coronado Naval Base."

"Wait a moment..." Mary said, raising her hands. "This would mean you would have to move to the base, right? You would leave Hawaii and Five-0..." He nodded silently.

She shook her head, "I don't understand, Steve. Why would you do something like that?"

"It's a great opportunity, Mare ... This commission is important and I'll be promoted to Commander. I can finish my Naval career just as I wanted... Serving my country... Because of my medical condition, I can no longer do it in combat or be deployed with the teams again. But it's my chance to do something for those guys... train new SEALs that serve with valor and distinction. "

She looked in his eyes, trying to discover if there was more than the beautiful speech with which he wanted to convince himself, more than her... after a brief silence, he asked, "You mean... Are you really thinking, in doing this?"

"Yes, Mare... I am" Steve answered in a firm voice.

"But... What about Five-0? You've told me many times Five-0 is your legacy, Steve. Why this change?"

He shrugged and said, "It's still my legacy, Mary. Danny and I built Five-0 from nothing. At the beginning, we were only four guys... But Chin and Kono left and they looked for a way to continue with their lives. The unit now has more members, Tani and Junior are fantastic, Lou has been a great mentor to them and they are ready, now we have Adam and Jerry is an incredible asset... the team is finally consolidated... They don't need me anymore, and I have to think what's next for me too... I should think about my life. This job... would allow me to be close to you and Joannie... I mean, think about it. We would be a couple of hours away... Mary, listen to me. You’re all the family I have and I want to spend more time with you."

Mary was silent for a while, looking at Steve sitting back on the couch, resting his elbows on his thighs and looking at her with a strange expression... looking sad.

A couple of minutes later, she spoke again, "What about Danny?"

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath... Here there was the question he had feared for the last few days. He answered in a whisper, "He has other plans..."

Sensing that the matter had much more to do with Danny than with a successful end to his brother's naval career, Mary got up from the armchair and sat down slowly on the couch, next to Steve. She put her hand on his chin and forced him to raise his face. "What are you talking about? What plans?"

He looked at her and bravely held the inquisitive look that came out of Mary's eyes and pierced into the very depths of his mind... he decided to tell her the whole truth. "He and Rachel are together again... they will live together, maybe they will get married again."

"Oh!..." Mary said, simply, as if that summed up the whole thing. Suddenly she had understood Steve's defeated attitude. "Wow!... Danny is crazy, isn't he?… For real? With his ex? "

Steve bowed his head again and looked at his hands as he said, "Yeah... He says it's his chance to reunite his family again..."

She leaned over and approached the coffee table, where the two beers remained untouched. He took both bottles and gave one to Steve, saying, "Here... you need it more than me."

Mary took advantage of the silence, during which, both drank their beers, then she got up. She took a couple of steps and then turned to face his brother. "This is all nonsense... An absolute stupidity..." Steve frowned and put his bottle back on the table, but said nothing. She kept talking. "Steve... you're my brother and I love you, but sometimes you can be a complete idiot."

"Hey..." he said, in a failed attempt to defend himself, but he knew his sister was right, so he thought better and closed his mouth.

Mary sighed and walked towards him, kneeling in front of the diminished figure of her brother. At this moment the proud Ninja... that war hero who had always made her feel proud and who she boasted with all her friends... now he was just a lonely and sad man.

"Steve... look at me," she said softly. When he looked up, she asked, "Have you ever told him how you feel?" He shook his head, silently, while she rolled her eyes.

"Listen Mare... I didn't realize how I feel about Danny until a few days ago, okay? This whole thing with Rachel bothered me... somehow, I always knew he was still in love with her... But I never thought..." She listened to her brother in silence, now that finally he had decided to talk. "This is all very confused for me... Now, everything I thought I knew about myself is upside down... I've always been with women, I've never been attracted to a man... and now... To be honest, It's not to all men... I think it's just Danny... It has always been Danny."

The presence of his sister... there, so close, began to become uncomfortable. He felt exposed... vulnerable. He moved away a little, leaning against the back of the couch. "Danny is convinced that he wants to be with Rachel and I... I just can't Mary... I can't be there to see this. Regardless of whether that relationship is destined to fail... The past can't be erased suddenly... and those two have a lot of past together..."

"Danny is grown man, Steve..." Mary answered, as she stood up to stretch her legs, which had begun to numb. "You should give him the benefit of the doubt... Maybe he's right and it's possible to resume his relationship with his ex, without it being a big deal."

"I don't think so... I know him, Mary. He always blamed himself for his failed marriage... but for a relationship to fail it takes two... and she... she hurt Danny a lot, using Grace as a weapon to destroy him and years after that, hiding who was Charlie's real father... Listen... this is not about me, this is about Danny. Many things happened in his relationship with Rachel so this new relationship isn't healthy to any of them. Although I hope not, I'm afraid Danny will be hurt again."

"You're his best friend, Steve... Don't you think Danny will need you by his side if that happens?"

"Yes..." he said in a defeated voice, "I know he will... but I'm not that strong, Mary. I can't see him throwing himself into someone else's arms without destroying me... That would kill me, Mare."

"So... You're thinking about accepting the job in Coronado because you really want to escape?"

A couple of tears slid stealthily down Steve's cheeks as he replied, "I swear I don't know... Mary. I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. There is still time, I must give my answer at the end of this month... Believe me, I've thought about it a lot. I've analyzed the pros and cons and... "

"And?" She asked. When he didn't answer, she said. "Look, Steve. Don't misunderstand. I'd love to have you here. I'd like you to be part of Joan's daily life, not just like the uncle she visits from time to time, but please understand... I don't want you to stay here... I don't want you to leave Hawaii, your life there and the people you care about for the wrong reasons..."

He raised his voice for a moment, desperate to explain, "I don't want that either! Do you thing I want this? But seriously, Mary. What are my options? I need to solve this... I need to tear this off from my heart... this overwhelming need of being near Danny!..." He paused and then whispered, "I can't do that if I'm close to him... working with him... seeing him every day at the office... That will kill me."

Mary brought her hand to Steve, who took it gently and got up. Then, she wrapped him in a hug that aimed to provide all the comfort and love he needed. "Think about it, Steve."

"I'm trying, Mary ... I am" He murmured in her ear, as he hugged her.

* * *

They didn't talk about it again, for the rest of the time. Steve played with his niece as long as he could. Mary and Steve cooked together, ate and chatted. Steve tried to flood his heart with the comforting presence of his family.

The next afternoon, Steve drove back to the naval base, to take the plane back to Honolulu. He parked the car in the parking lot and handed the keys to the security guard. Then, he picked up his duffel bag and walked slowly towards the airstrip. The huge plane was waiting there, imposing, illuminated by the powerful lights. He climbed the ramp, nodding to the other sailors who were already in their seats on each side of the cabin. He settled into a free seat, adjusted the safety belt and tilted his head back, closing his eyes. He had deliberately avoided calling Danny the night before. He just sent him a text message, _"I'll be back tomorrow night... We'll talk then, okay?"_

Danny had been slow to answer... When he did, his message was short and terse, _"Ok. I'll see you then"._

It was time to make decisions. As painful as it was, this trip had been enlightening... Now he had a plan and knew what he had to do to save what he could from his shattered heart.


	7. Beware of your enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are slowly realizing that they belong together... But there are people who are interested in that not happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy reading

The plane landed on the Pearl-Hickham airstrip at exactly 11:00 pm. Like the rest of the sailors, Steve got up from his seat, took his duffel bag and went down the ramp. He inhaled the night air, feeling at home and started walking towards the main building.

Leaving the base, he went to the Marquis, which was in the parking lot for the base's staff. Tired, he opened the door and threw his bag inside. He looked up before entering the car and then he saw him.

Danny was leaning on the Camaro's trunk, arms crossed and staring at him. Steve sighed, trying to calm the sudden pounding of his heart against his ribs. He slammed the door and walked the fifty steps that separated them.

Silently, he stood next to his friend and adopted a similar posture as he said, "You've definitely become a nocturnal creature, Danno!" For a moment, they both watched the maneuvers of a helicopter that was flying over the base, low height and ready to land. Steve said, "It's not that I don't appreciate the welcoming committee, but, just out of curiosity, what are you doing here?"

Danny's facial expression didn't change a bit, he just took a deep breath and said, "Mmmmh... In your text you said you'd be back tonight... so I thought you might need a ride..." He paused briefly, "I didn't think that you had brought that old scrap heap..."

"How did you know what time I would arrive?"

Danny's voice dripped sarcasm, "Well ... as you kindly omitted that information in your message, I've been here for a few hours."

Steve frowned and looked for the first time at Danny's gaunt face. "Hey... are you okay?" Steve fought against his desire to hug Danny and never let him go.

Danny dropped his arms and sighed, "No ... Steven. I'm not okay."

Steve moved a couple of steps and turned to face Danny. In a firm but calm voice he said, "What's going on, Danny? ... I mean, you come here, offering me a ride, but your attitude is belligerent ... You're clearly looking for a fight and I'm not in the mood for that crap. I'm starving and tired, I've been awake for almost 24 hours; I've been on an uncomfortable seat in a military aircraft for the last six hours ... If you're willing to share a sandwich and a beer in my place, I'm on board ... But, if you want to argue so you can blame me for anything that happened to you today... honestly Danny, you should go home and we'll talk later, okay?"

Danny was silent for a few seconds, Steve was right. He had come here with the sole purpose of smoothing the rough edges in his relationship and being best friends as they've always been, but he was achieving exactly the opposite effect. He shook his head and said, "Okay."

Steve frowned and asked,"Okay... what?"

"Okay ... sandwich and beer in your place, okay."

Steve shrugged, and said, "Okay ... I'll see you there." He turned and walked toward the Marquis. After turning on the engine, he saw the Camaro in the rearview mirror, it was already turning the corner.

While driving through the semi-deserted streets, towards the H1, he tried to remember if there was already beer in the fridge. He stopped at a convenience store to buy a six-pack, rye bread and a huge pot of chocolate ice cream ... He needed some comfort food to regain his mood.

When he got home, the Camaro was already there. He turned to put the Marquis in the garage and went out to join Danny. When he entered the house, his partner was sitting on the couch. He had taken his shoes off and was resting his feet on the coffee table, while he was zapping on the remote control to look for something interesting to watch on TV.

The rest of the house was dark. Junior was nowhere to be seen and Steve worried for a moment. The guy had been somewhat depressed after the probation hearing and the argument with his father, he had spent a couple of nights away from home after that... He smiled at the thought that the relationship with Tani should be growing... in the bottom of his heart, he wished it was so.

"Hey ..." Steve said, as he walked towards the kitchen. He put the ice cream pot in the freezer and the bread on the table, then, he took out some chicken, lettuce, tomatoes and mayonnaise to make some sandwiches. When Danny entered the kitchen, Steve was already making dinner.

Without saying anything, Danny took two cold beers, removed the caps and gave one to Steve, they both collided the bottles and drank long sips in silence. A couple of minutes later, they both went back to the living room, each carrying a dish with two sandwiches and a bottle of beer. Danny sat back on the couch and looked at Steve, who was waiting, hesitant ... Finally he decided and took a seat in the  armchair in front of his friend.

They ate in silence for a while, until Danny sighed and said, "Okay... how was your trip?"

Steve drank the rest of his beer and wiped his lips with a napkin, then replied simply, "Good ..."

"Just good?"

"Good... Danny. I don't know what else I can tell you ... There's not much to tell about cumbersome paperwork for the Navy... the newest is I went to LA to visit Mary yesterday... She and Joannie send you their love."

"Nice! That's good. How is she? And Joannie?"

Danny tried to start a conversation, but Steve simply replied, "They're fine." Without wanting to go into more detail, Steve got up, picked up the dishes and went back to the kitchen. A minute later, he came out with the ice cream pot and two spoons.

This time he sat on the couch, but made sure there was some space between them. He didn't feel strong enough to suppress the unexpected reactions that, lately, his body experienced when he was close to Danny.

Danny looked at him, trying to decipher this evasive attitude. Finally, he shrugged and took the spoon that Steve gave him, both ate the ice cream in silence, with his eyes fixed on the TV which showed a documentary of Discovery Channel.

* * *

 

Danny opened his eyes and rubbed them lazily. He had fallen asleep at some point in the midst of the documentary. The TV was off and Steve wasn't anywhere. He went upstairs hoping to find him... the door to the bedroom was closed, but Danny could see the faint light that filtered under it.

He clenched his fist and moved it with the intention of knocking the door, but his hand was frozen in the air. It was absurd! He couldn't muster the courage to knock on the damn door! He stood there, for a minute or two, then, he went back down the stairs again, quickly put his shoes on and opened the door... deactivating and re-activating the alarm he left the house, closing the door behind him.

* * *

 

Steve was sitting on the bed, with the laptop on his lap, checking the emails that had accumulated in the last few days. He had given up trying to sleep ... As soon as he closed his eyes, he thought Danny was there... lying on the couch, only a few feet away. That thought made the sleep elude him. The surprise of seeing Danny waiting for him outside the base, was a little more than he could handle. He felt weak and vulnerable.

Suddenly, a familiar creak caught his attention ... The third step in the stairs. He waited a few minutes in silence, listening to the faint sound of dragging of Danny's socks sliding against the wood of the floor. He could almost imagine him standing there, outside his room... his ear pressed to the door, trying to hear some sound. Steve remained silent ... waiting ... allowing himself to wish, for a moment, that Danny finally decided and entered his bedroom... Damn it! He felt like an idiot! He was fighting against the only thing he wished to do... to get up and open that door... but an unknown fear kept him motionless.

The third step creaked again and a moment later, he could hear the sound of the main door closing and, a couple of seconds later, the Camaro's engine. Quickly, he put the computer aside and stood up. He ran down the stairs and opened the door, he got to see the taillights of Danny's car as it moved away.

* * *

 

When Danny turned the corner, he almost wished that Rachel's car wasn't parked there, in front of his house, as it had been every night of the last week... but he had no luck. That meant he had a full house. He had always been glad to have his children at home, but that night... he would have appreciated a few hours alone... To have a time for himself... to think ... Sighing resigned, he parked the Camaro, turned off the engine and looked at his watch, it was 2:30 am.

He walked slowly to the door, opening it silently. At the threshold, he took his shoes off and entered the house cautiously. For a moment, he couldn't help but mock himself. He looked like a cheating husband who crawled to his house in the middle of the night, after having an affair. Either way, he secured the lock and activated the alarm in total silence.

The house was completely dark... Silently, he went upstairs and entered stealthily to Charlie's bedroom. True to his custom, the kid slept with his feet entangled in the sheets. Trying not to wake him up, Danny settled the mess, covering Charlie with the blankets, kissed his son on the forehead and went back out into the corridor. He passed in front of his bedroom, the door was closed.

Danny went downstairs again to the living room, took a blanket and sat on the couch. He took his laptop and began to download the last pictures from his last case, in which there were still some loose ends... He couldn't help noticing the irony of the situation, while he thought, “ _There are not as photographs of a crime scene to distract the mind!”_ ... God! How he wanted to sleep!

Fatigue began to overcome him, when he heard barefoot steps on the stairs. Rachel approached the couch, "Danny, are you okay?" She asked softly.

Danny looked at her in the dim light of the computer screen ... Rachel wore a black silk nightgown. The brown hair was perfectly combed... She was absolutely beautiful. But Danny didn't feel anything... No love... no desire...  nothing. "Hi!" He said, "I'm sorry if I woke you up..."

She sat next to him on the couch and asked as she furtively watched the terrible images, "What's going on? A rough case? "

He shrugged and answered in a neutral voice, "Something like that ..." _Hell, he hated lying!_

She stood up again and held out her hand, asking, "Are you coming to bed?"

He smiled at her, but didn't move. In a soft voice he said, pointing to the screen, "In a minute... okay?"

She shrugged and went back to bed... Twenty minutes later, Danny closed the laptop screen and placed it gently on the coffee table, slid on the couch, until he was lying down and covered himself with the blanket. The accumulated fatigue finally overcame him and he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Rachel took a long time to go back to sleep. Her mind was spinning as she waited for Danny to join her. Everything was slowly collapsing. For a few wonderful weeks, she had dared to think that, finally, her relationship with Danny could be revived again. But he was slowly slipping away like water in her hands.

Danny was a wonderful man, kind and loving. An excellent father and a great cop. What she liked most about him was his smile and the way he made her laugh. Why the hell didn't she see that when she had him? For the thousandth time since she divorced Stan, she regretted each and every one of the bad decisions he had made regarding Danny over the years.

Her mind traveled back, when she left Danny for Stan. She had justified her decision, blaming Danny's job... but that wasn't entirely true. Rachel thought that, with Stan, she would have everything she had always wanted... To be fair, Stan gave her everything he could and more... she had luxuries, parties, trips, fancy food, a nice house and a lot of money... but Stan's love never equaled Danny's love.

Danny's love was hard to equal... When Danny loved someone, he gave all his heart, unconditionally. Rachel shuddered to remember the way Danny treated her during the years of their marriage... with unconditional love, almost with veneration... and when he made love to her, she felt full, happy... As if she was the center of the universe. She never felt this way with Stan.

Then, her mind returned eight years ago... to those few weeks that followed Matt's flight. She really thought things would work that time, Danny treated her with the same love and, again, he had the same attention and details that made her fall in love with him the first time. She and Grace went to Jersey, waiting for him to join them... but he never did. The damn job again!

This time... since Grace's accident, Danny had been kind and gentle... But he lacked that fire... that overflowing passion. They had talked a lot and decided that they would forget the past and try again... for the sake of the children. But Rachel didn't want just that. The children were important, of course... but she wanted to have Danny completely... she wanted to be the owner of his mind,his  body and his soul...

At this moment, in the solitude of the bed, wishing without hope that Danny would enter the room and lie down beside her, he realized that she wouldn't have that, unless she fought for it. Maybe Danny was reconsidering his decision to go back to her, but she was determined to get it, whatever it cost... Finally, she did have the right to be happy, after the disappointment of her marriage with Stan, didn't she?

Furiously, she wiped the tears that slid down her face. While she was getting ready to sleep, she turned off the lamp, and began to think of a plan... She would need all the help she could get, to win Danny's heart again... and she was determined to do it.

* * *

 

The morning at Five-0 headquarters was total chaos. Everyone's phones had been ringing for an hour. They had a new homicide case... the governor's  niece; but they still had to make a final arrest in their previous case. The team divided the tasks. Steve decided that he and Lou would take care of the new case, while Danny and Junior would close the pending case.

The absence of Jerry weighed on everyone's spirits. The guy had left the hospital and was at home recovering, so Adam and Tani stayed in the office to do the job that Jerry usually did.

At 10:00, Danny and Junior went up to the Camaro to go back to talk to the victim's wife... They had a new witness who saw her at the crime scene at the time of her husband's death... despite her alibi said she had been in Waimanalo at that time.

Lou and Steve arrived at the morgue, where the body of a 22-year-old girl lay on the table, covered with a white sheet. Although she had not performed the autopsy, Noelani gave them a report on the cause and the probable time of death.  Ten minutes later, they both left to the scene where  the body was found.

On the way, Lou silently studied Steve's face.

Steve was driving in silence. It seemed that he had not slept properly for some time ... the captain noticed that his friend had lost a few pounds in the last few weeks. Lou started talking, trying to figure out Steve's mood, "So... how was your trip?"

Without taking his eyes off the road, Steve replied: "It was fine ... I was in Coronado and solved some problems, then I went to Los Angeles to visit Mary".

"Good!" Lou said enthusiastically, "How are she and little Joan?"

"Excellent!" Steve said, letting out the first sign of joy, "That girl is growing so fast, Lou! Both are very good."

"I'm happy to hear that... and you? What about you?"

Steve sighed... the captain never went around the bush. He meditated for a moment on his answer and finally said, as he prepared himself to hear a sermon, "I'm ... I'm good."

"Look, Steve." Lou said, "I know you're going to hate me, but we've already talked about this... Something's wrong."

"Lou... just leave it, will you? I'll be fine." Steve's attempt to cut off the conversation didn't turn out well. He only encouraged Lou, so he said, "You won't be, if you don't talk about that, Steve... Something is happening that is eating you inside... At first, I thought it was about Jerry, but now I think it's... something else."

"You're right, Lou..." Steve said in a trembling voice, "Something's wrong... but I'm working on it. I'll pull through, okay?"

Lou shrugged. It was clear that he would get nothing from this conversation. Steve was locked in his usual secrecy; Finally he said, "If you say so... Listen, Steve... I just want you to know that, if you need to talk, I'm here".

Steve looked at his partner for the first time and said, "Thank you, Lou ... I know ... and believe me I'll talk to you. I just need to solve this first, okay?"

"All right," Lou answered. At that moment, they arrived at the scene, where there were some police cars and HPD officers walking the beach. Quickly, Steve and Lou left the Silverado and went to work.

At noon, the Camaro parked in its usual place, just at the same time Steve and Lou came down from the Silverado.

"Hey ..." Steve greeted Danny and Junior, "What happened to Mrs. Kahanamoku?"

Junior smiled while leaning on the Camaro's trunk and answered, "She had no choice but to confess... She killed her husband and her boyfriend was in Waimanalo at the same time, with her phone and her credit card, to back up her alibi... Duke took her away to book her... Finally, this case is closed".

Danny's phone rang, and he walk away to answer. Meanwhile, Steve approached Junior and, placing his hand on the guy's shoulder, asked him, "How's the matter with your father?"

Junior's face darkened, "He's still angry... He doesn't answer my calls or my text messages..."

Steve looked into Junior's eyes, as he spoke, "You have to give him some time, Junior. This is difficult for him... Listen, sometimes talking to someone outside the problem, can help... Do you want me to try? I can talk to him... help him to understand."

Junior shook his head saying, "Thank you, sir... Steve. I think, as you say, he needs time. We'll try later... as a last resource, okay?"

"Of course, Junior," Steve squeezed the boy's shoulder affectionately, "Anytime... I'm here, okay?."

Junior smiled and said, "I know... I really appreciate it."

At that moment, Danny approached them, while Lou said, "I'm starving! What do you say if we order Chinese food?"

Steve and Junior agreed, but Danny said, "Sorry, I'll have to pass. I must go to pick up Charlie to school and take him to his baseball game."

Steve, Lou and Junior walked together and entered the building; Danny got back into the Camaro, started the engine and stepped on the accelerator pedal. Nobody noticed the white car that was parked in the corner, under the shade of the trees. The driver waited a few minutes... got out of the car and walked towards the Palace.

Lou was in his office, ordering the food. Steve, Junior, Adam and Tani were gathered in front of the smart table, commenting on the details of the new case. The body of the governor's niece had been found on a deserted beach on Sand Island. There were no wounds or signs of struggle, and Noelani told them that the probable cause of death could be drowning... Lou and Steve had talked with some people... no one had seen or heard anything. They still didn't know if it had really been a crime or an accident... They would have to wait for the results of the autopsy.

At that moment, the doors of the headquarters were opened and the four turned to look at the newcomer, who was accompanied by one of the security guards. Steve was surprised to see her. Rachel wore a black skirt, a white sleeveless blouse and high-heeled shoes. Her hair was tied in a complicated bun.

"Rachel, what a surprise!" Steve greeted her, and then looked at the security guard, "Thank you..." he said and the man left.

Steve turned to look at Rachel and said, "I'm sorry ... Danny's not here. I thought you knew... He went to pick up Charlie to take him to the baseball game."

She looked at him ... with a false, condescending smile. It had been a long time since he had seen a smile like that in her face... Steve remembered that he hated that smile. "I know..." she said, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you... Do you have a minute?"

Frowning, Steve nodded and said, "Of course!" And pointed to his office. Rachel started walking towards there, and he followed her. She stopped in front of the glass door, he came over and opened it, silently asking her to enter.

Steve walked beside her and, pointing to the two chairs, he said, "Please, sit down." He sat in his chair and leaned back, peering into her face and trying to guess the reasons she was there.

"Okay..." he said, "how can I help you?"

She spoke softly, leaning forward, "First of all, I'd like to ask you not to tell Danny anything we talk about."

"I don't know, Rachel. I'm not comfortable with hiding information from him..." he said, shaking his head.

She hesitated for a moment, if Danny found out that she had talked to Steve, she'd have a lot of problems.

"Listen, Steve. What I want to talk to you about has to do with Danny, and he'll feel very embarrassed if he knows I told you. Please…"

With displeasure, he replied, "I won't say anything, Rachel, but if he asks me I'm not going to lie to him, okay?"

"Fair enough... Anyway, he won't ask," She said. Then she paused to clear her throat and started talking, "As you know, since Grace's accident, Danny and I have spent a lot of time together," she paused and he nodded silently.

"Well ... Danny and I went to Kauai to spend some time together. We 've talked a lot and we decided that we will try to get our family together again... of course, that means we will get married again."

Steve felt a wave of panic rising from his stomach, but his face was cold ... unalterable.


	8. We need to talk

… that means we will get married again.

… that means we will get married again.

The phrase repeated itself like a loop in his brain... Steve felt that the last hint of a hope that, deep in his mind he had allowed himself to feel, was fading out, while Rachel continued to speak.

He frowned and said, "I don't understand... Rachel. Why does all this matter have something to do with me? I mean ... you've come specifically to talk to me, about you two getting married again... Why?"

She looked at him about to lose patience, "Steve... your support is very important to Danny. You are his best friend."

"Okay ... but don't you think that's an issue that Danny and I should talk about? Just us." He paused as he moved in his chair. The pain and discomfort were palpable in every inch of his body. "Sorry, Rachel, but I can't help but have the feeling that there's something else..."

She smiled again as she said, "You're right... there's something else." He raised his eyebrows and she continued. "I think he's afraid..."

“¿Afraid?” Steve asked, suspicious. “Afraid of what?”

"That you... his friends, the team... don't accept our decision."

"I'm sorry, Rachel. But I don't buy it... Danny has never asked us for an opinion about his decisions regarding his private life. We have nothing to say about it. If Danny decides this is what he wants for the rest of his life, we'll have his back... and he knows that... Listen, Rachel. Why don't we stop beating about the bush and you tell me directly what you want?"

She pursed her lips for a second, breathed a couple of times and said, "I think, specifically that fear is about you..."

Steve shook his head, "I'm sorry... me? what are you talking about?"

"With all his heart, Danny wants you to be there that day... he wants you to be his best man... He wishes you to feel happy for us." While she was talking, Steve felt an immense anger build up in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Rachel... but again, I think it's a conversation he should have with me."

"I told you he's scared, Steve... I can bet he hasn’t told you yet that we're back together... that we're in love again... I've practically lived in his house for a few weeks. I spend four or five nights a week in his bed."

He tried to contain himself... Suddenly, all the aversion he felt for Rachel over the years, returned with an indescribable force. He had tried to contain that repulsion since Grace's accident, for the sake of Danny and the children... but now... here, in front of him, he saw Rachel again as he had seen her since the beginning. He took a deep breath and tried to suppress his disdain, "You'd lose the bet, Rachel. Danny told me... He and I have talked about that... but he didn't tell me you were getting married again."

She looked at him, trying to decipher the ton of emotions that crowded in those green hazel eyes... She couldn't. "Look, Steve... I know that, maybe, I'm  going too far, invading your friendship with Danny... but this is about me too... Finally, the only thing I ask is that, when he tells you about our plans, you support him... That you tell him you agree with us... to be happy again. That would make things much easier."

At that moment, Tani walked towards the closed door, making a sign to Steve, who thanked the welcome interruption, nodded and got up. "I'm sorry, Rachel... but we'll have to finish this conversation in other time... as you can see, I have to work."

Rachel got up, she was determined to get that promise from Steve. "Do I have your word?" She asked, moving her right hand towards him.

"I'll always have Danny's back, and he knows that. You have my promise that, when the time comes, if he asks me, I'll tell him exactly what I think about it." Ignoring Rachel's hand, he walked to the office door and opened it to allow her to leave. As she passed beside him, she asked, "Do you mind if I wait for him in his office? I need to talk to him."

"Of course…" he answered.

While she was walking towards Danny's office, he called Adam, who came over. Steve told him in a low voice, "Rachel is going to wait for Danny in his office. Please go and stay with her until he arrives." Adam nodded and joined Rachel in Danny's office.

Steve was furious, he couldn't believe that his partner was unable to see how manipulative his ex was. He was positive that she was so insolent to invading Danny's privacy without the slightest scruple. Adam would make sure this didn't happen. As he walked to the smart table, he suppressed a bittersweet feeling of satisfaction at seeing Rachel's face, which was frowning when Adam joined her.

He took a deep breath to calm down and continued on his way to the smart table. When he was with the team, he asked "What's going on?"

Lou had an open box in his left hand... The right one had chopsticks that held a piece of Kung Pao chicken. With satisfaction, he pushed it into his mouth and chewed with delight, squinting. Steve couldn't help but laugh... "Are you planning to share?" He asked, feeling a twinge in his stomach. Until that moment he had not realized how hungry he was.

The captain walked to the kitchen and came back with another food container, gave it to Steve along with another pair of chopsticks and said, "Here ... Shrimp and Chicken. I know how much you like Chow Mein."

Junior looked at them amused, Steve opened his box and began to devour the delicious noodles. While chewing a shrimp with closed eyes, he heard Tani saying. "Okay... We're all eating now... Can we focus, please?"

"Yes... yes, let's focus" Steve said after swallowing the shrimp. "What do we know?"

Lou began to explain, "We investigated all the people who had an intimate relationship with the governor's niece, to see if something unusual appeared and told us that this could be more than an accident. Immediately, the name of this guy came up..." He left the chopsticks into the box and moved his hand on the table, to display on the screen the image of a man. He was young... He couldn't be more than 28 years old.

Wiping his lips with a napkin, Steve asked, "Who is he?"

Seeing that Lou's mouth was full again, Junior answered, "He's Keith Kekoa... the girl's boyfriend." The silent question was drawn on Steve's face, so Junior answered before Steve asked, "Captain Grover asked us to verify his financial statements..." The documents appeared on the screen, "Four deposits of $ 250 thousand dollars each, in the last two months."

The four of them stayed there for about twenty minutes... alternating the data and the information that had appeared about Kekoa, with bites of Kung Pao Chicken and shrimp and chicken Chow Mein.

When Steve, with a sigh of satisfaction, threw his empty box into the trash can, Tani's phone rang and she picked up, "Tani Rey ..." She listened for a few seconds and said, "Okay... Thanks Noelani." She typed on the smart table and, while some images were displayed on the screen, she said, "Noelani sent the autopsy results... apparently there are interesting findings. He asked us to meet her at the morgue."

"Okay ..." Steve said, "Junior, see if you can track those deposits... A million bucks can't mean anything good... Lou, please check if there's anyone else, related to the girl, who had problems with her or with her boyfriend. Tani and I will go to see Noelani. "

They both started walking towards the corridor. As they passed by Danny's office, Steve saw Adam sitting behind the desk, with the phone in his hands and moving his fingers on the screen; Rachel, rigid and visibly uncomfortable, was sitting on the couch, legs crossed and rhythmically moving her feet.

Tani pressed the button. When the bell rang and the doors opened, a smiling Danny stepped out of the elevator. "Hey..." he greeted.

"I thought you'd be with Charlie..." Steve said, as Tani got into the elevator. Danny looked at that face in Steve... he had seen it frequently in recent weeks. Unfortunately he couldn't  identify this one, although he had an extensive inventory of his partner's faces and he knew them all... or so he thought. Resigned, he replied, "Today's practice is long... three hours. So I left him there and I will come back to pick him up later. "

"Okay..." Steve said, understanding why Rachel had stayed to wait for Danny. He got into the elevator while saying, "We'll go to see Noelani, it seems she has something... By the way, you have a visitor..." he managed to say before the doors closed.

Danny frowned and turned to enter the headquarters. He walked quickly through the few feet that separated him from his office and pushed the door to see Rachel, who quickly stood up and Adam smiling at him, still sitting and reclining in the chair.

"Rach!..." Danny greeted her, unable to hide his surprise, "I thought you said something came up at work and that's why you asked me to pick up Charlie."

Determined not to witness an awkward conversation, Adam got up and said, "I'll go help Junior." As he left, he heard Rachel said, "I know... but I solved it quickly and decided to meet you here... I didn't had lunch and I suppose you either. Are you hungry?"

Danny sighed, trying to suppress his suspicions about Rachel's unexpected change of plans. He was silent for a few seconds, thinking that he had rejected her enough in the last week so he decided to please her. "I'm starving! Where do you want to go?" He asked, as he turned and opened the door. Rachel passed in front of him as she said, "Do you like kebab? There's a new Turkish food place on Kalakaua Avenue."

Danny nodded as he said aloud to Junior and Lou, "Guys... Rachel and I are going to lunch... I'll be back soon." Seconds later, they both left the headquarters.

* * *

 

After the unexpected lead, Lou knew that Kekoa had flown to the continent last night... His plane had taken off two hours before the time of death... Apparently he couldn't be the killer, but those deposits were still mysterious. He spent the afternoon searching the origin and the reason why the boy would receive so much money.

Junior found out that the girl had gone out to a Catamaran party the night before... He spent the afternoon talking to some friends of hers who had attended the party... Everyone had confirmed that she was there, but none remembered seeing her when the catamaran arrived to the pier and everyone went home. Noelani had told them that the victim had a high level of alcohol in her blood. Steve thought that this could still be an accident... maybe the girl drank too much and fell overboard... but why had not anyone noticed her absence? The team still needed to talk to some guys who had attended the party but they had not yet located them. Two of them had gone to the Big Island and were expected to return after the weekend.

Without a suspect, the case left them without much to do. So Steve sent everyone home, promising to meet them that night at Tropics bar. The day before, Tani had proposed the entire team join to celebrate that Jerry had left the hospital and would fully recover.

Tani and Junior said goodbye, telling Steve that they would pick up Jerry and meet them at the bar. Adam and Lou left shortly after, "See you at Tropics..." Lou said. "I plan to drink a lot tonight. Renée will be with us, so I have a designated driver." Then he looked at Adam and asked, "Why don't you invite that girl...? What's her name?"

Adam looked at him intrigued, "You mean Tamiko?"

"Yes... Tamiko, that's it. Why don't you invite her? The girl seems nice and she has had some difficult times. Maybe going out for a while will be good for her."

Adam shrugged and smiled before leaving... The idea didn't sound bad.

Steve walked to his office and sat in his chair for a while, looking without seeing the screen of his laptop. He was angry and frustrated... For a minute, he considered the idea of not going to the bar... At that time he was not good company for anyone and he needed to think..."

His head ached... It was as if his mind was imploding by thinking too much. He opened the drawer of his desk to take out the bottle of pills and David Lange's letter caught his eye... Maybe...

Definitely, Rachel's visit and Danny's secrecy about his decision to get married, hurried things a little and maybe... just maybe, they forced him to make a decision sooner than he had thought...

Suddenly he changed his mind... The idea of meeting the team at the bar, seemed a perfect opportunity to have them all together... Maybe he could take that opportunity to tell them the news.

* * *

 

After the late lunch, Rachel and Danny walked down Kalakaua Avenue, to spend the time before it was time to pick up Charlie. Danny tried to get Rachel distracted by the store windows and talking about trivial things. He didn't want to think about making a decision about important stuff... Not that afternoon.

After picking up Charlie, the kid distracted the tension that had begun to form inside the Camaro; talking cheerfully... almost shouting, he told his parents he had hit the ball three times and that one of them had connected a home run. Deliberately, Danny drove to Rachel's house, intending for her and the children to spend the night there... He desperately needed that free time to think.

When they arrived, he turned off the engine and opened the door, moving the seat forward to allow Charlie to get out of the car. Rachel got out and went around the car to talk to Danny, who, at that moment, was taking Charlie's backpack out of the trunk.

Unable to hide her disappointment, she said, "I had thought we could have dinner together... tonight ..."

Danny tried to find an excuse... At first, the idea was to call Tani and tell her he couldn't meet them at Tropics bar... but the prospect of another night looking for pretexts not to sleep with his ex, made him change his mind. "Not tonight , Rachel... The team will meet to celebrate Jerry's recovery..."

She tried again... "Okay... maybe I can call the babysitter, or Grace can take care of Charlie for a few hours and I... I could go with you."

He resisted, "I don't think so, Rachel... Listen, these meetings... it's just us... the team, I mean. We talk about cases and other Five-0 stuff, you'll get bored." Noticing the sad expression on Rachel's face, he said, "I'll tell you something... why don't we meet for breakfast tomorrow and spend all day together?"

She resigned herself... "Okay..." she said in a sad voice... "I understand." Then, she changed her expression to form a smile and said, "But this will cost you... I plan to order three different types of pancakes and then we can go see the Dolphins, what do you think?"

He answered, surprised by the lack of emotion in his voice, "It sounds like a plan to me," he forced a smile, kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye to Charlie, who was impatiently waiting for his mother at the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, buddy!... Bye Rach. See you tomorrow". Without waiting for an answer, Danny got on the Camaro and left.

* * *

 

Steve parked the Silverado and got out, walking slowly towards the bar. The atmosphere was nice and a band played some Latin music. He stopped at the door, looking around the place, searching... Suddenly, he saw Lou who was sitting at the head of a long table and raised his hand to get his attention.

When he arrived at the table, he realized that most of them were already there. Renée, sitting next to her husband, smiled at him charmingly. He came over and kissed her on the cheek. Then he slapped Junior's back and gently pressed Tani's shoulder. Adam got up and pointed to Tamiko who greeted Steve shyly. He brought her closer and took the hand she was holding out to him. "It's nice to see you again, Tamiko."

Steve approached Jerry, who looked somewhat pale and haggard. The guy made a gesture of pain, when he involuntarily moved his arm, which was supported by a sling. Both men shook hands and brought their foreheads together for a few seconds. "It's good that you're here, Jerry. We've missed you."

Jerry smiled and said, "Thank you, boss. Soon I'll be back in the office... I have some new conspiracies that I have been investigating and I'd like to know your opinion."

Steve rolled his eyes and smiled... "Anytime, Jerry." He looked at the chairs around the table, there were two empty chairs to Lou's left. He hesitated for a second and approached, moving the one that was next to the captain and, before the expectant look of everyone, he finally sat down.

Danny arrived a few minutes later. He seemed in a good mood, but he was quieter than usual. He greeted everyone and sat next to Steve, placing his hand on his friend's biceps. Steve felt the electric shock that ran through his body and shuddered.

Oh God! He looked good! For one night, Danny had abandoned his usual pants and shirt and was wearing jeans and a navy blue polo shirt. Steve moved in his chair, trying to change the position and discreetly adjusted his pants, which suddenly became very uncomfortable.

* * *

 

The night was fine. Jerry looked happy and everyone ate and talked cheerfully. Danny and Steve had chatted, joked and argued in their usual way, so Danny relaxed a bit, thinking that things slowly improved between them. Lou was smiling and teasing, and his loud laugh echoed from time to time, attracting the attention of the tourists who crowded the bar.

Adam looked happy; Tamiko's presence was good for him ... Steve had not seen him so relaxed for a long time. For the first time, Kono's shadow didn't dim the guy's mood. Junior and Tani were fantastic together. They flirted and laughed openly... At last, they had given in and looked like a couple of teenagers in love.

Two hours later, everyone had finished dinner and had their drinks talking about a thousand different topics. The atmosphere was calmer... the bar was no longer so full and the band played a quiet melody. Slowly, Steve's mood faded. His face filled with tension... for his own good, he left the beer and spent the rest of the time drinking ice water in small sips.

This change didn't go unnoticed. Intrigued, Lou asked him, "What's wrong with you? You suddenly became serious." Although the captain didn't speak out loud, everyone caught up to the question and looked at Steve expectantly.

Steve breathed... It was now or never. "I'm fine..." he said, trying to make the tone of his voice loud enough for everyone at the table to hear him, but at the same time, not attract the attention of the other people who were still at the bar. "In fact, I wanted to talk to you about something..."

This last phrase, only rekindled the interest of all. Danny shifted restlessly in his chair, waiting ... almost fearful.

Steve took a deep breath... _Well, there it goes!_ He thought, and started talking. "As everyone knows, my trip to Coronado was to solve some issues with the Navy..." Steve's eyes slowly fell on the eyes of each member of his team. Finally, they met Danny's eyes... he was silent for a moment, losing himself in the intense blue color. "Well... I didn't  just go there for that... I met with Commander David Lange." At that moment, his eyes left Danny and looked at Junior, who smiled at identifying the name of his old CO.

Steve continued, "David sent me a letter last week, offering me a commission at the Coronado Naval Base." At that moment, he could feel Danny's body tense, as he watched his friend clench his fists... Danny didn't say anything.

Tani spoke, "A commission? I don't understand…"

"The supervisor of all of the SEAL team's training programs on the West Coast has just gone to Washington... now he'll be working as Chief of Naval Operations at the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Before leaving, the Admiral asked David to recommend someone to replace him... Commander Lange thinks I'm the ideal man for the job."

Lou cleared his throat to start talking, but Renée took him gently by the hand and whispered, "Calm down, honey... let him speak." After a pause, Steve kept talking. "My visit to Coronado, among other purposes, was to speak with Commander Lange to plan my reactivation."

Danny spoke... his voice was trembling, "So, is it done? Did you accept the commission?"

Steve cleared his throat and looked around, everyone had left their glasses and was waiting for his answer, "Not yet... but I'm thinking to accept."

"But... you would go", Tani stuttered a bit, disappointment was palpable in her voice. "I mean... you would move to Coronado... permanently."

"That's correct..." Steve looked back at all the members of his team... his beloved _Ohana_ , but deliberately avoided watching Danny's eyes again... it was too painful. Then, he smiled slightly, saying, "It would be kind of hard to train the boys at a long distance."

Junior's voice sounded sad, "Commander Lange is right, sir. There's definitely no one better than you to train the teams... Everyone there knows you and respects you ... you're a legend. But... What about us?"

Steve's heart cringed. It wasn't often that Junior showed so much emotion when talking to him. Normally, the boy spoke to him with a respect that overflowed with veneration. "You are ready, Junior." Was his answer. "All of you".

Adam interrupted him, without letting go of Tamiko's hand, "Ready for what?"

"Five-0 is the best task force against high profile crimes in the country," Steve replied. "We've all built that... that success is the result of everyone's work. The team will work perfectly when I'm gone." Steve cleared his throat and finished, "You don't need me."

It was Jerry's turn, "How long will you be there?" He asked.

Steve shrugged, "I don't know... maybe two or three years... Maybe more, it depends on the results." Another heartbreaking silence crossed the table, until Steve cut it off, "Listen to me, I'm not going to lie to you... I have not given my answer yet..." He dared to look at Danny, who was twisting the napkin in his hands. "But maybe I will... I just wanted to talk to you first... I wanted you to hear this from me and I want to know... I mean, in case I accept, can I count on you to make the process easier?" Everyone nodded in silence, even Danny, who had bowed his head and looked at the poor, shattered napkin.

Steve took a sip of water and said, "I'm still thinking about it... Next week I have a meeting with the governor to talk about this. My idea is that Danny will be in charge of Five-0 after I give my resignation to the governor... If I decide to accept the commission."

Silence fell again, heavy and overwhelming... Jerry nervously moved the fingers that emerged from the sling to loosen them. Adam and Tamiko kept their hands together. Renée was staring at Lou... the man looked sad.

Suddenly, Steve spoke again, "Listen guys, I'm sorry I ruined the celebration," he said looking at Jerry, "as I said before, nothing has been decided yet... I'll be thinking about it over the weekend. I'll tell you something... Why don't you take a couple of days off? But keep your phones on in case anything comes up. Is that okay with you? We'll meet on Monday at the headquarters and then we will talk, okay?"

After that, everyone decided it was time to leave. Danny hurried to get up... he didn't want to be the last to leave, because he didn't want to stay alone with Steve... he wouldn't know what to say, so he said goodbye briefly and left. Lou and Renée had to pick up Will and Grace, who had gone to a party, then they would take Grace to Rachel's house. Tani and Junior would take Jerry home and Adam and Tamiko also said goodbye.

Steve sat down again and took a sip of water... he felt guilty. He had expected some resistance from his team, but he had not prepared for the overwhelming sadness he saw in each of them, especially Danny. After paying, he left a generous tip for the waitress and went out to the parking lot. He breathed the night air for a moment, walked to his truck and went home.

* * *

 

Danny drove aimlessly for an hour. The news had devastated him... He wasn't prepared to say goodbye to his best friend... Steve... the most important person for him, after his children... Steve would go and leave him. He couldn't explain the immense magnitude of the pain he felt at that moment. It was difficult for him to breathe and his hands trembled as they squeezed the steering wheel. A drop of water fell suddenly and wet the fabric of his polo shirt... then another and another. Surprised, Danny realized he was crying.

He didn't understand... Why did it hurt so much? It's true that he and Steve had been best friends for over nine years. He had a bond with Steve that he never had with anyone else... This news hurt... it hurt so much that he thought he would faint. Quickly, he moved the car to the edge of the road and stopped. He needed to calm down, but more than that... he desperately needed to understand why, suddenly, he felt his world crumble... He had only felt this way once in his life... that day in the hospital, when the fear of losing Grace had paralyzed his heart completely.

For a moment he felt anger... a deep and devastating anger. Steve wasn't completely honest when it came to the reasons for his trip to Coronado... but that anger disappeared as quickly as it had emerged. After all, Danny wasn't completely clear about Rachel either. When he thought of all the things that had happened to his friend over the past few months, he understood that it was too much for anyone. Danny just thought that Steve would recover from everything... Joe's death, Greer's betrayal, Grace's accident and everything that had happened in recent weeks, as he had always done. Everyone has a limit and maybe Steve had reached his.

A pressing need to see Steve... talk to him and tell him everything he felt, took over his mind. Quickly, he started the engine again and put the car back on the road. Ten minutes later, he parked the Camaro next to the Silverado, after a few deep breaths, got out of the car and ran to the door of the house.

Before he could take out his key, the door opened. His partner was there, standing in the doorway... Danny's throat suddenly dried... Steve was wearing only shorts... His naked torso shone as water dripped and it accumulated on the floor around his bare feet. The moonlight brought a luscious twinkle from the tattoos on his biceps. The useless towel hung from his right hand. Damn it!

Danny's heart was pounding furiously under his ribs. Slowly he moved his tongue and moistened his lips, trying to relieve the dryness. He breathed with difficulty and his legs trembled.

Steve's worried voice brought him out of his reverie. "Danny ... Are you okay?... What are you doing here? I thought we'd see each other until next Monday."

Danny cleared his throat. Without knowing what he was doing, he placed his right hand on Steve's chest, pushing him inside the house and entered, closing the door behind him, while saying in a tremulous voice. "Steve ... We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally they're going to talk! I'm sorry for the cliffhanger. The next chapter is almost ready. But I have a dilemma. I wrote two possible endings for this story. One of them is a bit more explicit than the other. I can post the first finale (rating "M"), and then, in another story, publish the alternative ending (rating "E"). Or I can publish only one or the other. Please, tell me what you think.


	9. I'm done pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally see the light!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from "Love Remains the same" by Gavin Rossdale. If you have time, look it up on Youtube and listen... it's perfect for these guys. (Rights belong to its creators ... by the way).

Steve was restless when he got home. His arms and legs tingled and he felt a knot in his stomach. Despite the time, he decided to go swimming. The sound of the ocean and the feeling of warm water on his skin always calmed him down... and tonight... he needed that calm more than ever. Five minutes later, he opened the doors and walked to the beach, leaving the towel in the usual chair.

Even when the sun went down a few hours before, the sand was still warm. Steve felt, as always, that the sand and that familiar night view of the ocean with the million of stars reflecting on its surface, anchored him... made him to feel like home. He walked slowly until the water reached his waist, then he began to swim. With the rhythmic pounding of his arms against the water and the air that entered his lungs every time he turned his head to breath, his thoughts returned to Danny.

His friend seemed devastated when he learned the real reason for his trip to Coronado, even Steve would have sworn that Danny's blue eyes were wet when he left the bar. He didn't know how to understand that. He was confused... What was he supposed to think? After all, according to Rachel, Danny was about to marry his ex... again.

He began to feel tired ... Perhaps the tension and the accumulated emotions had diminished his resistance... He slowed down and swam towards the shore. When he was able to stand up, he walked the short distance and went to the chair to pick up his towel. At that moment, he heard the familiar purr of the Camaro's engine. He'd recognize that sound anywhere. Without wasting time and still dripping, he went back to the house and walked towards the door. His hand stopped at the latch for a few seconds... He took a deep breath and opened the door.

There he was... just a few inches away... Danny was standing in front of him. His eyes seemed more swollen and his hands trembled. For a moment, Steve didn't know what to say... there were so many things he wanted to say to Danny...  but none was even close to escaping his lips. Danny's eyes scanned him up and down, as if he couldn't believe that Steve had chosen this strange time to swim.

Finally, he gathered a little courage and said, "Danny ... Are you okay? ... What are you doing here? I thought we'd see each other until Monday."

Danny cleared his throat, and his nervousness became evident. Before his friend said a single word, Danny put his right hand on Steve's chest and pushed him, forcing him to take a couple of steps back, walking to follow him inside the house. As he closed the door, Danny said, "Steve... We need to talk."

The sensation of Danny's hand on his skin, caused a shudder in his body that had nothing to do with the fact that the only clothes he was wearing at the time, was wet and cold... In fact, he felt a pleasant wave of heat invading his body.

"Okay..." Steve said, taking another couple of steps back, trying to separate from Danny, but his friend took two steps forward, preventing the connection from breaking. "Listen ... Why don't you grab a couple of beers out of the fridge and wait for me a few minutes ... I just need to change my clothes and I'll be back in a minute, okay?" He desperately needed that time to calm down.

Danny's trembling hand remained attached to his chest... Steve was sure that, when his partner pulled away, there would be a mark on the skin... a mark that would be printed there forever. For a couple of minutes, none of them said anything... they just looked into each other's eyes, allowing themselves to sink into that gaze. Finally, Steve turned on his heels and walked towards the stairs, breaking the magical moment. "I won't be long ..." he said, when the third step creaked, as always, while Steve ran up the stairs.

 _"What the hell ...?"_ Danny thought. He clenched his fist; his hand was numb, although it had stopped shaking. At that moment, he noticed the wet trail that Steve had left on his way from the beach. He entered the kitchen, took a towel and returned to the living room to wipe the floor. He needed to do something to distract his mind ... _"What just happened?"_ He thought as he worked.

When the floor was dry, he went back into the kitchen, drop the towel into the sink and opened the fridge door, pulling out two beers. That moment was strange, because even though his heart was still beating wildly, he suddenly felt as if he were coming home after a long absence. He removed the lid of his beer and took a long sip. His breathing and the beating of his heart slowly returned to his normal speed. For once, he wanted to feel, instead of thinking.

Steve went down a few minutes later. He was barefoot, his hair was wet and messy, but he looked good! ... he was wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Again, those tattoos caught Danny's gaze for a few seconds. _"What the hell is going on with me?"_ He thought, as he forced himself to look away and drink the rest of his beer in one gulp.

Steve approached and took the bottle that was on the table, the condensation was accumulating in the cold glass, wetting his hands. He wasn't sure that drinking at that moment, even one beer, was a good idea... So he took a small sip and put the bottle back on the table.

"Okay... are you going to tell me?" He asked at last.

Danny raised his eyebrows and asked in turn, "Tell you, what?

Steve left the kitchen and walked to the living room, intentionally forgetting the beer bottle. Danny walked behind him. He said, "Oh, I don't know... maybe you could tell me why are you here."

He sat in the recliner and followed Danny's movements as he sat on the couch facing him. Their eyes reconnected. Danny tried to suppress the tears as he asked, "Why ...?" Noticing the brief movement of Steve's eyebrows, he said, "No ... don't do that! ... don't you dare to say you don't know what I mean... Why are you leaving?"

Steve cleared his throat... "Danny, it's not decided yet... I have a lot to think about and many things to solve before."

At that moment, the little control he had to suppress what he really meant, melted into Danny's mind and he simply let it go, "And if you... If you decide that you'll accept that commission in Coronado... What am I supposed to do?"

Steve felt the anger blur his vision, "What are you supposed to do, Danny?" He spat furiously, "I think you've decided that already... long before the possibility of me, leaving to Coronado was on the table."

Danny got more confused and raised his voice, "Don't you dare to put this on me, Steve! ... Do you want to blame me for this? What the hell does it have to do with me?... Why, my decision to find out if a relationship with Rachel could work again, has something to do with your decision to go to Coronado to play the Navy hero?". Steve frowned ... It had always surprised him that the amount of words Danny used in each sentence when he was angry, was directly proportional to the amount of his anger.

Danny got up, walking furiously through the room... _"This is going wrong ..."_ he thought. Steve was looking at him, from the armchair. The fire of anger flooded his eyes.

"Find out if it could work again?" Steve got up and stood in front of Danny defiantly. "It seems to me that you are beyond that, my friend... You've already decided that it will work and that is why you two are getting married again... that's why, isn't it?" Steve's fists clenched with fury... before Danny could answer and ignoring the confused look in his partner's eyes, he sank the dagger all the way, "Or you're stupid enough to throw yourself again and put yourself at her mercy so she can rip your heart off, once again, just like she did the last time?"

Danny didn't say anything; he simply shook his head. Steve's words hurt him deeply. Angry, his partner kept talking. "Listen Danny... I don't have the time and the desire for you to come here, to provoke me and then you stay there without saying anything... So, if you don't have anything else to say, you should leave."

Steve turned to go to the door and opened it abruptly. Danny approached and took him by the arm, forcing Steve to look at him. With the other hand, he pushed the door violently to close it with a blow that echoed throughout the house.

"I'm not stupid, Steve," Danny said, trying to regain his composure. "I'm just doing what I think is right for my family..." He let go of Steve's arm and turned around so the other man could not see his face... "I thought you'd understand..."

Rachel's words echoed in Steve's mind, _"he's afraid"._ Feeling guilty, he took a deep breath and said, "Listen, Danny... I'm sorry, okay? You're right... I get it. I understand that you have to seek your happiness... but you must give me the chance to look for mine, do you understand?" He walked slowly and collapsed on the couch, his head hidden in his hands. "I can't stay here, Danno ... I just can't!"

Danny regained his composure and sat down next to his partner. Slowly he separated Steve's hands, trying to look at his face. The eyes were closed with tightly shut eyelids. A couple of tears were running down his cheeks. _God! Steve hated cry so much!_

"Steve ... talk to me. Why is it suddenly so important for you to leave... I thought Hawaii was your home... you said that running Five-0 and being a cop was the only thing you really wanted to do... Why did you change your mind?"

Releasing Steve's hands, Danny moved a few inches away from his broken friend, "I thought we were friends... You said you'd always have my back."

Without looking at Danny, Steve replied, "And you’re right, Danny. I'll always have your back, but I can't stay and see what your life will be like, once you've married her... if you want me to be with you that day, I will... but after that I have to leave, because I couldn't stand it... I couldn't... I'm not that strong ".

Danny lost his patience, "What are you talking about, Steve?" He moved his hands the way he used to, when he was in the middle of one of his usual rants. "I'm telling you I'm trying to figure out if things would work between Rachel and me... and you're already talking about marriage! ... There's a big difference, Steve."

"Is there?" Steve asked sarcastically, "Then you have to talk to her, my friend, because Rachel thinks that wedding is a sure thing."

"How the hell do you know that?" Danny dropped his arms, surprised, "What makes you think she believes that?"

Steve looked back at Danny, trying to figure out if his partner was being deliberately obtuse or if he really didn't know what Steve was talking about. Without giving up the sarcasm he said, "Why don't you ask her?"

"I'm asking you! ... Why do you say that wedding is a sure thing?"

Steve remembered Rachel asking him not to tell Danny what they had talked about, that morning in his office. _"Oh, she can go to hell!"_ He thought and said, "Rachel herself told me this morning... She told me she was practically living in your house and that you guys are getting married again... She said you were afraid to tell me."

Danny's face flushed with fury, "We're not... we're not going to get married!" He shouted.

Steve frowned and asked, "You're not?"

Danny shook his head emphatically as he replied simply, "No, we're not! Why would she tell you that?" He took a couple of deep breaths and collapsed, next to Steve, on the couch. In his mind, he could hear the words that Steve told him, that day in the beach, _"It's the worst and saddest idea in a long chain of bad ideas..."_

Steve swore he could see the gears inside Danny's head, rolling energetically as he tried to resolve the matter. 

Whispering sadly, he said, "She did it again, didn't she?" Steve listened to the question and nodded silently, "Hell, Steve! What am I doing?" Danny asked, resting his elbows on his thighs and looking at his hands, not daring to look at his partner's face.

Steve sighed, understanding for the first time what was happening. Once again, Rachel had twisted the truth. At that moment he felt a deep sympathy and sadness for his partner. "I told you so many times, Danny. When it comes to Rachel you're like a teenager in love... You can't believe that she's capable of manipulating your mind and heart to fulfill her selfish purposes..." He shut up for a few seconds, trying to clear his mind, "So, let me see if I understood... Just to be clear,  You're not going to get married?"

Danny raised both arms, quickly moving his hands. "How idiot do you think I am, Steve?... I know Rachel... that's why marriage never crossed my mind... I thought that, at this point, neither she nor I need a paper to commit to our family... We would take care of our children together... but, as I said, between this and get married... there's a big difference."

Sighing, Steve abandoned his resolve not to drink tonight. They needed alcohol... lots. He got up and walked to the kitchen, to give Danny time to regain his composure. From the top shelf, he took out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. His friend needed his help to finally remove the blindfold from his eyes and see his ex exactly as she was. For that, they'd need something stronger than beer. He placed both glasses on the table and poured the whiskey generously.

He returned to the living room and handed one of the glasses to his friend. They both drank their whiskey in one gulp. "I think we'll need the bottle ..." Danny said with a bitter laugh. Steve left and came back with the bottle in his hand.

They drank a couple more drinks... the feeling of numbness invaded them while they were there... sitting next to each other and reclining on the back of the couch. For a while, they didn't say anything, they just stayed there, in silence, exhausted to the bones.

An hour later, there was no more whiskey.

* * *

 

Danny didn't know how much time had passed... The lethargy had overcome him. His husky voice echoed in the silent room, "Steve?"

"Mmmmh"

Danny stammered, "Why did you say you couldn't stand to stay in Hawaii if I... if I... I mean... if Rachel and I were getting married?"

Steve was silent ... He had not expected this part of the conversation to come so soon. He tried to evade the question, "This night is supposed to be about you, Danny, and about the terrible decisions you make in everything that has to do with your lovely ex-wife."

Danny straightened up and looked at his partner, "Answer the question ..."

At that moment, Eddie ran down the stairs and approached Steve waving its tail happily. Mr. Pickles was coming after him. Danny became impatient and said in a low voice, "Saved by the bell!"

Steve ignored him, leaned over and scratched the dog's head, picked up the cat and got up. He walked to the kitchen and filled Eddie's plate with food, the dog began to eat with appetite. Then, without letting go of the cat, he took out a can from the cupboard and emptied its contents into another dish. He walked to the guest room, put Mr. Pickles and the food down to the floor and got out, closing the door.

At Danny's inquisitive look, Steve explained, "It's total chaos if they eat together in the same room... I discovered that the second night, when Mr. Pickles tried to steal Eddie's food for the second time and almost lost an ear in the attempt".

Dizzy, Danny got up from the couch, _"God! I'm really drunk! "_ He thought, as he stood in front of Steve. "Answer my question!"

Steve shook his head with a frown, "Danno, right now I'm too drunk to even remember what you asked."

The room was spinning... in a silent agreement, they both returned to the couch, reclining on the back... In a few minutes they were deeply asleep.

* * *

 

Steve opened his eyes, the room was still dark. At some point in the night, he had slid down until he was lying with one leg on the couch and the other with his foot resting on the floor. Beside him, reclined on his chest, was Danny's blond head.

He slowly moved the arm that, until then, gently wrapped around Danny's shoulders and got up carefully, trying not to wake him up. He only managed to take a couple of steps when his partner's harsh voice said, "What time is it?"

"I don't know..." Steve went to the coffee table and picked up his phone. The screen went on immediately... "It's 3:30" he said, as he put the phone back on the table. He felt dizzy when he got up... His right hand came to his head, trying to stop the world that was spinning around him. "I think I drank too much..." He said, turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ice water. After removing the lid, he drank a couple of sips, before realizing that his partner was standing there, by the door. Without saying a word, Danny took the bottle from his hands and drank the rest of the water. Steve smiled.

"I thought you were worried about drinking from the same bottle as me, Danno," he said mockingly.

"That's only when I'm sober, Steve." Danny's logic didn't allow arguments. "Now, I'm drunk and hungry..." Steve froze when Danny walked through the kitchen and stopped a couple of inches away from him, stood on tiptoes and started looking in the pantry for something eatable.

Steve closed his eyes, feeling Danny's presence and inhaling his scent. _Hell, I'm fucked!_ he thought and walked a couple of steps away.

Danny looked at him again, he had a pack of pretzels in his hand, opened it and took one out pushing it in his mouth... he put the pack on the table and turned around. "I could cook something..." he said while looking in the fridge, "Pasta?"

Steve thought for a moment and said, "I don't think my stomach can handle it Danny..." He moved next to his partner, pulled another bottle of water out of the fridge and left the kitchen.

Danny took the pack of pretzels and followed Steve into the living room, walked next to him on his way to the couch and lay down, while Steve went to the guest room and opened the door. Mr. Pickles came out, meowing and, walking with parsimony, climbed the stairs. Steve came back to the living room and stood there, in the dark, looking at Danny, who was already half asleep. "Go to bed, Steve..." Danny said.

Steve dropped himself into the recliner and asked in a barely audible voice, "You want to know why I said... what I said?"

Danny's eyes opened again, he straightened up on the couch and, looking at Steve, he replied, "Yes... I want to know why."

"When I received David's letter... I didn't even consider leaving Hawaii to be an option, but ..." Steve spoke very softly, Danny didn't dare move.

Steve kept speaking, "When you told me that you had taken Rachel to Kauai, I felt something that, at that moment, I didn't understand... I was so angry!"

Danny tried to say something... to explain, "Steve ..." But Steve raised his hand and said, "Wait... Please, let me talk and finish what I have to say, Danny, then it will be your turn, okay?

Danny nodded silently and waved his hand, urging Steve to continue. "At that time, I didn't understand why I was so angry by this...  this matter. That's why I went to Coronado. To get away a couple of days and think". Steve pass his hand over his stubble.  _"Why is this so hard?_ ” He thought. Danny watched his internal struggle, but said nothing.

"I was there... at Coronado beach when I knew... I was running and suddenly I realized everything". Finally, his eyes found Danny's. "I need you to understand, Danny. It had never happened to me before... Everything I thought and felt that afternoon... eveything moved my whole world and put it upside down, you understand?" When he saw Danny's face, he murmured: "Of course you don't."

Steve wiped his eyes and kept talking. Now that he had started, he was determined to say it all. "My self-concept fell apart that day... and I was afraid, a fear I had never felt before..." Steve licked his lips, "I realized you were right... When you said that I was living like a monk... that afternoon I understood why my relationship with Lynn didn't work. What I felt... was jealousy, Danny. I was jealous... That afternoon... on that beach, 2600 miles away from home, I realized I'm in love with you."

Danny's eyes widened, he tried to say something, but one more time, Steve stopped him saying, "I know it's hard to understand and that, I'm probably ruining our bond by telling you this, but I'm done pretending, Danny... So ... Please don't say anything yet and let me finish... At that moment I began to seriously consider David's offer... It was perfect. It gave me the opportunity to escape from what I felt... I thought that, maybe if I went away, it would be easier to overcome my feelings for you... The next morning, while watching the boys training, I was about to accept the commission... I could have my promotion and I could retire from the Navy on my own terms, it was a great opportunity. I could even have the opportunity to be close to Mary." He took a long sip of water, then said, "The irony is that it was Mary who put doubts back into my mind."

Danny couldn't help but ask, "Mary?"

Steve nodded, raising his eyebrows, "Yeah... I went to see her... Deb's house is the same as the last time I was there... except for the photos."

Danny hesitated to ask, but in the end he did, "What photos?"

"Deb flooded the living room with photos of me and Mary... There were pictures of my graduation from Annapolis and when I got my Trident... and, there was one more." Steve looked at Danny's eyes. "At Deb and Leonard's wedding, remember? You were in that photo, Danny."

There was a pause in which Steve took a deep breath a couple of times, "Then I told Mary about the possibility of moving to Coronado... She told me I'm an idiot."

"Smart lady," Danny said with a half smile.

Steve nodded again, "Yeah... Before I said anything else, she asked me if I had told you how I felt about you... When I said no, she almost punched me on the nose! ... Mary told me that, even though she'd like us to see each other more often and that I was part of Joannie's life, she didn't want me to do it for the wrong reasons."

Steve got up and walked across the room. Suddenly, the sensation of having drunk too much had disappeared and an outbreak of energy replaced it. "When I came back, I still wasn't sure of anything... I knew this is a hopeless unrequited love... I know Danny. But I couldn't stop my heart from jumping and my body from reacting every time I was near you. I needed to stop it or I'd go crazy... all this, and Rachel's visit made me finally decide to accept the commission."

Exhausted, Steve collapsed in the recliner and hid his head again in his hands. His palms were moistened quickly with his tears. _"I don't cry! Why I'm crying  for God's sake?"_ he thought _._ Danny got up and walked to the armchair, kneeling in front of Steve, who refused to lift his face and meet those deep blue eyes.

* * *

 

While listening to Steve speak, Danny began to feel a great emotion and a lump in his throat... This couldn't be happening, could it? Definitely, this was the craziest night of his life. He didn't think much about what he was doing when he got up and approached his friend's shattered figure.

Finally, Danny separated Steve's hands, but his friend kept his head bowed, "Steve ... look at me ... please." Again, Steve refused to look up. Shrugging, Danny began to speak. His voice was soft and affectionate, "You told me that... that evening on Coronado beach, your world had turned upside down, right?" Steve nodded silently. "I understand, Steve... believe me I understand... Because the same thing happened to me".

Danny paused, took the bottle of water and drank to soothe his parched throat. Then he spoke again, "I wanted to convince myself that go back with Rachel was the best for Charlie and, although she will go to college, also for Grace... that their parents raised them together... You know, I always believed that I should have done more for saving my marriage... It was Grace who made me doubt."

Steve finally looked up, frowned and looked at Danny. Seeing the silent question on his friend's face, Danny explained. "Grace told me I could fool myself, thinking that Rachel and I together was a good idea... but that was not the case. Literally my daughter told me to think better, because she knew that I was in love with someone else..." Danny's hands wrapped around Steve's... "She told me that maybe that person would be hurt when I realized my mistake... and that it might be too late to do anything about it."

Danny licked his lips... Steve couldn't help but look at that gesture, but forced himself to find Danny's eyes again.

"Today my world collapsed too, Steve... Everything was upside down when you said you'd leave. I didn't want to accept it at that moment, but in the bottom of my heart I knew why I was so angry with that idea... After leaving the bar, I drove around the island, trying to understand why I couldn't accept the fact that you could leave and seek your own destiny... An enlightening moment on the side of the H1 made me understand that this absurd attempt to make things work again with Rachel was doomed to failure... "

Steve looked intently at Danny. The dam was broken and Danny needed to finish, "Obviously, at that moment, I didn't know what Rachel had told you, if I'd knew, I'd have gone to her place and finished things right there... at that moment... It would never have worked, Steve."

Steve frowned again and asked... he thought he knew the answer, but he needed to hear the words, "Why Danny? ... Why it would never have worked?"

Danny shrugged and gave Steve that dazzling smile... the smile he loved. Danny answered, "Because I love you too!"

Steve froze, while a new and unknown feeling flooded his heart and mind. Danny brought his face slowly and joined his forehead with Steve's, who was breathing hard. They stayed there for a few seconds until, slowly... with an inevitable movement, their lips joined in a soft kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!  
> I want to thank all those who are reading and those who took some time to comment. You make my dopamine rise to the sky!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. One more chapter before the ending... I'll post both endings at the same time... to give you the opportunity to read the one you choose. I decided this because most of you, in your comments and private messages, said you would like to read both. Remember this is the first time I write McDanno, I hope it doesn't sucks!!! Please, let me know what you think.


	10. You sure could change me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is ... The aftermath of that kiss. Please let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy reading

_Steve froze, while a new and unknown feeling flooded his heart and mind. Danny brought his face slowly and joined his forehead with Steve's, who was breathing hard. They stayed there for a few seconds until, slowly... with an inevitable movement, their lips joined in a soft kiss._

* * *

 

Steve felt his heart skip, as he enjoyed the incredible softness of Danny's lips. The kiss was gentle and ethereal. Instinctively, he raised his right hand and placed it gently on the back of Danny's neck. His thumb stroked the neck and chin, his lips still floating... barely brushing Danny's closed mouth. All the sounds around him went out ... He couldn't hear the ocean... or the permanent hum of the fridge in the kitchen... or Eddie's movements in the top floor... Only the rumble of their hearts unexpectedly synchronized... He could swear that time had stopped.

They both gasped... as they moved a couple of inches away, their foreheads remained joined and the tips of their noses barely touched one another... Steve's hand kept stroking Danny's neck gently... they both remained with their eyes closed for a few seconds, while Steve whispered...  "Oh God! What was that?" If they had not been so close to each other, he wouldn't have heard Danny's murmured answer when he said, "I think ... that ... that was ... the  most perfect first kiss in the history of first kisses ..." Steve smiled and took a deep breath to flood his lungs and his heart with Danny's scent and presence.

Danny's hands slid down Steve's arms up and down, a couple of times. "Listen ..." he muttered again, "I'm really enjoying this, but ... I need to get up ... my knee!"

Steve's hand held Danny's elbow firmly to help him up. He stood up immediately after, in front of him and wrapped his arms around his partner’s waist. Danny hugged him back tightly... He was afraid that if he let go Steve, he would dissolve into the air and disappear. "This can be too much complicated ..." Danny said in a low voice to Steve's ear who didn't say anything... he simply hid his face in his partner's shoulder, rubbing his back and finally, he took another deep breath, inhaling ... drinking ... listening and feeling Danny. A long and eternal minute later, they moved away slowly ... their eyes opened and connected.

The magic vanished a second later, when Danny made superhuman efforts to suppress a yawn. Steve smiled again and said ... "You and I need to get some sleep, Danno." He took his partner's hand and went towards the stairs, followed by Danny, who walked with hesitant steps.

The third step creaked as usual, while both climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom. The light of a small lamp on the bedside table dimly lit the room... Danny couldn't keep his eyes from focusing on the perfectly neat bed. Steve released his hand and went to the dressing table, opening one of the drawers and pulling out a pair of shorts. He put them in Danny's hands, turned around and went into the bathroom, leaving his partner standing in the middle of the room.

After brushing his teeth, Steve took a new toothbrush and put it on the sink. When he left the bathroom, he noticed that Danny was still exactly where he had left him. He stood in front of him and, placing his index finger on his partner's chin, forced him to look up... "I know you're scared, Danno... I get it... God! I'm terrified myself! I had never done anything like this before, and I have no idea how to move on from here... But we don't have to solve everything tonight, Danny...  I know we need to talk ... a lot, about what we feel and what we want to do from now on... But not at this moment, Danny." He paused briefly and spoke again, "For now, we just need to sleep, buddy," Steve said as he realized the doubt in Danny's movements. "Small steps, Danno... one step at a time, okay?" Danny nodded, smiling.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed and pointed to the shorts that Danny was still squeezing between his hands... in a soft and gentle voice, he said pointing to the bathroom. "Sleeping with jeans is quite uncomfortable, Danno. There's a new toothbrush for you, okay? " A couple of seconds after, he said in a low voice, "Listen Danny, you don't have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you understand?... I'd like if you sleep here... with me, but if you don't want, I understand." Finally, Danny turned around and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet and sighed... Despite knowing Steve for almost ten years Everything felt so new!  And best of all... From now on, Danny won’t be afraid anymore! Some said that people can't change... and no person could make other people change. But here... at this moment, Danny had the feeling that Steve sure could change him.

As he opened the zipper of his jeans, the kiss repeated in a loop in his mind. It had been perfect... slow and gentle... Kissing Steve had been like plunging into the ocean and getting lost in the warm, pleasant water. He put on his shorts and realized that while he remembered the kiss, other parts of his anatomy became interested.

He rejected the idea... His brain was wrapped in cotton and it was hard for him to keep his eyes open. For a moment, he hesitated to take off his shirt but decided to leave it. As a robot, he brushed his teeth and felt a strange pang of affection, when he finished and put the toothbrush in the glass, next to Steve's.

When he came out of the bathroom, he smiled when he saw Steve... The man was half lying on the bed, with his back reclined on the pillows that were piling on the headboard. Steve was deeply asleep... his hands, with their fingers interlaced, rested on his abdomen, which rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing. It had been a long time since Danny had seen the peaceful expression, that was transforming that perfect face. The tension had disappeared, and a slight smile lit up his face to make him look younger. Danny stood there, for a minute or two watching Steve sleep. Then he walked slowly to the other side of the bed and lay down... He turned off the lamp and turned to look at Steve... the rhythm of his partner's breathing slowly lulled him to sleep.

* * *

 

When he opened his eyes, light flooded the room... Slowly he turned around and looked at the other side of the bed... it was empty. The door was open and the aroma of fresh coffee called him. He quickly got up, took his jeans and went to the bathroom...

When he came out, he was wearing only jeans... After hesitating for a second, he went to the closet, looked for a clean t-shirt and put it on. Then, he went down the stairs and entered the kitchen.

Steve was standing in front of the sink. He wore his usual cargo pants and an olive-green polo shirt. Seeing that his hair was damp, Danny smiled. He was positive that, despite the short sleep, his partner had already gone swimming and had taken a shower. He looked happy, as Danny had not seen him in months.

Steve was rinsing some dishes... When he closed the tap and took the towel, he shuddered when he felt two arms around him. Danny was behind him... hugging him! "Morning, Danno," he said softly.

"Good morning! ..." Danny replied, "I took a t-shirt from your closet ... I hope you don't mind. Mine is not in very good conditions."

Steve turned around... seeing Danny wearing his clothes caused a strange jump in his stomach. "I don't mind... in fact ... I like it. You look good". He answered, as he leaned over and pressed a slow, soft kiss on Danny's lips.

Danny slightly separated his lips and felt that Steve did the same... both intensified the kiss, but a few seconds later, they moved away. "I made coffee..." Steve said, trying not to let his voice betray the emotions that were accumulating.

"Perfect ..." Danny answered. While taking a cup from the shelf, Steve began to mix a spoonful of butter in his, already filled with a strong and steaming coffee. They drank their coffee in silence, unable to take their eyes off each other.

Suddenly, Danny's face tensed, as he remembered. "Listen ..." he said, "I have to see Rachel this morning." Steve's expression changed quickly, and his eyes darkened… he focused them on the cup he held in his hands, to avoid looking at those blue eyes.

"Steve ... look at me," Danny said, placing the half-empty cup on the table. When his partner looked up, Danny said, "If we're going to do this... because, we're doing this, right?", Danny's hands pointed to the small space between them. Steve's face lit up with a smile and he nodded. "Excelent..." Danny said, "Then, first I have to fix some issues with her..." Steve saw that anger was suddenly returning to Danny's eyes.

Steve sighed, "I understand... just do me a favor, will you? I know what she did was wrong, but please don't fight with her."

Danny frowned and said, "I don't understand... are you... are you defending her?"

Steve put his empty cup on the table next to Danny's. "No... Danno, listen to me. God knows that Rachel is not my favorite person... but you and I know what she is capable of and ... I don't want you to have problems because of me ..."

"Because of you?" Danny rolled his eyes and said with a half smile, "There are a lot of things in my life that are your fault, Steve. This is not one of them..." He took Steve's hand in his and said, "She lied to me... again, you understand? He tried to use you for her purposes... I'm sick of her lies! Now I wonder if she has ever told the truth just once, in her entire life ... or if she even knows what it is."

"Danny ... please, listen to me, will you? Rachel is cruel and vindictive ... you know her. I'm just saying… the last thing you need right now is another legal custody battle."

Danny's face hardened. "I know, Steve ... I know she's capable of starting a war for Charlie's custody... and she would do it only to hurt me... for revenge. But don't forget that she’s not in the same position as she was the last time." Danny looked at the implicit question, when Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Money, Steve... The last time she had money and Stan's lawyers to make my life difficult for Grace's custody... Now Stan's gone with all his precious money. Maybe, Rachel is evil, but she's not stupid. I hope that, now that she's working and doesn't have all the free time she had at that time, she understands that it's better for her to have me as an ally than as an enemy. If she engages in a legal dispute and reduces my time with Charlie, she would have to take care of everything... and she just can't do that. "

At that moment, Danny's phone vibrated with a text message. He took it out of his jeans pocket and ran his index finger across the screen to read it. "It's Rachel ..." he said, "Listen... I need a favor." Danny stopped looking at the screen and looked back at Steve, who answered, "Whatever you need..."

"Rachel and I agreed that we'd meet for breakfast this morning... The idea was the four of us have breakfast together, but ..." He paused, trying to figure out how to solve this. "But the conversation I need to have with her is likely to go south pretty soon... and I don't want Grace and Charlie to be there to see that."

"Okay. What do you need?"

"Could you take Grace and Charlie to have breakfast, while I solve this? And..." he said hesitantly.

"And?" Steve asked.

"I promised Charlie I'd take them to see the dolphins... Would you take them?"

"Sure!..." Steve's face was divided by a broad smile. He loved to spend time with Grace and Charlie. "Okay, Let's do that ... and when you're done what you have to do, send me a text. Okay?"

They both left the house and walked to the cars. Danny got into the Camaro and started the engine, the car roared and left quickly for the road. When he saw the rearview mirror, he noticed that the Silverado was following him a short distance away. Twenty minutes later, they both parked in front of Rachel's house.

As Steve got out of his truck, he saw the door was opening and Charlie, smiling and excited, got out of the house, running, "Danno! Shall we go to see the dolphins?"

Danny received him with open arms and lifted him up, nodding toward Steve, who looked at them with amused expression. In a cheerful voice, Danny answered, "Uncle Steve will take you to see them, buddy." Danny left Charlie on the floor, when the boy shouted, "Uncle Steve!" And ran to hug him.

Steve said "Hey... Mini D, how are you?" he picked Charlie up and placed him on his shoulders.

Danny looked towards the house. Rachel was standing in the doorway, a puzzled expression on her face.

Danny walked to her and said, "Good morning!" She came over to kiss him on the cheek, but Danny turned suddenly to see Grace coming out of the house at that moment. The girl was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and her hair was tied in a ponytail. "Good morning, Monkey!" Danny greeted her. Grace came over and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek, "Good morning, Danno. You're late and I'm starving."

"Yes ..." Danny said, after clearing his throat, "About that ... there's a small change of plans. Uncle Steve will take you and Charlie to breakfast. How about that?"

Confuse, Rachel asked, "Why that change of plans, Danny?"

"You see..." Danny replied in a neutral tone, "There are some things I should talk to you... alone." Rachel smiled and Danny could see that she had misinterpreted his words, but he didn't care. He focused for a moment on Grace's gaze... the girl had narrowed her eyes and looked at him with an expression of complicity, then, she smiled and said, "It's fine with me... So, have a good time, guys. See you later." Waving her hand, Grace walked to the Silverado where Steve was leaning on the trunk, tickling Charlie.

Steve put Charlie on the floor and hugged Grace lovingly, "Good morning, Gracie."

She hugged him a little harder than usual and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning, Uncle Steve... Can we go now?" Grace walked around the truck and climbed into the passenger seat, while Steve placed Charlie in the back seat and fastened the seatbelt. Then, he climbed into the driver's seat and closed the door. Before starting the engine, he asked. "Okay. Where do you want to go?"

Grace and Charlie answered in unison, "Liliha!" Steve smiled and the truck left for Ala Moana Avenue.

* * *

 

"So ..." Rachel had adopted that suggestive posture, which was so prevalent in recent weeks. He made a sign to Danny to enter the house and followed him, closing the door behind them. "What do you have in mind?" She asked, placing her hand on Danny's arm. He walked away quickly.

She frowned and asked, "What's wrong, Danny?"

Danny walked into the living room and asked, "Can I sit down?"

"Of course," She answered and sat in front of him.

"Listen, Rachel... I know I gave you contradictory signals in the last days and I'm sorry... but last night I was thinking... a lot. You have no idea how useful the last night was to clear my mind... This is not working, Rachel."

Danny saw that she was moving uncomfortably.

"What are you talking about? What's not working?" She asked.

Danny made a circle with his hands in the space between them, "This ... us ... It's not working".

She felt her mouth dry, "Why, Danny? I thought ... I thought we agreed that it would be best for the kids. "

Danny shook his head, "I'm not so sure about that anymore, Rachel ... I don't think it's best for them to see and hear their mother twist the truth whenever she has a chance."

Rachel got up, raising her voice. "You want to tell me what the hell are you talking about? Which truth?"

Danny got up and confronted her, remembering Steve's words ... _don't fight with her_. "I'll tell you ... but first I want to make it clear that I want to talk, not shout... if you are willing to do that, we can go on, but if you're not..." She nodded as she said, "All right! Do you want to tell me now why did you say that? What truth do you mean?"

He couldn't stop the sarcasm from flooding his words, "Oh! let's see ... Which of the times when you've twisted the truth at your convenience, do you want me to talk about? I'll tell you something, let's just focus on the last one, okay?" Danny walked a few steps and took a deep breath, “I know you talked to Steve yesterday, before I got to the office and I know what that conversation was about."

She looked at him with disdain, “So he told you... I should have known that he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut."

He drew a bitter smile, "¡Oh, come on, Rachel! Don't blame him for that... I asked him."

She looked at him, incredulous, "Really?"

"Yes ... and please, don't deviate... You lied to me, Rachel... again. By now, I should be used to it, don't you think?" Danny paused, trying to control the anger building in his chest. "You told me something had come up at work and you made me go pick up Charlie, just to have the opportunity to get me out of the office and harass Steve ..." He breathed a couple of times and kept talking, "You told him we were getting married, Rachel! Why would you do that?"

"Yes, I did. But I did it for you. " She said in a trembling voice.

The sarcasm was accentuated, "Oh, you did it for me!"

She hastened to explain, "Listen Danny... I thought we were on the same page here, and that this... this decision to raise Charlie together, would finally end in marriage... I just thought you were afraid."

"And what was I supposed to be afraid of, Rachel?"

"Afraid of tell him, of course. He hates me... he always has. And I thought you wouldn't want to tell him because you knew he wouldn't agree... I'm sorry, Danny." She took a couple of steps, trying to get closer to him, but Danny made a gesture with his hand, "Stop... First, I've never needed permission from Steve, or anyone, to make my own decisions... Second. I don't believe a word of what you're saying, Rachel. So why don't you take off your mask and tell me what your real reasons were? "

She went down... she decided that, if she wanted to have the faintest chance of getting Danny back, she should tell him the truth. "I was scared... okay?"

He didn't say anything, so she kept talking, "I felt that you were getting farther and farther away from me and I didn't want to let you go... That's why I went to see him. I thought that if he could help me convince you that we and our family can be happy again... then you... you would... You would come to me... You always listen to him... Don't you understand? I love you!"

Danny moved the hand that was in front of him, "No, you don't. I told you before that I don't need anyone's permission or advice. This decision should be made by me and only me... freely. I didn't need you to push me." The voice now exuded sadness. "Rachel ... you don't think, you conspire ...plot... you manipulate people, mainly me, to do what you want... That's not love."

Danny looked again at Rachel's face that was now soaked with tears. The makeup had been ruined and turned her beautiful face into a stained mask... Unable to avoid it, Danny thought that mask was more like Rachel's inner face... that face that she tried desperately to hide with makeup and good manners.

"Listen ... Rachel. That's why this wouldn’t work... There are too many wounds between us... A lot of pain and a lot of lies… and I can't do this anymore ... I can't live in a world of lies. I would never have the certainty that you're telling the truth, because I think I've never heard you telling it... Last night I realized that we can't erase the past. It's best to try to be friends and be nice to each other, for the sake of Grace and Charlie. "

Danny collapsed on the couch and watched her as she sat down again. She asked, "What makes you think that's what I want?"

"Rachel... I don't care what you want... As far as I'm concerned, I don't care anymore. I think you should look for someone you can have a fresh start with...  someone with no previous record... I can't give you that and you can't give it to me either. "

She looked at him strangely, as if she wanted to penetrate his mind, then she suddenly asked, "But now there's someone who could give you that fresh start, isn't it? That's why you're ending this before it really starts."

Danny shook his head, "If you must know... I think so. There's someone... Nothing's happened yet, but I think that someone can give me that... that new beginning... and I think I deserve it, Rachel. It's about time..." He tried to take Rachel's hand, but she pulled it away. Danny kept speaking, "And you deserve it too... Go out, meet people... and find someone to make you happy, Rachel. Because that someone is not me... not anymore. "

"What about the kids?" Rachel made one last attempt, "They were happy for us."

He sighed impatiently, "One more time, you're wrong... Grace herself told me that this was a terrible idea... that you and me trying to be together again was a huge mistake."

"And Charlie? You saw him Danny. He's happier when he has us both."

"And he'll keep having both of us ..." Danny replied, "Oh come on, Rachel! Do you really think Charlie cares if you and I live in the same house? ... He has lived his whole life like this ... It's normal for him to have two bedrooms in two different houses. Whenever he can see both of us and spend some time with both of us, he'll be happy... as he has been until now."

A long, uncomfortable silence fell in the room, broken only by Rachel's uncontrollable sobs. Danny couldn't help thinking that those sobs would have broken his heart a few years ago, but now he was immune to them.

Finally, she asked, "Who is she, Danny?"

He took a deep breath and answered, "As I told you, nothing has happened yet ... And I won't talk about this to anyone, until we have resolved things and decided what we want to do ... only us."

Danny got up and said, as he walked towards the door. "I'll take the kids to the Kahala to see the dolphins if that's okay with you... I'll bring them back this afternoon, okay?"

She tried to stop him, holding him by the arm, "Danny!" She said, almost pleading.

He gently took her hand off and said, "I'm sorry, Rachel. But this is all I have... Let's be friends, can we? If it's not for us, let's do it for the kids. I really wouldn't like to see us engaged in a new fight... with lawyers or something like that."

She nodded silently... finally, she said, "Okay..." She opened the door and he left.

She closed the door... With the back of her hand, she brusquely wiped away the tears, wondering who would be… the mysterious woman who had stolen Danny's heart from her. It would be hard to find out, but she was willing to try. A part of her knew she had lost... but she wouldn't give up ... Not without a fight.

She took her cell phone and tapped the speed dial of the only person who could help her now that Stan was gone... The only person with the money and the necessary contacts. She didn't care about the time ... She needed to talk, to vent.

At the third tone, she heard a female voice, "Hello?"

Rachel let out a small sob, "Mom?"

Amanda answered, in a worried voice, "Rachel? What's going on?"

"Danny ended up with me, mom ..." the sobs turned into a torn cry. "He just left... he told me it’s better that way and that it's better for us to be just friends."

In two minutes, Rachel told her mother about the whole conversation with Danny. Amanda listened in silence. When she was over, Rachel inhaled sharply and said, "Help me, Mom... What can I do?"

The line went silent for a moment, then, Rachel couldn't help but be surprised when she heard her mother saying, "He's right, Rachel."

"What are you saying?" Rachel yelled, "What are you talking about? You told me you've talked to Danny and he promised you he'd do the right thing!  Rachel couldn't believe her last ally was turning her back on her.

Amanda replied, "He told me he would do the right thing for you and that's exactly what he's doing ..." She paused for his daughter to stop crying, "Listen, Rachel. Danny is doing the right thing by telling you what you need to hear... Nobody did that for me... nobody ever told me what I needed to hear... That you can't expect him to keep running to meet you every time you snap your fingers... Let's be honest for once, can we? Danny also has the right to be happy... and he won't get it while both are stuck in failed attempts and second chances."

"And what about me, mom? I have no right to be happy?" Rachel asked, desperate.

"Of course! But not with him... You lost that right when you left him for Stan... just as I lost the right to be happy with your father many years ago."

Rachel cried inconsolably and Amanda said, "Maybe a trip would be good for you and allow you to analyze things with a new perspective. Why don't you leave Charlie with Danny and come and spend a few days in England?"

* * *

 

Breakfast at Liliha Bakery was fun. Charlie had ordered Waffles and dipped them in maple and coconut syrup. Grace had resigned for once to keep the line and had ordered the Ultimate Berries & Nuts Waffle... she enjoyed it like a little girl, in front of the amused look of Steve, who took small sips of his coffee and looked at his watch continuously...

When Charlie was finished eating and his sister began to clean up the sticky mess the boy's little face had become, Steve's phone vibrated with a text message.

"Leaving Rachel's... where are you?" Steve smiled and his thumbs flew across the screen. "Liliha in Ala Moana"

"I'll meet you there".

Steve couldn't prevent a huge smile from appearing on his face. Charlie was playing with his sister's phone, so Grace seized the moment and approached Steve, asking him in a low voice. "What's going on, uncle Steve?"

He frowned and asked, "What do you mean, Gracie?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, come on Uncle Steve! This sudden breakfast so Danno could talk to Mom alone... You've been nervous and looking at your watch every five minutes..." Steve smiled and thought, _this girl would be a good detective!_ She kept talking, "And that smile ... that silly smile that has been stuck to your face all morning!"

Steve asked, funny, "Who are you and what did you do with my precious niece that just yesterday sat on my lap and played baseball?"

"Uncle Steve. Seriously, what's going on? " Grace adopted a serious tone that told Steve that he wouldn't get out of this so easily.

"Listen, Gracie... Some things have happened, but I think it's better if you talk to Danno about that."

She asked with concern reflected on her face, "Is it a bad thing?" Noticing that he shook his head, she said, "Please don't tell me that Dad's absurd idea of living with Mom has progressed and it has stopped being something more than a silly idea ..."

Steve gave a loud laugh and said, "Danno's on his way... maybe you want to talk to him about that, okay?"

Charlie's voice echoed all over the place as he shouted, "Danno!" And ran to hug his father. Steve smiled as he watched Danny pick up his son and walk to the table, where he and Grace were waiting for him.

Danny kissed Grace on the cheek and patted Steve's back affectionately. Then, he sat down next to him and took the cup of coffee, while asking, "No butter?" Steve shook his head and Danny took a sip.

"So... How was it?" Steve asked cryptically.

Danny sighed and said, "Too complicated... I'll tell you later." Then, he raised his voice and asked, "Okay ... Who wants to see the dolphins?"

* * *

 

The rest of the day was nice. Charlie and Grace had fun watching and swimming with the dolphins. For a moment, Steve allowed himself to imagine that Grace was still that little pigtailed girl he had met almost a decade ago.

They had lunch with Kamekona and toured the beach on bicycle. Charlie's eyes closed with fatigue, when Danny said, finally, it was time to go home and looked at Steve with a clear intention in his gaze. Grace couldn't help to notice the gesture and, to give them a few minutes, she walked away to put Charlie in the Camaro and adjust his seatbelt. Then she shouted, "See you later, Uncle Steve!" And climbed into the passenger seat, closing the door.

Steve smiled and said goodbye to the kids with a wave of his hand, "I'll see you later, Gracie!" Then, he looked at Danny who was still looking at him with the same expression. "I'll take them back to Rachel's house... can I come by your place later?"

"Of course!" Steve replied smiling. "Bring some beers!" He suppressed his desire to touch Danny, climbed into his truck's driver's seat and went home.

* * *

 

The thirty minutes that passed before he heard the Camaro's engine were endless. Feeling he couldn't sit still, Steve fed Eddie and Mr. Pickles, put the laundry in the washing machine and trimmed the garden lawn. He felt that he was overflowing with energy.

He entered the living room… at the same time, Danny got into the house, closing the door abruptly. He approached Steve, pushed him until his back was firmly anchored to the wall and crushed his lips against Steve's in an intense kiss...

Steve let his arms wrap around Danny's torso as they kissed, almost desperately. "Do you have any idea..." Danny asked between gasps and kisses, "Do you have any idea... how hard it was... to see you all day... have you so close and not be able to do this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it ... the next post will be the two endings... Please keep in mind that the rating of the story will change due to the content of the last chapter. So, please, adjust your search criteria.


	11. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, Remember that I'm not an expert in military procedures and that I don't know the training program of the US Navy. So I apologize for any inaccuracy.  
> Remember it's my first McDanno. I hope It doesn't suck.  
> Enjoy reading and please... please tell me what you think.

 

> **Decisions (Take 1)**
> 
> _Steve let his arms wrap around Danny's torso as they kissed, almost desperately. "Do you have any idea..." Danny asked between gasps and kisses, "Do you have any idea... how hard it was... to see you all day... have you so close and not be able to do this?"_
> 
> Steve was panting heavily as Danny pushsed him against the wall. Every inch of Danny's body was in contact with his own body, making all sensations seem incredibly new and exciting. His hands automatically moved to the edge of Danny's t-shirt and lifted it up a little, stroking every inch of skin that was exposed.
> 
> Danny's hands clung to Steve's shirt, squeezing the fabric tightly, while their mouths and their tongues were still exploring each other. Both put in that kiss, all the years of anguish and tension... and it was wonderful. As they finally moved away, to fill their lungs with precious oxygen, Danny mumbled, "God! ... You have no idea what you're doing to me ... do you?" They remained embraced for a while ... simply enjoying each other's presence.
> 
> Steve smiled widely and leaned down to kiss Danny again. This was an experience to which he was quickly becoming addicted. This time the kiss was soft and slow. Their breathing gradually recovered its normal rhythm.
> 
> Finally, Steve spoke, without removing his arms that surrounded Danny. "Okay!... I'm intrigued. Are you going to tell me what happened this morning with Rachel?"
> 
> Danny snorted, as he walked away an inch to look at Steve in the eye... "I swear... That woman is crazy...  Jesus, Steve! Why am I so blind and fall into her game, over and over again? She talked a lot, trying to convince me that her intentions are good ... and she cried ... a lot. But I think in the end she understood the message".
> 
> They both went into the kitchen and Steve checked a dish containing two seabass that were covered in a lemon and mustard marinade, then he turned around and asked, "What did you say to her?"
> 
> Danny moved one of the chairs and sat down to watch Steve prepare dinner. "I told her I couldn't  live in a world of lies anymore... Do you want to know what she told me?" Steve nodded, taking out a frying pan and setting it on the stove, lighting the burner. Then, he poured a little olive oil ... while it warmed up, he turned back to look at Danny.
> 
> "She told me she had done everything for me... for my own good, You can imagine that?" Danny asked, rolling his eyes and getting up to grab a beer from the fridge. "I mean ... she went to talk to you to do me a favor! She wanted you to help her convince me to marry her. Unbelievable!"
> 
> Steve sighed and turned to the stove to place the two fish in the hot pan. A delicious aroma began to float in the kitchen. "Well... obviously, she went to the wrong person, Danno."
> 
> "Yes, she did..." After thinking a bit, Danny said, "You know? She asked me if there was anyone else." The hand that held the bottle froze two inches from his mouth, when he noticed the expression that formed on Steve's face, who asked," And what did you say...?"
> 
> "I told her there's someone ... special... someone in whom I'm... let's say, interested..." Danny said, finally drinking a sip of beer and walking to approach Steve, without looking away from those enigmatic hazel-green eyes. "I told her we're still in the beginning and trying to figure out what we feel and want for each other."
> 
> "Do you think she will cause you problems if she knows ... I mean, about us... if she knows that person is me?"
> 
> Danny shook his head, put the bottle on the counter and then put his hands on Steve's waist, finally answered, "Please, don't worry about her. I made it very clear that this matter only concerns me and that special person... no one else. She's curious, but I don't think she dares to do anything else..."
> 
> Steve turned around and took the spatula to flip the fish sizzling in the hot oil. For the sake of both, he hoped Danny was right.  He looked at Danny again and cleared his throat to speak, trying not to show the fear that his next question was causing, "But it's a fact, that sooner or later she ... Grace and Charlie, the team...  everyone will know. What will happen then?"
> 
> "We'll figure it out on the way... Listen, Steve... As you said, step by step, right? I don't want to hide, but I think we should keep this to ourselves for a while... this is too new... to important to rush things... the first thing is to decide where we want this to go. Listen, Steve... I don't want a casual relationship... I´m not good in those... I love you... I think I've loved you for some time... You know me and you know that, for me, that means the world... I don't know how to do these romantic stuff half-hearted, but... I need to know if you feel the same. I need to know if we're in the same page here."
> 
> Without taking his eyes off Danny, Steve moved to turn off the stove while saying, "I don't want anything casual either... You're the first person I'm telling this to... the first person in my entire life, Danny." Noticing the confusion in his partner's face, Steve said, "All my past relationships were casual, because my life demanded that ... I always avoided long-term relationships because, with active service and constant deployments, it's very difficult for these to work ... I witnessed many breakdowns, disappointments and suffering in the team guys... You know that, it's always harder for the family that stays at home... waiting."
> 
> "And what about Catherine? You and her ... I mean, before your failed proposal...  you and she... never talked about the future?" Danny took the dripping bottle again and took another sip, talking about Catherine was always awkward .
> 
> Steve turned around and took a few seconds to collect his thoughts, while he took the two seabass out and put them on an absorbent paper towel. "No ... not, really ... Our relationship was always casual, we never were assigned to the same mission... so we saw each other when we met in the same country ... or when we both had a license or a free time. We were always in two different countries separated by an ocean ... In that time, I never thought I'd stay in one place... you know, to settle down, build a life with someone. I think I was never really in love, until..."
> 
> He heard Danny ask, "Until ...?"
> 
> "Until a week ago... more or less. Or at least it was when I realized that actually I am." Steve turned to look at Danny... Again, he felt he could lose himself in that intense blue eyes, so he looked away. He took a couple of plates from the shelf and served the fish. A salad with lettuce and spinach leaves, tomatoes and nuts, sprinkled with olive oil and lemon juice, completed the dish.
> 
> While Danny was bringing the plates to the table in the terrace, Steve uncorked a bottle of 2002 Louis Jadot Pinot Noir and took two crystal glasses. Then, he joined Danny, who was already sitting. He poured the wine, placed the bottle on the table and sat in front of Danny.
> 
> "Wow!" Danny said, when he savored the first bite. Smiling, he said, "And I thought your skills as a chef were limited to grilling steaks and hamburgers."
> 
> Steve smiled and raised his glass, inviting Danny to do the same. When the faint clink of glass sounded, he said, "I think you'll soon find out I'm a man of multiple talents."
> 
> Before drinking a sip of wine, Danny said, "Okay ... for your multiple talents and for me to discover them all, one by one." Steve took a sip and smiled as he put his glass back on the table.
> 
> They had finished eating, and was drinking the wine with delight, while a gentle breeze blew in from the ocean. The first bottle was finished, so Steve had brought another one. This time he decided on a softer and fruity Merlot that Danny enjoyed enormously.
> 
> When the sky began to darken and some gray and threatening clouds accumulated in the horizon, both decided to enter the house again.
> 
> While Steve was washing the dishes, Danny finished cleaning the counter and, after throwing the empty bottles into the recycling bin, he turned around and looked at Steve... he couldn't help that tingling sensation in his stomach, which was becoming so familiar, returning with more strength, as he walked and placed his left hand on Steve's hip. When his partner turned around with a towel in his hands. Danny's right hand flew to place it gently on his cheek and forced him to lean.
> 
> The kiss, soft and gentle, intensified in a short time, Steve tasted like wine and ocean, which made Danny much more dizzy than if he had drunk three entire bottles. Overwhelmed with desire, he said in a low voice... "Wow! I think I've already identified one of your many talents... "
> 
> "Mmmm ..." was the only thing that could come out of Steve's throat, as he lost himself again in those infinitely soft lips.
> 
> Danny spoke against Steve's lips ... "What do you say if we..." another kiss, "... we go up so... so you can show me some of those famous hidden talents?"
> 
> Steve moved an inch while saying, "Sounds like a good plan to me! ..." A minute later, they both climbed the stairs. When the third step creaked, as usual, Danny said, "I think you should fix that step..."
> 
> Steve said laughing, "No ... it's an intruder detector."
> 
> Danny gave a loud laugh and said, "I don't know why I figured you'd say that."
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> The room was lit by the dim moonlight that came in through the window. The rain had stopped and Danny was lying on his side, looking at Steve's naked body that lay beside him. The man was deeply asleep, lying on his back. His left hand rested on his abdomen, his right arm was bent upward on the pillow, his closed hand was holding one of the wooden boards of the headboard.
> 
> Danny couldn't believe his good fortune ... For the first time in his life, his mind imagined a promising future, against his damn habit of always thinking of the worst possible scenario.
> 
> Seeing Steve sleep was another of his recent addictions. A few hours before, Danny had cataloged each detail of Steve's skin... He stroked the hard muscles of his chest and delighted in the crests and valleys of his abdomen. He carefully admired the tattoos on his biceps and kissed each one of the scars ... Most, Danny knew them already ... he had been there when fate, in the form of some enemy, had hurt him, putting his life at risk... There were others, older, he didn't recognize. While Danny ran his tongue over them or kissed them with his lips barely touching the skin, Steve told him about each of them ... The scars of shrapnel on his thigh, a couple of bullet wounds in his abdomen or the stab near his clavicle. For one time, the military secret didn't matter... Steve knew Danny wouldn't repeat that information with anyone else ... He trusted him, completely and absolutely.
> 
> Danny shuddered to remember that Steve had returned the attentions. Carefully, he touched and explored Danny's body with the tips of his fingers... barely feeling, as if they were floating ... It seemed that he was afraid of hurting him ... As if he was aware of the damage that those hands were capable of do in certain circumstances. Steve was gentle, sweet and loving ... and Danny thought, grateful, that it was the first time someone treated him with all the love with which he always wanted to be treated.
> 
> The noise of the waves and the breeze that came in through the window and gently rocked the curtains, lulled him and he slowly fell asleep.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Steve moved slowly ... the pleasant sensation of the warm body at his side ended up waking him completely, while he remembered the night before. He opened his eyes and smiled when he met face to face with Danny's mischievous look. The blond man approached slowly and softly kissed Steve's lips. "Good morning ..." he said.
> 
> "Good morning, Danno," Steve answered as he stretched his muscles while still smiling.
> 
> "Okay ..." Danny said mockingly, "I'm glad to know that, at least on Sundays, you give up your SEAL routines and wake up at a decent hour like a normal human being."
> 
> "It's not because it's Sunday, Danno." Steve replied, as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Danny couldn't help his eyes watching him hungrily. "It's for you ..." Steve had a mischievous smile, "I woke up early, but I decided that maybe we could change one exercise for another much more fun." He ran and went into the bathroom, just in time to avoid a pillow that shot off towards him.
> 
> When he came out of the bathroom, he settled back into the bed, next to Danny, whose face had suddenly become serious. "What's wrong?" Steve asked.
> 
> "Have you already thought ... what are you going to do? I mean the commission in Coronado ... are you going to take it? "
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> **_Fifteen days later…_ **
> 
> _Steve wore his camouflage uniform and shouted instructions to four teams of recruits who were getting out of the ocean at that moment. The boys were fully dressed in black cargo pants and white t-shirts. Each team consisted of seven men ... they all walked in line and together was carrying a huge tree trunk that had to weigh, at least 400 pounds, while enduring the ravages of a raging ocean and shouting "Hooooyahhh!"_
> 
> _The training was going well and this stage was crucial ... The boys were preparing for the Hell Week so the success in each of the exercises was of great importance._
> 
> _After a while, the guys ran over the beach carrying their heavy load and headed to the camp. Steve started walking with David through the sand, talking in a low voice about the expected results of this phase of the training. Two minutes later, they got into the helicopter._
> 
> _When they reached the base it was almost dinner time. After saying goodbye, he walked to the parking lot ... He got into his truck and drove home. On the way, he felt satisfied, for the umpteenth time, of having made the right decision. While taking the H1, he remembered his conversation with Danny, fifteen days before._
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Steve looked at Danny, who felt a laser penetrate his eyes, flooding him with heat inside. "Absolutely, not. Danno I won't take it ... Although I would like to supervise the SEAL training program,  I'm not willing to leave what I have here." He approached Danny and kissed him.
> 
> Danny returned the kiss, but moved away a moment later, "Steve ... listen to me. I know that, at this moment, you feel that rejecting the commission is the right decision ... and I definitely want you to stay, but you must also think about what is best for you ... "
> 
> While Danny was talking, Steve could feel the moment when an idea came to his mind ... Perhaps it was possible to have the best of both worlds. The idea matured quickly ... Without saying anything else, he picked up his cell phone looking through his contact list for David Lange's name and tapped on the number.
> 
> Danny followed his movements with his eyes, while Steve left the room... He stayed there, lying on the bed, thinking ... almost fearful. The opposite emotions invaded him. On the one hand, he hated the idea of Steve going to Coronado ... but on the other, He knew that Commander Lange was right ... Steve was the ideal man for the job.
> 
> During the ten years he had known him, he had seen first-hand his natural skills for training and it was something Steve always enjoyed. Steve trained Kono and turned her into one of the best snipers he had ever seen ... He also trained her in hand-to-hand combat and other tactical skills. He had used the same skills and knowledge to improve the training that Tani and Junior had received at HPD and the SEAL team. He would have trained Danny, too, if he had allowed it ... Besides, Danny had heard some stories of the way Steve had trained some of the SEALs he had served with.
> 
> Danny wanted Steve to stay in Hawaii, but not at any cost... he wanted Steve to be happy.
> 
> Half an hour later, Steve entered the room. He had wrapped a towel around his waist and had two cups of coffee in his hand. He handed one to Danny and sat on the bed, sniffing his with delight.
> 
> Danny waited a few seconds, before impatience overcame him and finally asked, "So ...?"
> 
> Steve drank a couple of sips of coffee and set his cup on the bedside table. He looked at Danny and replied, "So... It seems I'll supervise the SEAL team training after all."
> 
> Danny felt his heart crumble, but  he decided to show a smile that disguised his disappointment ... After everything that had happened between them, Steve would go to Coronado.
> 
> "Hey!" Steve said suddenly, Danny's fake smile didn't fool him for a second ... "Don't do that, will you? I said I wouldn't leave and I won't... okay? "
> 
> Danny frowned, "I don't understand."
> 
> Steve smiled and said, as he reclined on the pillows and put his arm around Danny's shoulders, pulling him. "When I told David I wouldn't take the commission ... Well, he didn't like it very much at first ..."
> 
> He took his cup and drank another couple of sips, then he spoke again, "But later, he told me there is a plan B ..."
> 
> Danny was still confused, but hope had arisen again, "Plan B?" He asked.
> 
> "Yes ... Apparently the position of Training Supervisor of SEAL teams in Pearl, is also available ... So David told me that, if I want it, that commission is mine."
> 
> "Wow!" Danny said, unable to avoid the huge smile that showed on his face. "Then, you would stay on Oahu ..." Steve nodded silently, but Danny asked, "What about Five-0?"
> 
> "Five-0 stays the way it is, Danno. That was one of my conditions to take the commission. I'll continue as the leader of Five-0 and I'll train the teams three times a week in Pearl.
> 
> Danny couldn't help the joy he felt ... slowly, he moved his leg so that his body rested on Steve's... a Ninja movement caused the towel to magically disappear.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Steve and Danny lay on their backs, trying to catch their breath. Danny said between gasps. "It seems we're good apprentices, huh?"
> 
> Steve couldn't help but laugh, as he breathed hard and saw the mess his bed had become. At that moment, his phone vibrated with a text message. Danny asked, "Are you going to take that?"
> 
> Steve complained, "It's too far ..."
> 
> Danny laughed and moved lazily to pick up the phone and give it to Steve. "It's a message from Lou ..." Steve said while reading the screen: "Hey ... I'm worried. Have you already decided? "
> 
> Steve moved his thumbs on the screen and answered ...
> 
> “Yeap”
> 
> The answer didn't take long. "Y?"
> 
> Smiling, Steve typed, "I'm not leaving"
> 
> The phone rang on a call. Apparently Lou was surprised by the answer and decided he needed more explanations. Given his lack of ability with text messages, he thought a call was the best. Steve picked up, "Hey Lou ..."
> 
> "What happened? You really scared me, brother ... At Tropics you seemed very determined ... for a moment I thought you'd leave us. "
> 
> Steve let the captain do his catharsis on the phone. When the tirade ended, he finally answered, "Let's say someone made me change my mind."
> 
> "Just like that?" Lou asked ... "That someone must be very important to you ... to have managed to change your mind so quickly. Who's that and what did he tell you? "
> 
> Steve looked at Danny who, at that moment, was walking towards the bathroom. A second later he heard the water running from the shower. "Listen Lou ..." Steve said hastily "Tomorrow I'll explain everything, all right? ... Now I can't talk ... Let's just say someone made me an offer I couldn't refuse." Before Lou had time to reply, Steve had finished the call and ran to the bathroom. He opened the shower door and entered, joining Danny who was already completely wet.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Steve was nervous ... The last three weeks had been fantastic. Danny and Steve had explored their new relationship, knowing each other again, although they had not told anyone yet. Training at Pearl was going well; Jerry was fully recovered and the cases had been resolved with relative ease, giving them some free time on Friday to finish the paperwork. The case of the governor's niece had been a sad accident ... after talking to the two boys who had flown to the Big Island, it turned out that when they left the Catamaran, the girl was sound asleep in the cabin and they decided not to disturb her.
> 
> _"She drank a lot, brah ..." one of the boys said. "We thought that the best thing for her was to sleep."_
> 
> _"Oh yeah?" Steve asked, while Danny watched him amused. His partner's stance was imposing, with his arms crossed over his chest and that threatening look that seemed to throw fire. It seemed the boy could wet his pants in any moment. Only Danny knew ... Under that mask of the tough soldier, who was able to get a confession from the most ruthless criminal, was a good and gentle man, a passionate lover and an incredible friend. Steve had made him swear he would never tell anyone._
> 
> _Steve kept interrogating the boy, "And you guys, didn't think to tell her family that she was there?"_
> 
> _"We didn't think, brah ... We had also drunk and we wanted to go home."_
> 
> At the end, the security cameras on the pier had shown the girl, two hours after they had all went home, she got out of the cabin and walked hesitantly across the deck. In an unfortunate moment, she lost her balance and fell overboard.
> 
> Negligence charges was presented against the two boys, but the lawyers reached an agreement with the prosecutor. The boys would fulfill their sentence doing community service.
> 
> Steve shifted restlessly in his chair ... the paperwork was still intact on the surface of his desk. At that moment, Danny pushed open the glass door of his office and stuck his head in to ask, "Are you ready?" Steve nodded nervously and got up. He took his gun and his badge, while Danny looked at him ... "Hey ... Easy, Super SEAL ... we're not going to interrogate an arms dealer ... it's just my daughter."
> 
> Danny and Steve had decided it was time to tell Grace about their relationship and, although he didn't want to admit it, Steve was afraid. In a low voice, he asked, "What if she's not fine whit this?"
> 
> Danny turned and faced Steve, looking into his eyes, "Steve ... I already told you that Grace knows more than we think... She has suspected there's something between us for some time... Let's just talk to her and see what happens, okay? "
> 
> Steve took a deep breath and said, "Okay ..."
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Grace looked at them with a smug face and a smile that touched her eyes. Steve had forgotten his coffee cup, which was now cold, as he listened to Danny talk to his daughter about their new romantic relationship.
> 
> When Danny finished, Grace got up and walked around the table, to stand between them and put an arm around the shoulders of each of them. She kissed both of them on the cheek and said, "You realize I was right, right Danno?" Danny nodded silently and she kept speaking, "I told you that you were in love with someone else and you should find out by yourself ... And you did ... Oh God! I'm so happy for you two guys! ... Now I know that when I go to college you won't be alone ... Someone who loves you will be taking care of you for me. "
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> That night, while they were lying in bed, with the room in the dark, Danny said, "I told you ... she knew ... or at least she suspected it for some time." Steve didn't answer, but, despite the gloom , Danny knew he was smiling.
> 
> Danny asked, "Did you talk to Mary?"
> 
> Steve smiled again, "Yes ... She  told me she was happy because we had finally stopped being idiots ... I must say she included you in that statement, Danno."
> 
> Danny turned around and hugged Steve ... "She's right." For a while, the only sound in the room were his gasps and moans and the sound of the waves coming from the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here it is. The first ending (The M-rated)  
> The Take 2 (the alternate E-rated ending) is being a bit more difficult. It's almost ready, but me and my wonderful beta are reviewing and correcting some scenes. I had no idea how hard it is to write explicit.  
> I practically had to rewrite half, because I didn't end up liking the result. So, please, be patient. It will be posted tomorrow, I promise.


	12. Decisions (Take 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is!!! The finale "E"-rated version. Please be aware for the rating change. Please remember this is my first time writing Explicit, so be gentle. Thanks for your patience, I hope it worth it.  
> Please also remember I'm not an expert in US Navy procedures and training programs, so I apologize for any inaccuracy.  
> Enjoy reading and please let me know what you think.

_Steve let his arms wrap around Danny's torso as they kissed, almost desperately. "Do you have any idea..." Danny asked between gasps and kisses, "Do you have any idea... how hard it was... to see you all day... have you so close and not be able to do this?"_

* * *

 

Steve was panting heavily as Danny pushed him against the wall. Every inch of Danny's body was now in contact with his own body, making all sensations seem incredibly new and exciting.

Danny's firm body caused his nerve terminals to react and certain parts of his own body to be interested as well. His skin tingled and his pants were suddenly very tight. His hands automatically moved to the edge of Danny's  t-shirt and lifted it up a little, stroking every inch of skin that was exposed.

Steve continued the exploration of Danny's torso, lifting the t-shirt still higher and forcing him to raise his arms. A few seconds later, they moved away a couple of inches, the t-shirt flew off and end on the floor, four or five feet away.

Steve's movements faltered for a moment ... he was afraid ... he knew how to make a woman vibrate in his hands ... but this was different ... very different. "Maybe you want to take the initiative here, Danny. Because all this is new to me ... I really have no idea what I'm doing."

Danny couldn't help laughing, "And you suppose I have any idea?... We're on equal terms here, Super SEAL... but ..." One more kiss ... "Don't worry ..." he said, his lips still brushing Steve's and it felt wonderful, "Something tells me you're doing great." Danny pushed his hips to press on Steve's thigh, so that his partner felt the effect his strokes were having on his groin.

That contact caused Steve to give up all his temporary shyness ... he smiled and pushed Danny forcing him to walk back, until his calves hit the couch. Gravity did the rest, Danny collapsed and took Steve with him. Feeling the weight of that perfect body on him and realizing the way they both fit together, increased Danny's arousal to a level he had not thought possible. Steve's mouth was now on his throat, kissing and sucking.

Danny made some desperate attempts to lift Steve's shirt... he wanted skin-to-skin contact, but his movements seemed a bit clumsy ... almost shy, as if reflecting the fear he felt ... fear of what would happen next; fear of not pleasing Steve. This was so important! ... Steve deserved to be loved deeply, after all the crap that had happened in his life and all the people who seemed to use him and then abandon him.

Danny refocused his efforts on the difficult task of undressing Steve ... it seemed that his partner had other plans and refused to stop kissing him. Finally, Danny growled and Steve moved away a little, with a mischievous smile in his eyes. Finally, Danny was able to lift the shirt and Steve raised his arms to help him get rid of it.

Emotions accumulated in Steve's throat as he felt the first contact of Danny's bare chest against his... He just couldn't believe this was happening at last ... All the tension, accumulated in the last days, broke free in a torrent of desperate kisses and caresses. Jeez! What was happening? He had never felt that way... he finally understood the expression, _making love_. All his life he had had only sex... to have fun or to relieve stress... but this was actually the first time he made love. It seemed logical and natural that it was with Danny... All the pieces of the puzzle finally fit.

Danny's hand went up and down his back, when Steve kissed his lips again with an overflowing passion. Then, Danny seemed to forget all his inhibitions and his hands went directly to Steve's waist. He felt the belt buckle and opened it, not without difficulty. Then, his fingers found the button and slid the zipper down.

Steve seemed distracted for a moment, with Danny's movements. He stopped kissing his partner's neck and gasped loudly; closed his eyes to try to control the overwhelming sensations, but he opened them again when he felt Danny's hand slip inside his underwear. From that moment, his eyes connected with those intense blue eyes and he could no longer look away... he was positive that Danny's eyes were a magnet for his.

Danny started stroking up and down and Steve thought he might explode. Wishing the experience was perfect for both, he repeated Danny's movements and, still looking at his partner's eyes, his right hand flew up to the waistband of the jeans, thanking all the gods that Danny wasn't wearing a belt that day.

The position was uncomfortable, and the presence of the clothes made movement difficult ... but everything felt so good that he swore to himself that next time he'd make sure they were properly naked and perfectly comfortable in the big and nice bed of his bedroom.

Both accelerated their movements, breathing and moaning. The sensations overwhelmed Danny, who couldn't avoid closing his eyes. Steve felt his orgasm was coming and, from Danny's racing heart, he was sure the same thing was happening to him. Panting, he murmured in a barely audible voice: "Open your eyes, Danny... come on ... open your eyes for me ... I want to see you".

Danny opened his eyes, just as his orgasm hit him... the dilated pupils and the erratic movements of his hips, finally pushed Steve, who gave a choked moan and his head collapsed on Danny's chest, struggling to take some oxygen to his lungs, while Danny continued to stroke him slowly through his orgasm.

"Wow!" ... That was the only word that Steve's dazed brain was able to build. His voice was hoarse, and his legs trembled, as he leaned on both hands to avoid suffocating Danny.

Danny laughed and answered, his voice was hoarse too, "Indeed... Wow!"

Both began to laugh uncontrollably for a minute or two ... Finally, they calmed down, trying to catch their breath.

When their breathing returned to its normal rhythm, Danny realized the mess they had done with their clothes and his hands... and said in a soft voice. "I think we need a shower." In response, Steve got up and adjusted his pants as best he could. Then, he held out a hand to Danny to help him to get up. After Danny gave his pants a barely decent appearance, they both walked to the stairs.

When they entered the room, Steve walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower tap. Danny watched his movements in silence. Then, he looked at the conditions in which his jeans were ... his expression must have been an open book, because Steve smiled and walked to the closet. He pulled out some shorts and a Navy T-shirt, put them in Danny's hands and walked back to the bathroom, taking off his clothes on the way.

Danny's eyes couldn't help but cling to Steve's bare skin, so he followed his example and started to take his clothes off too, a minute later they both went into the shower. The cleaning process lasted longer than usual, due to the constant presence of kisses and caresses which ended in a strong hug. When the water began to cool, Danny extended his arm and turned off the tap.

The hug lasted a few seconds more ... neither of them wanted to break it, but they began to be cold. Steve opened the door, grabbed a towel from the shelf and handed it to Danny. Then he took another towel for him and rubbed vigorously his entire body.

Of course, Steve was already dressed when Danny came out of the bathroom and looked at his hair in the mirror. Steve smiled and patted her bare ass and said, "I planned something special for dinner, are you hungry?" Danny nodded, "I'm starving!" As Danny took a comb and tried to smooth his hair, Steve said, "Take your time, Danno. I'll take care of dinner." He left the bedroom, unable to prevent a silly and broad smile from appearing on his face ... He was sure that smile would remain stuck there, all night.

When Danny entered the kitchen fifteen minutes later, his partner was focused on cooking dinner. Steve looked at Danny for a moment and smiled, feeling that strange pleasure when he saw Danny wearing his clothes. As he approached the fridge to grab a beer, Danny saw a dish on the counter that contained two seabass covered with a lemon and mustard marinade.  Danny smelled the mixture, detecting garlic, onion and some aromatic herbs he couldn't identify. At that moment, Steve was washing some lettuce and spinach leaves.

Without looking at Danny, Steve asked, "Okay ... are you going to tell me what happened with Rachel?"

Danny pulled out a chair and sat down, determined to enjoy the show of Steve cooking. "I swear ... That woman is crazy ..."

Steve frowned and said, "That's nothing new, Danno. What I want to know is what did you say to her?"

"I told her I couldn’t live in a world of lies anymore... Do you want to know what she told me?" Steve nodded, taking out a frying pan and setting it on the stove, lighting the burner. Then, he poured some olive oil... while it warmed up, he turned back to look at Danny.

"She told me she had done everything for me... for my own good, you can imagine that?" Danny asked, rolling his eyes, "I mean ... she went to talk to you to do me a favor! She wanted you to help her convince me to marry her. Unbelievable!"

Steve sighed and turned to the stove to place the two fish in the hot pan. A delicious aroma began to float in the kitchen. "Well... obviously, she went to the wrong person, Danno."

"Yes, she did..." After thinking a bit, Danny said, "You know? She asked me if there was anyone else." The hand that held the bottle froze two inches from his mouth, when he noticed the expression that formed on Steve's face, who asked," And what did you say...?"

"I told her there's someone ... special... someone in whom I'm... let's say, interested..." Danny said, finally drinking a sip of beer and walking to approach Steve, without looking away from those enigmatic hazel-green eyes. "I told her we're still in the beginning and trying to figure out what we feel and want for each other."

"Do you think she will cause you problems if she knows ... I mean, about us... if she knows that person is me?"

Danny shook his head, left the bottle on the counter and then put his hands on Steve's chest, finally answered, "Please, don't worry about her. I made it very clear that this matter only concerns me and that special person... no one else. She's curious, but I don't think she dares to do anything else..."

Steve turned around and took the spatula to flip the fish sizzling in the hot oil. For the sake of both, he hoped Danny was right.  He looked at Danny again and cleared his throat to speak, trying not to show the fear that his next question was causing, "What will happen, when everyone knows, Danno?... Surely there will be many people who won't like that you and I... I mean, honestly, I don't care what anyone thinks of me. But Rachel can use this against you."

"We'll figure it out Steve, don't worry ..." Danny's hand was still stroking Steve's chest, as if that could convey a peace he wasn't so sure he felt. He tried to find the exact words so the other man wouldn't misunderstand them. "I think ... that as we discover where we want this to go, we should keep this for ourselves for a while. This is about us... and how we feel about one another" Before Steve could say anything, Danny said, "Don't get me wrong... I don't want to hide, but we have a lot to talk about and resolve. I think we don't need to know what someone else has to say, before we understand it ourselves." Steve nodded as he took out the sea bass and put them on an absorbent paper towel.

Danny moved his right hand up, to force Steve to look at him, "Listen, Steve ... I don't want a casual relationship... I love you and I'm pretty sure I want everything with you...  I don't know how to do this romantic stuff half-hearted... I give everything and I want to give you everything, but I need to know if you feel the same."

Without taking his eyes off Danny, Steve replied, "I don't want anything casual either... I'm tired of casual relationships... I also want everything with you, Danny ... You are the first person to whom I have said this."

"The first person?" Danny couldn't help but frown, "What about Catherine?"

Steve hastened to answer, "She was never the long-term relationship kind of girl... and what happened four years ago proves that... in fact, before the last week I thought I wasn't that kind of person either... At least, now I realize that I couldn't have done that with her."

He took a couple of plates and served the fish. The lettuce, spinach, tomatoes and nuts salad, sprinkled with olive oil and lemon juice, completed the dish.

"I love Cath, Danny... We've been through a lot of crap together, we've supported each other... You know that without her, I wouldn't have found Hassan, and Joe would have died in vain. So yes... I love her very much, but I'm not in love with her... Actually, I think I've never been in love before..." Steve paused for a few seconds, "Until a week ago ... more or less. Or at least it was when I realized that I'm in love for the first time in my life".

While Danny was bringing the plates to the table in the terrace, Steve uncorked a bottle of 2002 Louis Jadot Pinot Noir and took two crystal glasses. Then, he joined Danny, who was already sitting. He poured the wine, placed the bottle on the table and sat in front of Danny.

"Wow!" Danny said, when he savored the first bite. Smiling, he said, "And I thought your skills as a chef were limited to grilling steaks and hamburgers."

Steve smiled and raised his glass, inviting Danny to do the same. When the faint clink of glass sounded, he said, "I think you'll soon find out I'm a man of multiple talents."

Before drinking a sip of wine, Danny said, "Okay ... to your multiple talents and to me, to discover them all, one by one." Steve took a sip and smiled as he put his glass back on the table.

They had finished eating, and was drinking the wine with delight, while a gentle breeze blew in from the ocean. The first bottle was finished, so Steve had brought another one. This time he decided on a softer and fruity Merlot that Danny enjoyed enormously.

When the sky began to darken and some gray and threatening clouds accumulated in the horizon, both decided to enter the house again.

While Steve was washing the dishes, Danny finished cleaning the counter and, after throwing the empty bottles into the recycling bin, he turned around and looked at Steve... he couldn't help that tingling sensation in his stomach, which was becoming so familiar, returning with more strength, as he walked and placed his left hand on Steve's hip. When his partner turned around with a towel in his hands. Danny's right hand flew to place it gently on his cheek and forced him to lean.

The kiss, soft and gentle, intensified in a short time, Steve tasted like wine and ocean, which made Danny much dizzier than if he had drunk three entire bottles. Overwhelmed with desire, he said in a low voice... "Wow! I think I've already identified one of your many talents... "

"Mmmm ..." was the only thing that could come out of Steve's throat, as he lost himself again in those infinitely soft lips.

Danny spoke against Steve's lips ... "What do you say if we..." another kiss, "... we go up so... so you can show me some of those famous hidden talents?"

Steve moved an inch while saying, "Sounds like a good plan to me! ..." A minute later, they both climbed the stairs. When the third step creaked, as usual, Danny said, "I think you should fix that step..."

Steve said laughing, "No ... it's an intruder detector."

Danny gave a loud laugh and said, "I don't know why I figured you'd say that."

Steve felt that the way to the bedroom was slower than usual, first, because he was walking backwards and his hands were determined to take off Danny's t-shirt and, second, because Danny kept kissing him.

When they finally got into the bedroom, stumbling, Danny took the half-removed t-shirt off, let it fall to the floor, pushed Steve onto the bed and quickly settled on him, resting on his knees and hands. Their lips connected again, hungry.

When Steve's shirt disappeared, Danny shuddered when his fingers felt the thin and barely visible scar that ran vertically through Steve's chest. Feeling the contact, Steve instinctively moved his fingers to the twin scar on Danny's chest. The bond they both had, seemed to be symbolized and strengthened by those scars.

Danny began to move his hands to explore that perfect torso. He briefly allowed himself to remember each of those scars and the wounds that had left them there, as a permanent silent witness to Steve's story.

For a few moments, Steve only allowed himself to feel... Each touch and each kiss weren’t felt only in his skin ... The sensation went through layers and layers to reach the deepest ... Danny was touching that place in his heart where no one had been before.

A moment later, Steve's hands flew to Danny's back and began to stroke him, touching and exploring his body with the tips of his fingers ... barely feeling, as if they were floating ...

It seemed that he was afraid of hurting him... As if he was aware of the damage that those hands were capable of doing in certain circumstances. Steve was gentle, sweet and loving ... and Danny thought, grateful, that it was the first time someone treated him with all the love which he always wanted to be treated with.

Steve rolled on the bed to be on top and Danny let out a moan of surprise. He stroked and kissed every inch of Danny's skin, until his mouth found a small nipple. Steve's tongue began to move over that point, which reacted quickly until it hardened. When he realized the effect his actions were having on Danny's body, his hand began to descend until it reached his groin... Danny moaned when Steve took both dicks in his hand and began to stroke them together.

The hips of both were pushed in spasmodic movements... The hand moved up and down as they rubbed against each other. The climax was coming, and the movements sped up; the breaths fluttered, and their eyes met in a communication without words. They continued to caress each other for a while until their breathing normalized.

Steve rolled to lie on his back... The sweat began to dry on his skin, and he realized, surprised that his heart beat in sync with the rhythm of Danny's breathing. Before the lethargy beat him, a concern began to grow in his heart, as he realized the dramatic turn his life had made in the last 48 hours... At that moment, he knew he couldn't be the same man he was before: Danny had changed him. That scared him. Suddenly, he muttered, "Danny?"

Danny was half-asleep, so he just said, "Mmmm"

Steve spoke again ... "Tell me you won't leave."

Danny opened his eyes and frowned when he turned to see Steve, whose eyes were closed, eyelids tightly pressed... a furtive tear slid down the right cheek. Danny asked, "What? ..."

"Please tell me you won't leave ... Everyone leaves me... All my life I've been disposable for the people I love... I need to know that you will stay..."

Danny turned on his side, put his left elbow on the mattress and rested the head on his hand. His right hand came slowly and caressed Steve's cheek, whose eyelashes trembled. Danny said in a soft voice, "I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll be here... and when we're old and wrinkled and we're sitting in the beach chairs, arguing about dinner or watching grandchildren playing in the sand, I'll still be here." Steve smiled and sighed deeply. Finally, he let an unexpected calm wrap him and slowly fell asleep.

Danny got up and silently walked to the bathroom. He took a towel and turned on the hot water tap in the sink. When the water was warm and nice, he moistened and squeezed the towel. He left the bathroom and approached the bed carefully, trying not to wake Steve. With all the delicacy that he was capable of, he began to gently cleanse the evidence of the success of their recent activities. Steve didn't even notice.

The room was lit by the dim moonlight that came in through the window. The rain had stopped, and Danny was lying on his side, looking at Steve's naked body which lay beside him. The man was deeply asleep, lying on his back. His left hand rested on his abdomen, his right arm was bent upward on the pillow, his closed hand was holding one of the wooden boards of the headboard.

Danny couldn't believe his good fortune ... For the first time in his life, his mind imagined a promising future, against his damn habit of always thinking of the worst possible scenario. He smiled when he realized that seeing Steve asleep was another of his recent addictions.

* * *

 

Steve moved slowly ... the pleasant sensation of the warm body at his side ended up waking him completely, while he remembered the night before. He opened his eyes and smiled when he met face to face with Danny's mischievous look. The blond man approached slowly and softly kissed Steve's lips. "Good morning ..." he said.

"Good morning, Danno," Steve answered as he stretched his muscles while still smiling.

"Okay ..." Danny said mockingly, "I'm glad to know that, at least on Sundays, you give up your SEAL routines and wake up at a decent hour like a normal human being."

"It's not because it's Sunday, Danno." Steve replied, as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Danny couldn't help his eyes watching him hungrily. "It's for you ..." Steve had a mischievous smile, "I woke up early, but I decided that maybe we could change one exercise for another much more fun." He ran and went into the bathroom, just in time to avoid a pillow that shot off towards him.

When he came out of the bathroom, he settled back into the bed, next to Danny, whose face had suddenly become serious. "What's wrong?" Steve asked.

"Have you already thought ... what are you going to do? I mean the commission in Coronado ... are you going to take it? "

* * *

 

**Fifteen days later…**

_Steve was wearing his camouflage uniform and shouted instructions to four teams of recruits who were getting out of the ocean at that moment. The boys were fully dressed in black cargo pants and white t-shirts. Each team consisted of seven men ... they all walked in line and together was carrying a huge tree trunk that had to weigh, at least 400 pounds, while enduring the ravages of a raging ocean and shouting "Hooooyahhh!"_

_The training was going well and this stage was crucial ... The boys were preparing for the Hell Week so the success in each of the exercises was of great importance._

_After a while, the guys ran over the beach carrying their heavy load and headed to the camp. Steve started walking with David through the sand, talking in a low voice about the expected results of this phase of the training. Two minutes later, they got into the helicopter._

_When they reached the base it was almost dinner time. After saying goodbye, he walked to the parking lot ... He got into his truck and drove home. On the way, he felt satisfied, for the umpteenth time, of having made the right decision. While taking the H1, he remembered his conversation with Danny, fifteen days before._

* * *

 

Steve looked at Danny, who felt like if a laser penetrates his eyes, flooding him with heat inside. "Absolutely not. Danno I won't take it ... Although I'd like to supervise the SEAL training program, I’m not willing to leave what I have here." He approached Danny and kissed him.

Danny returned the kiss, but moved away a moment later, "Steve ... listen to me. I know that, at this moment, you feel that rejecting the commission is the right decision ... and I definitely want you to stay, but you must also think about what is best for you ... "

While Danny was talking, Steve could feel the moment when an idea came to his mind ... Perhaps it was possible to have the best of both worlds. The idea matured quickly ... Without saying anything else, he picked up his cell phone looking through his contact list for David Lange's name and tapped on the number.

Danny followed his movements with his eyes, while Steve left the room... He stayed there, lying on the bed, thinking ... almost fearful. The opposite emotions invaded him. On the one hand, he hated the idea of Steve going to Coronado ... but on the other, He knew Commander Lange was right... Steve was the ideal man for the job. Danny wanted Steve to stay in Hawaii, but not at any cost... he wanted Steve to be happy.

Half an hour later, Steve entered the room. He had wrapped a towel around his waist and had two cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to Danny and sat on the bed, sniffing his with delight.

Danny waited a few seconds, before impatience overcame him and finally asked, "So ...?"

Steve drank a couple of sips of coffee and set his cup on the bedside table. He looked at Danny and replied, "So... It seems I'll supervise the SEAL team training after all."

Danny felt his heart crumble, but  he decided to show a smile that disguised his disappointment ... After everything that had happened between them, Steve would go to Coronado.

"Hey!" Steve said suddenly, Danny's fake smile didn't fool him for a second ... "Don't do that, will you? Why do you think I asked you to tell me you would stay?" When Danny didn't respond, Steve said, "Because I want to stay too... I meant what I said... I want everything with you, Danny. I said I woudn't leave and I won't... okay?"

Danny frowned, "I don't understand."

Steve smiled and said, as he reclined on the pillows and put his arm around Danny's shoulders, pulling him. "When I told David I wouldn't take the commission ... Well, he didn't like it very much at first ..."

He took his cup and drank another couple of sips, then he spoke again, "But later, he told me there is a plan B ..."

Danny was still confused, but hope had arisen again, "Plan B?" He asked.

"Yes ... Apparently the position of Training Supervisor of SEAL teams in Pearl, is also available ... So David told me that, if I want it, that commission is mine."

"Wow!" Danny said, unable to avoid the huge smile that showed on his face. "Then, you would stay on Oahu ..." Steve nodded silently, but Danny asked, "What about Five-0?"

"Five-0 stays the way it is, Danno. That was one of my conditions to take the commission. I'll continue as the leader of Five-0 and I'll train the teams three times a week in Pearl.

Danny couldn't help the joy he felt ... slowly, he moved his leg so that his body rested on Steve's... a Ninja movement caused the towel to magically disappear.

When the kisses and caresses began to warm up, Steve whispered, "I want to feel you, Danny... Inside me." Danny moved away a couple of inches and scrutinized Steve's face with a look, "Are you sure?" he asked.

For a moment, Steve misunderstood Danny's frown and surprise, he said in an apologetic tone... "Umm... only if you want." Danny kissed him hard. "Of course I want to... but I don't know what to do... I mean... I know the theory, but I've never done it before... I don't want to hurt you."

With a smile, Steve replied "You could never hurt me, Danny."

Danny's hands began to stroke him again and, one more time, their mouths connected. The sensations intensified with anticipation. Then, Danny slid his mouth down to Steve's neck and throat, stopping next to his ear to whisper, "Do you have any lube?"

In a hoarse voice full of desire, Steve said, "In the drawer ..."

Danny reached out and opened the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a K-Y tube and a condom. He opened the lid and poured a generous amount into his hand.

Steve shuddered when he felt Danny's hand stroking him again when he began to prepare him; He was nervous, but he closed his eyes and forced himself to relax, focusing on the overwhelming sensations that began to accumulate and was running all over his body. Danny was careful... he prepared him slowly and unhurriedly, watching Steve's reactions to make sure he wasn't feeling any pain. His mouth sucked and kissed Steve's lips and every inch of skin he could reach.

Suddenly Steve moaned loudly, and his body shook when Danny touched a spot inside him. It was a new and intense feeling... something he had never experienced before. Danny couldn't help but notice his reaction, so he repeated the movement a couple of times, until Steve said in a pleading tone, "D ... Danny ... please."

Danny moved his fingers away and Steve suddenly felt empty... He heard when Danny tore the aluminum pack and opened his eyes. Gently he took the condom from Danny's hands... and slid it on his partner’s dick. Then, he took the tube of lube and put a little more in his hand, stroking it up and down a couple of times.

Danny put a pillow under Steve's hips and placed himself between his legs, leaning forward, until his chest covered Steve's, which shone with a thin layer of sweat, then, he whispered in his ear, "All right. Tell me if it's too much and I'll stop, okay?" Steve breathed deeply and nodded silently. Danny came in slowly... his eyes were focused on Steve's and his right hand gently stroked Steve's hair.

Steve closed his eyes when he felt the slight burn... he tensed a little... he knew this would hurt, but soon he realized it was a sweet pain... a soft pain that enhanced the enormous pleasure of feeling Danny inside him. Every pore of his skin emanated energy... Instinctively, he lifted his hips, forcing Danny to go deeper.

Danny felt overwhelmed and stopped, closing his eyes for a moment ... When he opened them again, he realized Steve was looking at him... One more time, the words were completely unnecessary... Steve nodded slightly, and Danny began to move, slowly at first ... then he sped up the pace.

They looked into each other's eyes all the time, silently communicating all the emotions that overwhelmed them... The rhythm in Danny's movements became more erratic as his orgasm was close... They both joined in a moan at that final moment and Danny collapsed on Steve's exhausted body.

They stayed that way... intimately connected and embraced, for an indefinite time. Finally, Danny rolled to one side... after removing the condom and throwing it in the trashcan, he put his head on Steve's chest, smiling. "That was amazing..." he said while Steve smiled without having the brain capacity to build any words.

Danny didn't understand ... he had always been loud and talkative during sex, but somehow, he had felt that, with Steve, that was unnecessary.

Steve, on the other hand, was completely relaxed... At some point, all his fears and doubts faded away, giving rise to an indescribable feeling of peace... he felt fully and unconditionally loved... He didn't fool himself, there would be problems, but they will be solved, one by one. He smiled and pulled Danny into a tight hug... for the first time in his life, he was totally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all the people who read and commented this story. I really enjoyed to write it. Thanks to my wonderful beta, Hugo (I love you). I hope this ending doesn't suck.  
> Thank you for everything.


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